To ask what you have done to change your life for the better

[Littlecatonthefence]

Im not depressed, or desperately unhappy maybe just a bit meh alot of the time but on the other hand grateful for what i have.

But i feel like life is passing me by and i want to make more out of it.

What have you done for yourself to make your life better or just more productive.

Good thread.

I sometimes feel a bit like that, mostly with work, especially when there is too much to do and I take it too seriously; but most of the time I am grateful for what I have. The things that help me are:

Meditation: I do mindful movement from YouTube.

Yoga: I feel better when I exercise. I use YouTube as well. Even 15min to 20min in the morning make a huge difference.

Prioritise time with family and friends.

Travel: Take as many holidays as possible.

Vitamins: Taking Vitamin D and Evening primrose oil.

Focus on what I can achieve on a day and try to forget about the multiple responsibilities and to do list. I am not a machine.

Try not to take work too seriously. I can’t solve everything. I am only one human.

Sometimes I manage sometimes I don’t. winter and dark evenings get me down too; but I feel better when I stick to the above.

Binned off a group of shit friends. Honestly completely changed my life for the better and have never once regretted it. No big fall outs, just drifted off and never looked back.

I started a gratitude journal. I write about something that I am grateful for each night. Even if I've had a bad day, I can always find something, even if it's a small thing. It's been really helpful, I focus more on the positive now than the negative.

Stopped caring what other people think, especially total strangers.

Prioritising my time with my children, trying to be there for them as much as possible.

Getting outside as much as possible, feeling the weather and the seasons change.

Gratitude journaling. It retrains the brain to find joy instead of the evolutionary trend to look for and notice things that are undesirable so they can be avoided. Single most beneficial change to my mental health. Looking for things to be grateful for isn’t about pretending everything is good, but acknowledging that there is joy to be found in the strangest places. This starting point has led to so many other beneficial changes in my daily life that seemed impossible once.

Absolutely love sound baths, it’s an hour for you to be just yourself, I highly recommend them. Everybody I’ve taken with me has loved them too! (no water involved, you bathe in sound) may sound a bit hippy but honestly they’re so good!

https://www.shantisom.com/en/blog/what-is-a-sound-bath-and-its-benefits/

• Improved my core strength hugely, with instruction from a gym advisor. This has helped my back more than any amount of painkillers
• Quit drinking except for a few times a year on special occasions. Something changed in my thirties and now even a modest amount of alcohol makes me depressed the next day. Like properly depressed.
• Got on mirtazipine -it helps me sleep and gives me a better appetite.
• Started saying 'no' to (some) things at work. I love academia, but it will take as much as you give and ask for more
• Learned a new-to-me instrument, as an adult! I did grade 5 on guitar the other week and got a merit. 😆

All in all I'm in a much better place than I was a few years ago. I was in a bad job in a town I didn't like, far from my friends and family, drinking too much, doing no real exercise and sleeping like shit.

Going to university and moving away from my hometown opened up a world of opportunities. That was my best move, my life would have been very different if I had stayed.

1. Got a cleaner who declutters. I can't stress how lovely my home looks now and how much happier I am for it. Lots to do but 90% clearer than before.

1. Redecorated. For ages I 'made do' with my bland home because in a way I didn't think I was worth having a nice home, but it's so very me now.

1. I do more brain train games on my phone rather than surfing the net mindlessly.

1. Not sure it's a good thing but stopped the cycle of wanting relationships so much to work and being in sad/unsatisfactory ones. I realised im happier alone these days rather than hoping/being disappointed.

For those reading more, do you use a Kindle or buy actual books?

Definitely exercise (specifically lifting weights) and taking care of my diet. Also stopping alcohol consumption. I do drink on special occasions, like a glass of champagne at a wedding for example, but I don’t drink regularly.

Lifting weights has given me something challenging to do outside of work and a kind of confidence in myself that I can do hard (for me!) things. It’s also completely changed my body composition and my attitude to food. I eat far more now in terms of calories than I ever have. Prioritising sleep has also really helped.

I do everything “right”. Hard working, exercise, religion, volunteer, good to kids and animals, friends, go the extra mile etc. I still feel
empty sometimes so last night I had a large glass of wine and felt all warm and content. Sometimes even Pollyanna needs a day or ff.

Have you tried intention setting? It can be the three main things you want to get done that day (can include nice things not just chores) or longer-term goals (I tend to reflect on longer term goals at new year and birthdays - ‘by the end of the year I’d like to have..’). And then work out how to do them. I had some coaching this year, it started with ‘what would you like your life to look like a year from now?’ (be aspirational but realistic and choose things in your control) and then you work backwards from there adding all the steps you need to get there.

Trying to not be so hard on myself

I prioritise self care

I eat well, I don't drink alcohol, I get plenty rest.
I attend a yoga class most days, I meditate every day, I journal.
I practise self compassion, I pay attention to my spiritual needs.

I’ve really enjoyed reading this thread. I know I should loose weight, do more exercise and get more fresh air-so I’m going to try and prioritise that this week and go from there.
Things I have done that have changed my life for the better are to put work into perspective and prioritise my family. I can do my job well with about 60% effort so I do, and work a four day week. I will turn down meetings, business trips and opportunities if they clash with my kids clubs, activities or events. It makes me happy to see them thrive and no one at work would remember me if I quit tomorrow anyway.
Other than that, always having the next holiday booked gives me something to look forward to. I recognise this is a massive privilege, but if you can, I would always have something in the diary.

Being mindful, I have learned to appreciate the small things in life.
I live simply- spending money on " stuff" gives me very little pleasure.
I don't enjoy big days out, theme parks or shopping trips.

Just to lighten up in general. Life is so heavy going and serious, just be ok with what is.

Power walking 6-8 miles a day. I've lost four stone and started to regain some confidence in myself.
It's also had really positive benefits for me mentally.
I tend to do an hour's power walk early morning and another at lunchtime.
The early morning walk in particular really sets me up for the day.

Prioritised physio over everything... I'm hoping this pays off. ATM, it just means I spend all my spare time and some not spare time doing exercises. Why live with pain for so long?!

Became a writer so now have total flexibility and can look after my family and myself without going mad.

Finally stopped expecting my family (not DH or DD) to give a shit about me and put some boundaries in place. I realise this doesn't sound very positive but realising relationships for what they are, toxic or downright abusive, can set you free!

Got an air fryer!

Join the gym.

saying no or „I will have to think about it“ whenever I want to say no but feel overwhelmed.

comfortable shoes!

frequent physiotherapy and medical massages for chronic back issues and headaches. Life changing!

I would LOVE to get more about the things you did, this sounds like such an amazing idea! Please tell me more, this idea just speaks to me so much.

I used to go to physiotherapy twice a week, the gym 3+ times a week and had medical massage every second week.
plus regular stretching during the day and evening.

it was my absolute priority. and it was definitely worth it.

not doing that much anymore and I am feeling the difference... But I feel like a lot of progress was still maintained. 👍

Bump

I do the same and have since a teenager - never met anyone who does it too! If I'm not feeling right, I stop and visualise my sim scales and work out what's wrong. Am I hungry, cold, tired, need a wee?! Love that I'm not the only one

I cleared out all the clutter from my house and now have a system for keeping on top of it. I feel a lot more in control of my surroundings now.