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AIBU?

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Original poster

Or is he? He says I'm mental

84 replies

AtACrossroads89 · 28/10/2023 12:06

Ok, so I live in a big city where I never see people vaping in bars. My bf lives 3 hours away in another UK town where vaping in pubs is not banned.
I have bad lungs and smoke and vaping clouds irritate my lungs.
When I'm in a pub in his town and see someone vaping I either move to another part of the pub or if that's not possible, I leave.
My bf says I'm being totally unreasonable, that I ruin every night out we go on, and my obsession with vaping is "mental".
We've been together a year and just before I met him I went through 6 months of ill health with my lungs. I have been much better since then.
Am I being unreasonable? Thanks for reading.

OP posts:
AutumnFroglets · 28/10/2023 15:34

Well, he is gorgeous. At least I think so. My sister doesn't though!
Take a photo and stick it on the fridge (or bedside cabinet) then ditch him. Don't be one of those women who will do anything for a good looking man but who is rotten to the core. You, your emotional, mental and physical you, is worth so much more.

Chickenkeev · 28/10/2023 15:37

AutumnFroglets · 28/10/2023 15:34

Well, he is gorgeous. At least I think so. My sister doesn't though!
Take a photo and stick it on the fridge (or bedside cabinet) then ditch him. Don't be one of those women who will do anything for a good looking man but who is rotten to the core. You, your emotional, mental and physical you, is worth so much more.

This! So true and so well worded. Should be given out in schools!

AdoraBell · 28/10/2023 15:40

YANBU.

RampantIvy · 28/10/2023 16:18

I think he and his wife had this amazing sex life so there was probably a huge physical attraction there, and then the kids came along. But he said that in the final few years the marriage was over and she wanted to divorce him. Then he had a relationship that lasted a few years with a woman who really adored him, as I have done.

He said that ended because of her family "interfering". I imagine that was her family looking out for her best interests, which he didn't like.

Those are his versions of events. I suspect that the women's versions will be significantly different. It's funny how it is never his fault.

pinkyredrose · 28/10/2023 16:33

Get rid of this useless twat.

Original poster
AtACrossroads89 · 28/10/2023 16:33

pigsDOfly · 28/10/2023 14:57

Well, doesn't he sound like a peach.

You don't need someone like that in your life; currently it's your attitude towards vapes that is mental, down the line it'll be many more things.

Your friend is wrong. Be as rash as you can and ditch this nasty man asap.

I was married to someone who always put me down and constantly told me that I was wrong about everything. It eats away at you over time and destroys your self esteem. Took me years to value myself after my divorce.

Be kind to yourself and find someone who values and care for you.

Interesting that you say that. My bf never pays me compliments, but is very good at criticising me.
On the other hand, he does a lot for me and takes care of me in other ways. He never says he loves me and when I have asked him about this he says he shows his love in the things he does for me. But he is selfish and critical.

OP posts:
Original poster
AtACrossroads89 · 28/10/2023 16:35

RampantIvy · 28/10/2023 16:18

I think he and his wife had this amazing sex life so there was probably a huge physical attraction there, and then the kids came along. But he said that in the final few years the marriage was over and she wanted to divorce him. Then he had a relationship that lasted a few years with a woman who really adored him, as I have done.

He said that ended because of her family "interfering". I imagine that was her family looking out for her best interests, which he didn't like.

Those are his versions of events. I suspect that the women's versions will be significantly different. It's funny how it is never his fault.

Well, yes. I would love to talk to them and hear their side of the story.

OP posts:
Chickenkeev · 28/10/2023 16:52

@AtACrossroads89 your eyes are opening now. Lets get moving! It's big and it seems scary, but it's really not. Get rid of this 'man' and free yourself up for someone who appreciates you. You can do it, it really isn't as hard as it seems. There's an army of people here who'll have your back!

AutumnFroglets · 28/10/2023 20:46

He never says he loves me and when I have asked him about this he says he shows his love in the things he does for me.

He wants you to put your health at risk /make breathing harder just so he can chat to others in a pub. That is him showing you love. Normally people want their loved ones to be able to breathe don't they? 🤔

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