Or is he? He says I'm mental

[AtACrossroads89]

Ok, so I live in a big city where I never see people vaping in bars. My bf lives 3 hours away in another UK town where vaping in pubs is not banned.
I have bad lungs and smoke and vaping clouds irritate my lungs.
When I'm in a pub in his town and see someone vaping I either move to another part of the pub or if that's not possible, I leave.
My bf says I'm being totally unreasonable, that I ruin every night out we go on, and my obsession with vaping is "mental".
We've been together a year and just before I met him I went through 6 months of ill health with my lungs. I have been much better since then.
Am I being unreasonable? Thanks for reading.

He's not a keeper.

He's a prick, and you are not being unreasonable.

Are you sure he even likes you?

@DisforDarkChocolate Very good question indeed.

I thought vaping was banned in doors everywhere, yeah he isn’t someone l would want to be around long term.

No you're not.

Do you want to be with someone who calls you 'mental'?

Get rid of him.

What's his problem?

I thought it was too, I'm in England, where I never see it. But apparently it's not illegal, it's down to the establishment whether or not they choose to ban it. Most where I live do ban it.

Vaping and e-cigs may be winked at in some pubs, but it's not allowed.

He sounds like a selfish, immature dick, with the empathy of a tarantula. He live 2 hours an 55 minutes too far away.

Because I wanted to go to another part of the pub that he didn't like. He wanted to be in the main area.
A couple of weeks before that we'd been in a very small bar where even the bar owners were vaping and I told him I wanted to leave. He left but told me later he had wanted to stay there.

I asked him about this and he said: "I didn't say YOU were mental, I said your obsession with vaping was mental."

Hmm. Google is my embarrassing friend...

It is legal in pubs, it's down to the landlord to say no!

I would end it. This is going to be an issue every time you go out in these places with him.

He doesn't care about you, does he? The fact that you find vape smoke so distressing. Just get rid.

No, you're right, he only cares about his own desires.

Semantics. There's no real difference in meaning, is there? You are 'mental' / your obsession is 'mental'

It's the same thing. It's about you, about the way you think and feel - in his opinion.

Is he worth it?

He clearly doesn't care about you. Time to get rid.

I'm in South Yorkshire and never see anyone vaping indoors anywhere.

So you are actually undertaking a long journey to meet this rude inconsiderate person? Why?

He was fantastic when I first met him. It kind of feels like we're at the end. He hasn't called in a couple of days and neither have I. I was talking about it with my friend and she said "don't do anything rash just yet, because he was so good at the beginning."

He was, but it seems his attitude has changed.

I've never seen it anywhere in England either. He is in Wales.

I'd get rid of him. I can't bear vaping - breathing in sweet, sickly chemical vapour really irritates my lungs and I can't be around it.

I'd be leaving any pub that allowed it, why the hell would I choose to sit in a room and breathe it in? And I'd be dumping anyone that said my obsession was 'mental'. He's dim and lacks empathy.

@twattydogshavetwattypeople yes, I'm wondering.

Thanks @Hatty65 I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way.

My RL friends said their husbands would insist they leave the pub even if their hubbies weren't bothered by the vaping but their wives were, IYSWIM.

IMHO he was good at the beginning because you were on the receiving end of his introductiry offer: where he's super nice to reel you in and convince everyone that you stay with him.

Then the offer is withdrawn and normal service is resumed. Unless he goes back to his super nice self, which he won't, let him drift away. He's currently hiding to force you to go and find him. Let him.

Your lungs trump any relationship and there are lovely men out there who will resect your health needs because they see you at worth it. He simply doesn't. That makes him not worth it.

He was fantastic when I first met him. It kind of feels like we're at the end.

There you have it, I'm afraid. In the early, exciting days, the novelty made him considerate. Now it's got along a way, he's taking you for granted and putting himself first.

You're dodging a bullet, by finding this out after not a great length of time. If you carry on, he'll treat you like a doormat.