To ask what you have done to change your life for the better

[Littlecatonthefence]

Im not depressed, or desperately unhappy maybe just a bit meh alot of the time but on the other hand grateful for what i have.

But i feel like life is passing me by and i want to make more out of it.

What have you done for yourself to make your life better or just more productive.

Yes I'm from a Muslim family. I'm lucky that my siblings followed suit and are mostly non-religious now. My mum picked her kids over religion and has accepted us. My dad, I don't talk to him anymore sadly but I think we would both like to mend things somewhat in the future.

One other thing I forgot earlier was booking days on my calendar as "not bookable". Because of the nature of my work and one of my hobbies I found that I was getting hardly any days completely free for me to do things such as hiking, cross-country skiing etc. which were the reason I moved to the Alps in the first place.

So now I block out at least one day a week on the calendar as soon as the month starts to look busy and I stick to it. If people phone asking me to do something on a booked out day I just say "I'm sorry I'm already booked for that day".
The only exception would be if it was some amazing opportunity which comes up rarely.

A few things have made a huge difference for me:

Got diagnosed with an underactive thyroid and am on levothyroxine now - gone is the constant exhaustion, brain fog, hair loss, etc etc (weight still an issue but less a case of gaining for no reason now, more a case of struggling to lose any unless I eat 1200kcal or less)

Moved halfway across the country away from London, to a seaside city (with a bad name but I like it here, the people are friendly). I work remotely now so no more 3hrs commute every day is fantastic, plus my job is fairly flexible so I can go get my nails done once a month without feeling guilty about it.

I also have taken up some hobbies that are good for mindfulness - cross stitching, embroidery, painting by number - none of these are particularly high brow or artsy but they really help me relax and make me feel more productive than scrolling endlessly on my phone.

Committed to weekly swimming, yoga and pilates classes. These take priority now. This is possible now my children are older and less running around.

When teaching I went down to 4 days a week and it helped me manage workload and my work/life balance.

Lost weight: I used Noom.

Walk round the block 5 days a week. A short 20 min route if I’m tired or an hour if I feel motivated. I hate exercise, but little and often can make a real difference. (Plus Noom then gives you extra calories 😂)

Learnt to cook: Hello Fresh. Once I built up a collection of recipes I cancelled the subscription.

Write a Bucket List, then actively start working through it. I’ve just been on a helicopter ride over London and I’ve got a Hot Air Balloon experience booked. Novelty afternoon tea experiences: Peter Pan, Alice in Wonderland, on a Train? Dans le Noir restaurant.

I love the theatre so I book everything I like the sound of at my local theatre. I worked my way through all the musicals I wanted to see in the West End. I googled ‘Shakespeare near me’ and found AmDram productions and small theatres I hadn’t heard of before.

I google spa experiences and every month my friend and I go somewhere different. Examples: Nirvana Spa, A Turkish Hammam, Reflexology, Aqua Sana, Floatation Pods, Hot Stone Massage, Paraffin Wax Pedicure, Crystal Sound Bath and Meditation.

Book a new restaurant to try every month. Work your way through Tripadvisor’s top list for your area.

Self care: luxury face cream, moisturiser (I love the Sol de Janiero range), hair cut, nails etc.

Bought a little radio for the kitchen. I used to listen to Capital on the way to work in the mornings and since being a SAHM I felt a bit removed from the real world.

Google holiday destinations and look at top rated hotels on Tripadvisor, then start planning when to go.

Thanks you so much everyone!!

Ive read through all the posts and whats lovely is this is probably the most positive thread ive been a part of.

Last night i set up an app joint planner with my DH, its called "Cosi" and we have just sat and put all our stuff for the kids and us into this planner and that gave me a real boost of feeling organised with the kids especially and everyone knows what is happening and nothing is double booked.

For me...i think i need to priorities myself just a bit. my kids are young ( 3 under 9) and im just underneath it all trying to keep everything going with a full time job and everything else.

Im going to start walking, less phone time and a big one for me is i want to go to bed and just read or sleep instead of scrolling for hours and being knackered in the morning.

Loads of amazing ideas and when im home tonight im going to make a list of the ones id like to start.

Thank you

Moved to a great new area
retired
lost weight
get out walking every day
began volunteering
eat more healthier food
spend less time with people who were bringing me down and were having a negative affect on my well being

Added a bit of colour to the house- the days of grey and white are over.

Drinking more water.

Stopped attending pointless work meetings. I told my manger I can’t do the client facing work and attend endless meetings so I’m prioritising. Not likely to get promoted anytime soon but I’m feeling much better in my work.

Three members thanked for this post!

My life is far more calm, stable and worry-free since I gave up having a boyfriend.

I've stopped telling myself 'I can't'. Trying to silence the voice in my head that tells me I couldn't do that, I couldn't manage that, I'm not good enough.
Now, I'm doing things that put me outside my comfort zone and trying out, or signing up for all the stuff I would previously have said ' i cant'. Whether that's experiences, travelling, exercise or something else. And I'm loving it so far!

This is a great thread.

Brought some clothes that fit and fit the purpose I need them for - my post-baby, post-pandemic life is far more casual than the one I had before so I've spent time picking clothes that I like wearing.

