To ask what you have done to change your life for the better

[Littlecatonthefence]

Im not depressed, or desperately unhappy maybe just a bit meh alot of the time but on the other hand grateful for what i have.

But i feel like life is passing me by and i want to make more out of it.

What have you done for yourself to make your life better or just more productive.

I started going with DH to the Gym a few times a week, we both feel much better for it, DH especially.

Gave up the hamster wheel corporate life, left the office politics and toxic bullies behind. No more 6 hour commutes, no more worrying I'm getting too old, no more having to smile and be nice to idiots.

No more big bucks but I've learnt to live without as much of that!

That’s great you still have a relationship with most of your family.

I was curious as I have some friends who didn’t renounce Islam but did things like living with a non-Muslim man and even that was enough for their parents cut them off. But of course I know every family /culture is different.

Anyway, I’m glad that wasn’t your experience. Hopefully your Dad will come round too.

I love this thread. So many great ideas on it that I need to adopt. I am currently struggling with life and need to focus a lot more on self care, I know.

My biggest one would be to sort out my shit diet and lose some weight.

Lost weight

Got rid of Facebook

Retired.
losing four to five stone.
drastically cut down on alcohol
taken up swimming

Go to Pilates every week.

Had my dd when everyone told me not to (I was not in an ideal situation) it's not been easy but having her was the best decision I ever made 🥰

Also getting a dog! I waited a long time before getting one and was worried about whether it would be the right decision however the pros have massively outweighed the cons. He keeps me fitter from walking and he brings me so much joy just looking at his cute face!

Well, I might be moving soon. I've been living in rubbish places for years. The two flats I lived in with my ex, his parents' house and two HMOs, none of which were very nice Just looked at a lovely bedsit today (and it is lovely, those words don't usually go together) and I might be moving in soon! My friend came with me to view it, and I'd already told her I couldn't afford the deposit, although I can afford the rent, and she said she'd lend me the money for it, which made me cry. It's nearer to town than I am now, and it's much closer to the train station, which means I can go train spotting more often! 😅 And more exercise would be good.

Thank you for this thread ❤️

Got divorced and started exercising regularly

Oh yes! I forgot, I quit Facebook. And took up knitting.

Got divorced
Massively cut down on alcohol
Started exercising properly (running and yoga)
Stopped doing/saying things to make other people feel better about themselves
Stopped giving a fuck what other people think of me (apart from a small handful of people I really cherish)

Two years at Christmas for me. No more hangovers or morning after regret. It’s life changing.

Therapy and going back to college at 40

@BraveMaeve so firstly (that's just me) I did a lot of research - as if you Google you will find a lot of information on the industry but there is also a mini-industry in agents recruiting other agents and taking a referral fee (not an issue if you know, but it's not always obvious) and very different structures and rules for payment /commission split. I currently do it more for fun rather than as a second income, and having set up a website etc reckon I broke even at about the six month mark.

I lucked out (or did my research correctly!) and joined a small group that offered a six-week training programme, and they are quite brilliant. There are a mix of people in the group, some do it full-time, others like me have a main job and it's a bit of fun or a second income, and others just book for family and get cheaper holidays themselves. I'm lucky in that I have a lot of personal connections who trust me, so I've not had to advertise at all - this is particularly lucky as I'm hopeless at social media! If I was doing it full time, I'd definitely advertise and probably employ someone to help on that side. Again there's a mix of people who do it through a company or as self-employed, I do the latter.

Do feel free to drop me a message if you have any other questions - I won't hijack this thread!

I joined a local Rotary club. Was new to the area, knew only a few people. Husband joined Round Table, but then it was men only, and the ladies had Ladies Circle, which I didn't fancy. Rotary is any gender, not as stuffy as it used to be. It is a great way to meet new people, learn more about the local area, do some fun fund raising projects - we organised a rock concert this year - and has really become a big part of my life. There are loads of what are known as service clubs, but they don't seem to appeal to the 30+ generation which us a real shame as I have got so much out of mine, and my husbands time in them. If you think it may be for you, go to a few different club meetings. Some always meet over a meal, some don't, some have a wide age range of members, some are narrower. There are even some clubs that work online only, it is up to the members to run the club in a way that suits them, so a wide variety.

Divorce.
Was amazing.

Couch 2 5K, I'm not a natural runner and slowly building up over 10 weeks and setting myself the challenge has done me wonders.

Which one do you use?

Ended marriage at 41 to husband who was abusive but also v controlling and emotionally withholding. That was a year ago.

As a result I cut down dramatically on alcohol - we used to drink 4-5x a week, 6+ drinks in. one sitting. I now drink 1-2 drinks a week max. Quit smoking entirely (never a heavy smoker but I would join him having a cigarette once or twice a week). Got therapy.

Developed a “start with yes” mindset - yes I’ll join the book club, have new people over, apply for that new job, travel by myself, fall in love again etc.

This has been the most stressful year of my life but my life has also improved immeasurably so I’m looking forward to the future. I feel younger at 42 as a sole parent than I did at 35 in an unhappy marriage.

Number 3, 100%! Enjoy the simple, little things. People tell me I'm too young to have a simple life but honestly, give me a good dog walk with my little family, quality home cooked meal, a film and a nice bath and I am super happy.

My other thing is go outside. Just get some fresh air for a bit every day and things feel much better.

So many things...went back to uni for another Masters and changed my career to something really interesting, rewarding and with good pay and shorter hours!

Go swimming, running and do pilates nearly every other day.

My DH makes me laugh every day and is always kind and thoughtful but I never really appreciated him until now I am sorry to say.

Got a pony so I can get on and off easily 😁 ( (I am of retirement age but I have no plans for that, ever!!)

DH has followed suit and has got himself a horse so he can join me on lovely rides in the countryside.

Got ourselves another dog!

Just had the last exhibition in the arts ( my career before going back to Uni).

DH and I love traveling so now that COVID is out of the way we have cruises , ski trips and weekends away booked up.

Our DC flew the nest but came back home due to the cost of living crisis so are able to help out in kind with looking after the animals, cooking delicious meals and cleaning, bless them so they can save enough to get their own places down the line.

Absolutely love life at the moment and feel blessed every day.

Hasn't always been this way and as we can never take our health for granted, we make a special effort to remain slim and fit.

Mine are:

what other people think of me is none of my business.

do at least one thing per day for myself

do one random act of kindness per day/ before you speak let it pass through three gates: is it kind, is it necessary, is it true

try and do something for charity. I’m not great at this because so busy but it really does fill my cup when I do it

say no without explanation

appreciate the small things/ gratitude list

don’t be afraid to let go of people that don’t make you feel good

honestly working on kindness and compassion has made my heart three times bigger, made me more friends and made me think better of myself and made me a happier person