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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask what you have done to change your life for the better

309 replies

Littlecatonthefence · 30/10/2023 11:14

Im not depressed, or desperately unhappy maybe just a bit meh alot of the time but on the other hand grateful for what i have.

But i feel like life is passing me by and i want to make more out of it.

What have you done for yourself to make your life better or just more productive.

OP posts:
Macaroni46 · 31/10/2023 07:37

Gave up teaching.

Startingagainandagain · 31/10/2023 07:41

Great thread!

Fo me:

-getting into mediation during the lockdowns. I listen to YouTube guided meditation videos every morning and before I go to bed. It really helps me control my anxiety and a long term health condition

-Weekly Pilates class. Really relaxing and gave me some really good muscle tone! Again also made a real difference to my chronic pain and mental health

-Moving from London to a small seaside town where I also have access to lovely countryside and things are generally more affordable and people so much nicer and relaxed

-Cutting off toxic relatives from my life

-Being vegetarian. Better diet and cheaper products! again improved my health massively

-Making time to read rather than watch mind-dumbing TV

-Travelling again starting with little trips rather than big holidays. I went to Scotland, Amsterdam and visited parts of England I did not know well (Cambridge for example)

-Writing a couple pages in my journal everyday

-take one day at a time and be grateful for small things.

Basically I accepted that to manage a long term physical health condition and some mental health issues I needed to make some major changes in my life and take care of myself better and started to slowly doing that.

I also stopped caring about what people think of me and I am no longer afraid to open up and ask for help when I need it. For example, I no longer 'mask' the fact that I am on the autism spectrum and that I have long standing health issues. That does not make me less of a decent person and a decent friend. If people are put off by that, then it is their prerogative,

My next steps are to get myself a bicycle to go around town and help me exercise some more and not rely on public transport and to finally adopt another cat (my old girl died two years and I could not face having another furry friend until recently).

My job is still a sore point and I will need to address that to carry on improving my life. But as I said to take one day at the time and make progress as I can.

IdealisticCynic · 31/10/2023 07:42

I started booking things in advance. It’s very easy to just get through life without actually doing anything enjoyable, and then you get through a week and have done nothing social or fun and you feel too tired to sort something out. But now I book things in advance - theatre, gigs, exhibitions etc. Once paid and in the diary you do it even if you feel tired but afterwards I feel happier, energised and more enthusiastic about life generally for having done them.

Muddle2000 · 31/10/2023 07:45

Without being rude I say No more
often to people or activities that are of no good Life is short Know or find out what you are worth

Wanderernotlost · 31/10/2023 07:49

Great thread. Lots of inspiring ideas on here.

I kept following my childhood dream of being an author even though the odds were against me.

Writing consistently has transformed my life - I’m now a published author which has positively impacted my life partly because it was my dream, but also as it’s pushed me do things I’d run from before like public speaking.

I also cook, and exercise more now . I’m finding so much of enjoying life is about doing what brought me joy as a child. And creative writing, cooking, and movement did that for me growing up.

ohfook · 31/10/2023 07:51

Tree12 · 30/10/2023 18:39

Started seeing a women’s coach. I used to scoff at ‘life coaches’ but she’s helped me change my life in ways that I couldn’t do on my own.

This one sounds really interesting. Are you able to expand on it a bit?

Crayfishforyou · 31/10/2023 07:53

I quit smoking
I found yoga
I try not to have too much stuff, too much crap everywhere stresses me out.

Londonrach1 · 31/10/2023 07:55

I lost a friend recently in her early 40s...since then I've reduced how much I work and doing crafts And spending more time with friends...

AlisonDonut · 31/10/2023 07:58

The thing that changed my life for the better was learning how to grow food.

And the second best thing was being able to take early retirement.

And the third best thing was moving to France and getting out into the air every day, even if it is raining, just to get it onto my face and into my lungs.

Badbadbunny · 31/10/2023 08:01

AceOfCups · 30/10/2023 11:35

started using an old-fashioned paper planner.

originally got it to keep track of upcoming work trips, but found it really useful for managing my life in general, and now I wouldn’t be without one.

I use it for appointments, daily to-dos, project planning, lists etc. There are blank pages at the back where I jot down useful info like NHS number, passport number etc. The planner I use is small and slim so I can take it anywhere and I’m so much more organised and productive now as I can see where my time is going. It makes me more accountable and I make conscious choices about what I want to prioritise. It’s hardly a revolutionary idea but it’s been life-changing for me and I really wish I’d discovered the magic of a paper planner years ago!

Similar here. I'm back into using a filofax (yes, they still exist). I got so fed up of forgetting things despite using appointment and diary apps, online notes etc., and having to scrat around looking through the smart phone and laptop for scans of documents etc. Gone back to paper and havn't regretted it at all. Feel far more in control again now! Got the smallest/thinnest filofax and carry it everywhere with me. Saves so much time and I feel so much better organised!