Exercise regularly. Turns out it does make you feel better!

Took a lower paying job with fewer hours and crucially less stress. Would 2013 me be horrified? Yes, but 2023 me likes shutting a laptop and being done for the day.

Scaled back some friendships - I don't want to stop being friends but I've stopped seeing them as much

Being silly more - I've got a 3yo, nothing makes me happier than him roaring with laughter because I'm pretending to be a sock eating monster or jumping in puddles with him. Adults should be silly too.

I lost weight (and ate healthier and exercises which made me feel good).

I took care of myself - moisturising with a hint of tan, painting my nails, doing my hair and make up nice at least once a week.

As soon as I come in after work I will get changed and exercise.
I will then put on an audiobook and clean, sort my stuff out for the morning and then cook.
Then I can eat and relax.
I used to come in and sit down for a minute and before I knew it I had wasted hours.

I also put my phone in another room so I’m not tempted to go on it.

I also try not to do food shopping on the weekend and do it after work instead.
Which frees up time on the weekend to do something more fun.

Im going to start walking, less phone time and a big one for me is i want to go to bed and just read or sleep instead of scrolling for hours and being knackered in the morning

@Littlecatonthefence
One thing that helped me with that was buying an alarm clock and switching the damn phone off. I'd previously used the excuse of needing it as an alarm clock to have it switched on next to the bed which of course led to doom scrolling etc late at night and checking the news first thing in the morning which caused anxiety and put me in a bad mood.
A tiny change (buying an alarm clock) made a huge difference!

No keyboard warrior-ing over politics. I'm not on Twitter but I used to let myself get dragged into to and fro's with my relatives on FB. I don't post/don't comment any more. Put my money where my mouth is by donating to charities that are important to me. Let's see how this holds up in 2024 (big election years in both my country of origin and here.)

Yoga - x10000
Getting fit/losing weight generally after COVID when the pounds piled on. Wasn't just the weight, it was lying idle in bed all day, not able to drag myself out of it and spending 13 hours p/d in front of the computer.

I'm loving other ideas on here so much. I could thank every poster!

And podcasts!

If you keep on doing the same things, nothing will change. I kicked out a dead loss partner, took out a gym membership & joined an art class :)

On the other hand, life is routine for most people most of the time. It's the human condition. Are modern people less able to be content? I think so. I also think being able to see at a tap the highly curated, fictional perfection of other people's lives makes us feel inadequate when in actual fact it's the inadequacy of the people driven to do this that makes them do this as it's that we're picking up on. They're reflecting the way they feel onto us and this is something people often do in real life... The person who talks over you feels unheard... the person who likes to demonstrate they know it all is anxious you'll think they're uneducated or unintelligent... The person who has to dress immaculately always fears being judged for having a hole in their tights or whatever.

So are the people around you making you feel unfilled, malcontent, or is this genuinely a feeling within yourself?

Minimalism, reading philosophy, cooking your own meals, getting closer to nature, gardening, less tech.

I joined a gym. Best thing I’ve ever done for my own mental health and fitness. I’m almost 50 and the aches and pains are starting ( diagnosed arthritis in one ankle ) and weight training is keeping them at bay for now.

Also stopped caring about what anyone thinks of me. I’ll pop into the local shop in my wellies and without makeup now, something I would never have dreamt of doing even 10 years ago. No one cares!

Last one - I only ever agree to do things I want to do. I have absolutely no problem with saying no. I’m too old to be a people pleaser so I suit myself and my family. I’m not cruel but if I’m invited to an event or someone asks me to do something I don’t want to do, I politely say ‘ No thank you !’.
It’s incredibly freeing!

Despite having what would be considered a demanding and well-paid job, I set up my own travel agency this year. Initially it was with a view to giving myself more experiences, plus discounts on family travel, but really quickly identified that I love coming up with brilliant holidays for people and get a real kick out of them having a great time! Although it now takes up nearly every spare moment of the day (which OH is less happy with :) ) I just feel energised throughout the whole day, with a knock-on positive effect on both my main job and the family.

So I would encourage you to consider what your passion is and make sure you find the time to do it - I wouldn't have thought I had any time, let alone multiple hours(as well as a FT job, have three kids), but you can definitely carve it out of your downtime (although that's quite good as well!) In my case it does help that I can do it anywhere I have a computer/phone/notebook but even if it happened to be, say, cycling, it's made me realize that there is time to do it if you make it.

Love your post, I'm looking at mo, they dont even read it....they csnt take strong , funny emmen either!
It's Savage 🤞🏻💃🏻 enjoy yourself my darling!

That sounds amazing! Can I ask how you approached that, did you follow any guidance/courses or just set up a company and got started? How did you advertise? Sorry for all the questions, just sounds really interesting.

I prioritise sleep where possible. I do some yoga. I try not to do everything at once - set myself achievable goals. Not like I'll tidy the whole house and be super healthy but rather ill put those papers in box files and do 20 mins yoga. Less phone time, more time with friends. I stopped making an effort for people who don't deserve it. I don't mean falling out etc... just not going above and beyond.

I heard about a couple who had one of these, white carpets, and a pet with a runny bum. Didn't end well.