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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband won’t call grandchild by his name

582 replies

Blyther · 29/10/2023 22:18

our grandchild (5 months) has an unusual name. It’s a made up name which is a bit ‘out there’- think along the lines of ‘starry-Skye’ or ‘misty-bridge’. Our daughter in law is a bit whacky.

It’s of course entirely up to the parents to choose the name of their child but my husband won’t even say his name as it makes him cringe so much. He refers to the baby as ‘the little one’ or will call him by his middle name.

It’s now become apparent to the parents how he refuses to use his name and it’s causing an atmosphere. I just don’t know what to say to them as I completely understand his point and feel very sorry about the potential bullying he (the baby) is likely to encounter further down the road.

Advice on moving forward please.

OP posts:
looking4pup · 01/11/2023 00:54

As in you still pronounce it the same way.

PyongyangKipperbang · 01/11/2023 01:08

Anyone else remember "Splitting Heirs"? Was a film with Eric Idle, Rick Moranis, Barbara Hershey and Catherine Zeta Jones. Was slated by the critics but I bloody loved it, especially John Cleese' utterly insane lawyer!

Eric Idles birth name was Thomas Henry Butterfly Rainbow Peace, but his mum (BH) called him Butterfly Rainhow Peace. Thats all I can think of!

I would go with calling him Dixie with a nickname attached "Oh here is our little Dixie boo" or something like that. Poor kid having a mother who takes the naming of her child to be about her being whacky, rather than actually giving the kid a name he can spend the rest of his life with.

IndigoLaFaye · 01/11/2023 01:11

BS this guy is choosing to laugh to make a point. Congratulations you are soon going to be posting “why do we never see our grandchild”

jlpth · 01/11/2023 01:35

I'm sorry OP, but you need to master calling that baby exactly what his parents call him or you are not going to be seeing much of him.

I'm sure you can say it with a straight face if you keep the prospect of never seeing him in the front of your mind.

It's a shit name for sure. But you need to use it. They're his parents, they've chosen it.

PyongyangKipperbang · 01/11/2023 01:47

And like hell is she "whacky"

She is self obsessed and narcisisstic! I would put money on her falling out with practically everyone she has ever known and it all being their fault.

OldPerson · 01/11/2023 03:22

Naming babies always causes controversy. Everyone wants a name they can relate to and always find fault with name chosen. Your husband is comfortable enough to use middle name - which the parents also like or they would not have chosen it. Tell the parents you love the second name so much, husband is always going to use it, and he's not quite with the modern age on the first name. Just make sure husband is actively engaged with grandchild. Because the value of an active grandparent is gold dust for all parents of children. And you personally need to keep using both names - so both first and second name are comfortable. WARNING: The parents will not change their child's name to suit your whims and preferences. But if child grows up hating name - having one family member habitually use middle name as identity, it's an easier switch/decision for child, if that is a decision the child wants to make.

vivazeboo · 01/11/2023 03:41

If it’s Peace - it could be shortened to Pee…maybe that’s the worry…

edit; sorry just seen what the name is!

ICanFeelItComingInTheAirTonight · 01/11/2023 06:33

Why not just call the baby Dixie? That's the only normal part, and certainly not laughable!

BreatheAndFocus · 01/11/2023 06:38

Sounds like a wind up 🙄 But if not, it’s not up to your DH to judge other people’s names and decide whether he deems them worthy of use. What if he was introduced to an adult Dixie and started laughing at their name and refusing to use it? Perhaps others think your husband’s name is stupid/boring/old-fashioned/sounds like a rude name?

Grow up and call the child their name.

RainbowNinja77 · 01/11/2023 06:38

You use his name and let your husband make his own decisions.

Emotionalsupportviper · 01/11/2023 06:51

AnnieSnap · 31/10/2023 22:14

Dixie is okay. Not great, but okay!

I agree.

Nothing wrong with Dixie, as unusual names go.

Are his mam and dad giving him the full whack? All three names every time?

They'll soon grow out of that themselves - it'll just become impractical shooting "Dixie-Moon-Beam" - your tea's ready". "Dixie-Moon-Beam - get that lego cleared away NOW" etc.

But if this is the name, then I agree with your husband - it's not one I would have chosen.

Edit: spelling

Floralie222 · 01/11/2023 06:51

Full name is ridiculous and you are not BU. I would really struggle.

Dixie is fine alongside the kids names you commonly see today. Dixon also quite a popular name especially in the US. I'm sure your grandson will end up using that. Your DH will be okay with that especially if you use it too and if you consistently use it too son and DIL will hardly object.

