Threats from ex husband about court

[AmyJahabee]

So I split from husband 3 years ago. I have applied for financial settlement towards him and he emailed threatening and blackmailing say if I take this to court about financial settlement he will disclose that he helped proof read my university assignment basically trying to say if it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t passed my course which is a lie and he would tell my employer ( I have been with them 8 years) and university ( I graduated 12 years ago) about proof reading some of assignments. I had trouble with the law when I was 19 and got cautioned and have never done anything wrong ( this is not on my records anymore, he also said he will tell them as I’m a bad person. During the marriage he abuse me verbally, emotionally and physically I call the police once and cancel the charges as I was scared. Should I forward his email to the court? Or just wait until he bring it up in court?

I say this kindly that’s not a thing that anyone would care about. People proof read essays and dissertations all the time, my sister did mine, no would would thing I didn’t do the work. He’s hoping that he can continue to emotionally abuse you. Ignore these threats they are not real. Or, show your solicitor or court that he has threatened you, but it’s the threat they would look down on, not the proof reading of work.

I proofread my friend's PhD thesis before her viva, of course it didn't invalidate her work. I doubt he'll bring it up in court, he'll just make himself look bad. He's still abusing you.

So he’s trying to blackmail you? There are laws against that

Proof reading is not illegal. If he wrote your assignment then that's different, but just checking it for you is not an issue. Fight back 💪

Hard face time. He can do what he wants, you're not responsible for him looking like a dick A. He can't really prove that and B. So he read your work and gave you feedback, that's not cheating unless he's a tutor of the subject himself and noone else could get such support.
As for you "being a bad person" lots of exes try to convince their partners of this, its not taken seriously and a sign of manipulative control
. My ex thought he'd have some sort of hlory moment telling the family court what a lowlife I was, funnily enough the process was very clinical, no chance really for either of us to speak all very bureaucratic and it was clear the presiding didn't have the slightest interest in whether we were good / bad.

If only proof read it for you nothing to worry about. Continue with the financial settlement. Good luck.

Proof reading and looking for typos and errors is not something wrong. It's plagiarism that is wrong. And rewriting is wrong.
Basically he's a piece of work and you're well shot.
If he did rewrite parts think about what proof he has. Did he email you back rewritten versions? Other than his word what has he got against you?
I wouldn't normally advise hiding any transgressions but this has zero to do with a fair split of your marital assets. He's a big bully.

Tell him to proof read this 🖕

Just to reinforce that getting something proof read isn't wrong. Every academic published has their stuff edited and proof read!

He's a dickhead. I proof read my dbil dissertation, i didn't have a clue what half of it meant but was able to check for spellings and grammar.
A court would take that as more evidence of his bullying behaviour.

Ignore his threats, they are meaningless.

Push for the financial settlement. Ignore him/grey rock regarding anything else.

I would speak to your employer HR just to tell them that you have a vindictive ex who is threatening to lie about you to your work just to give them a heads up to expect a nutter. They might be wary of him coming in person too and put something in place to help protect you.

Proof-reading is an actual career! Of course it's a common thing to do for friends or family, there's nothing wrong about it at all. DH is a writer and editor and he has proof-read everything from PhD theses to books (fiction and non-fiction) to CVs to screenplays for friends and family.

Your ex sounds spectacularly thick. No wonder he's an ex.

No one would graduate if this was an issue.

My spelling is terrible, my poor husband read so many essays on topics he knew nothing about.

I read loads of daughter's, not for spelling but looking for flow and referencing errors.

Nothing wrong with either action, nothing wrong with what you did.

Just call his bluff and go ahead with your plans, he's threatening for a reason, he doesn't want that outcome. Should he actually follow through, it would likely backfire when nobody cares and he'll look like the manipulative cock he is.

Definitely show your solicitor the threats/blackmail but don't engage with the ex.
Keep yourself on track with getting the financial settlement that you're entitled too.
Doesn't matter what he says, no-one would take him seriously, so he proof read your work, I've done the same for people, it's not cheating.
You had a police caution years ago, it's spent, no-one can use that against you.
If he's daft enough to go to your employer you tell them the truth
"my abusive ex is still trying to control me and coerce me into taking a lesser financial settlement than I'm entitled too, he's now stooping to making up silly stories about me, I'm very sorry that you've been caught up in this"
That's all you need to say, don't give his stories any credibility.
I'd be very surprised if he went that far though, he'd look like a complete lunatic.
As for him saying you're a bad person, you're not, you know you're not, there's only one bad person in this tale that's bad and it ain't you.
Stay strong ❤️

No ones going to care about any of that. Your employer hasn’t sacked you in 8 years so they must like you.

You were married to him, and literally the worst thing he can threaten you with is telling people that he… proofread your uni work?

Ha! You must be a saint!

And he is clearly a dick, who’d be laughed out of whatever room he was in ‘disclosing’ that. What a loser.

Hi OP, I’m a lecturer at a university and mark student assignments. Having someone else proofread read your work is not against our policy; this is something that we actively encourage as one can be “blind” to their typing errors. I have not heard of any university that would have an issue with proof reading.

Thanks everyone I’m actually was really worried about what will happened. Especially my caution ( was with friends and walk out with ear rings from a shop)which I’m very embarrassed about I want to swallow myself in the ground and he used it constantly in the past to put me down and reminded me of how low life I am.

With my job this my dream career I’m doing well settle progressing and he’s coming up with his shit of lies

You need to take some slow deep breaths and try to stop spiralling/ panicking.
He cannot ruin your career. I paid a professional proofreader fgs...
If you are concerned. Try and calmly compose an email to your HR giving the heads up that your ex is threatening to approach work with unfounded allegations. You can copy a draft here if you want some help composing it
The caution is spent and not on your record, no one will care

”Have you actually just committed blackmail in writing and put your name to it? Hmm? I’ll see you in court.”

Everyone fucks up in life one way or another, that time doesn't define you now. As others have said, if you're worried give your work a heads up that he may stir trouble and they won't be blind sided.

Just remember though that people like him know how to get into peoples heads and this is exactly what he's doing. He must have something to lose by your actions so just ignore his threats and let him dig a hole for himself. Document everything in case you need it.

This is gold

Proof reading isn’t illegal but blackmail is, that’s the reply I’d send him