Zanatdy · 31/10/2023 08:28

Joined a ladies walking group. It’s a new group that we have now extended into social events, and means I’ve got something social to do 3 times a week. Saturday walks tend to be a few hours with lunch or coffee and cake. One evening is now a short walk and games in the pub. I was feeling quite lonely as my kids are growing up now. I’ve also started saying yes to social things with friends. This week I went to the Ritz for afternoon tea and last week the theatre. I also say yes to things I don’t know if I’ll like, galleries, talks by sculptors (followed by drinks). Also started making more of London (30 min train journey). I feel like I’ve got a good mix now of being at home, and socialising.

FucksSakeSusan · 31/10/2023 08:29

Got divorced.

Bubblesatbathtime · 31/10/2023 08:32

Started hrt. Has made a huge difference so far as to how I feel day to day.
Prioritise reading books over TV.

RiderofRohan · 31/10/2023 08:34

I left Islam, gave up the hijab, stopped letting religious beliefs restrict my experiences and ended up married to a wonderful non-Muslim man. My life is currently pretty good. I feel very grateful because it was the most difficult decision of my life and could have gone either way.

bluejelly · 31/10/2023 08:35

Meditation using the headspace app. 10 mins a day and it has been so helpful for my mental health and stress levels.

HRT - no more achy joints, waking up drenched in sweat and general anxiety

Fitness classes which include small weights 2-3 times a week - am so much fitter and have finally found an exercise that I stick to

Mikimoto · 31/10/2023 08:36

Always have a trip on the horizon to plan for and read up on: doesn't need to be far, long or expensive. Booking ahead, even BA is cheap. Recent ones have been weekends in Bologna and Stockholm.

Joystir59 · 31/10/2023 08:38

Contribute to the lives of those around me.

squashi · 31/10/2023 08:40

Giving up alcohol (nearly 2 years ago) was a big thing for me. It's had a positive effect on my self-esteem, energy levels and weight.

ginslinger · 31/10/2023 08:45

I've started running. I am very slow and I started by running 1km and now I run 3.5 k 2 mornings a week and a 5k run at the weekend. I am energised by the run and do much more than on the days that I don't run. It's good for my health and I've lost a small amount of weight

Ohyeahwaitaminute · 31/10/2023 08:47

Divorcing
Dancing
Digging (in the garden) 😄

Found meditating very helpful during lockdown and have continued it. I use https://www.mind-springs.org/

Wild swimming wherever and whenever I can.

Cutting back on carbs gently and losing weight gently. More a way of eating than a diet.

Saying Yes to more stuff to do and experience. I’ve done some great stuff. No way would my ex have ‘allowed’ me to do any of it.

Just building up to getting a dog again.

Alistair Appleton | Mindsprings Meditation

Mindsprings was set up by Alistair Appleton to explore the benefits of meditation in the modern world. Much clinical research these days concentrates on working with addiction and depression. We’re interested in working with wellness and the promotion...

https://www.mind-springs.org/

AuntieMarys · 31/10/2023 08:56

Divorced.
I say no a lot.
I put myself first .

Nellynoo182 · 31/10/2023 09:04

To be more productive or for the times when I just really cba, I set a 15 minute timer (or 5 mins if I am exhausted) and say I will just do 15 mins of cleaning/ whatever needs to be done. Amazing how much you get done in 15 mins of concentrated time and often I end up finishing whatever needs to be done because I’m almost there. I’m an OT and use this technique with service users a lot!

CeibaTree · 31/10/2023 09:08

A few things lately:

-Taking collagen powder - it has done wonders for my joints and general sense of well-being, which in turn gives me more energy to
-go swimming at least twice per week.
-I meditate before bed each night - just a short 5-10 minute one on the Insight Timer app
-have sorted out our finances by sticking to a budget so we are not feeling broke at the end of each month
-cut a toxic 'friend' out of my life - she was so competitive and gossipy and a complete energy vampire. I hadn't realised how much this was affecting me until I withdrew
-we are in the process of decluttering and the house feels so much better
-16:8 way of eating - I have lost a bit of weight and broken my sugar cravings
-started studying a subject that I love, I have done a few short courses, and have now signed up for a professional diploma
-drastically reduced my alcohol intake - I drink a couple of times a month now rather than every weekend.

Wanderernotlost · 31/10/2023 09:08

RiderofRohan · 31/10/2023 08:34

I left Islam, gave up the hijab, stopped letting religious beliefs restrict my experiences and ended up married to a wonderful non-Muslim man. My life is currently pretty good. I feel very grateful because it was the most difficult decision of my life and could have gone either way.

Edited

Are you from a Muslim family? If so, how did they react if you don’t mind me asking ?

Upwiththelark76 · 31/10/2023 09:13

Started listening to the radio . Sounds daft but it’s mindfulness time . My time .