More importantly please delete this thread before someone shows them and you have a much more serious problem!!!

grumpycow1 · 01/11/2023 06:57

YABU (well, your husband is). He needs to get a grip. If I was DS and DIL I’d be very annoyed.

Most grandparents end up calling their grandkids a nickname so maybe he can work towards that. And for now just grow up and realise it’s not all about him.

grumpycow1 · 01/11/2023 06:59

Just saw you put the actual name?! If this is not a joke thread, I’d delete pretty quick 😬

Emotionalsupportviper · 01/11/2023 07:02

looking4pup · 01/11/2023 00:53

It's not how you spell it though is it?

Show quote history

Oh! 😮😳

It was only when I read this post that I realised why it might be "rude". (To the pure all things are pure, etc)

I had been thinking "Dix" because as a jazz lover it made me think of Bix Beiderbecke, and I'd never even though of <koff> appendages. 😉

However, plenty of men, past and present manage perfectly well being christened Richard and having this shortened to "Dick". I think "Dixie" or "Dick/Dix" is better than "Baby Moonie" tbh.

Your husband has a bad mind. 😄

And if I were you, if this is real I'd get the thread deleted. And I would use the baby's name.

Edited: grammar

lwishyouwould · 01/11/2023 07:05

My main issue is why they've hyphenated Moonbeam as it's one word. What is the obsession with fucking hyphens in naming children. 🙄

Dixie is not so much an issue over here but the connotations in the US aren't great and why the band Dixie Chicks have dropped the Dixie.

Emotionalsupportviper · 01/11/2023 07:09

I wondered about the hyphenating "Moonbeam", too @Iwishyouwould - and also why OP would tell us how to pronounce "beam". Isn't it always pronounced like that?

I wondered if I'd missed something

And what's wrong with "Dickie"? Again, I wouldn't choose it, but it's better than "Baby Moonie". IMO

Edit: to add a bit

MaryMcI · 01/11/2023 07:09

The name is a bit out there, but it is not terrible.
Dixie is fine as a name and the parents will get fed up of saying ‘Dixie Moon Beam’ all the time. I used to have a friend who gave her children quite out there names, including one she and her DH entirely made up. They moved abroad and have an amazing life, which I in my boring pedestrianism would not have had the courage to do.
To be honest, if I met a baby Dixie Moon Beam, I would probably say that’s brilliant, may he go far. That name expects that he will. It’s honestly not as bad as the early posts were making out.

ABeautifulThing · 01/11/2023 07:11

Maybe the parents are Ray Charles fans.
In all seriousness though, assuming this is a genuine problem, it's not going to change, I think you should listen to the podcast I posted earlier, it's interviews with people who grew up with unusual names, I actually think you might find it helpful to get a grip on your laugh response, not because it fully endorses it, but because it gives you a rounder perspective.

lwishyouwould · 01/11/2023 07:12

Emotionalsupportviper · 01/11/2023 07:09

I wondered about the hyphenating "Moonbeam", too @Iwishyouwould - and also why OP would tell us how to pronounce "beam". Isn't it always pronounced like that?

I wondered if I'd missed something

And what's wrong with "Dickie"? Again, I wouldn't choose it, but it's better than "Baby Moonie". IMO

Edit: to add a bit

Edited

I read that the surname is stream. So rhymes with Beam but like a river.

Emotionalsupportviper · 01/11/2023 07:14

lwishyouwould · 01/11/2023 07:12

I read that the surname is stream. So rhymes with Beam but like a river.

Show quote history

Ah - so it's just the rhyming aspect.

I agree that's pretty cringe with any name/ surname.

Thanks

Changednamesforthis22 · 01/11/2023 07:15

Dixie is better than 'baby moonie' by a mile.

Emotionalsupportviper · 01/11/2023 07:15

ABeautifulThing · 01/11/2023 07:11

Maybe the parents are Ray Charles fans.
In all seriousness though, assuming this is a genuine problem, it's not going to change, I think you should listen to the podcast I posted earlier, it's interviews with people who grew up with unusual names, I actually think you might find it helpful to get a grip on your laugh response, not because it fully endorses it, but because it gives you a rounder perspective.

I have just skimmed and missed your post. Is it the "Freakonomics" podcast?

ExTheCheater · 01/11/2023 07:22

Blyther · 31/10/2023 22:10

The name is Dixie-Moon-Beam, his surname rhymes with beam - like a river.

Thank you for all the comments. Sadly neither my husband or I have mastered saying his full name with a straight face. We will continue to call him ‘baby moonie’ or ‘little one’ until things reach crisis point. I guess then we will have to reassess and think of a new strategy going forward.

Dixie Moon Beam Stream 🤣🤣🤣 I'd crack up too. That is such a cruel name.