To be offended by GP comment?

[Macadamia1976]

I have severely injured my lower back. I'm in agony and can't move without pain.
I bent down, lifted a heavy double buggy up from the ground, twisted round whilst bending over to lift it into the boot of my car then overstretched to position it in properly. I did this really quickly and something snapped in my lower back and I suddenly felt searing agony.
After initial urgent care treatment and being diagnosed with a torn ligament, I had a follow up with GP for pain management.
Never seen him before.
He was in his late 30s, maybe 40.
He said "I fail to see how lifting a buggy into the boot has caused this."
I said "Well I was told in hospital it was a combination of bending and twisting my lower back whilst lifting a heavy object. Plus I have an old injury in the same area of my back so I think maybe it was a weak area..."
He said "No, I think this is wrong. It's not possible to be in as much pain as you say you are in from putting a buggy into your car."
At this point I was confused by why he was challenging my injury. I was in pain, and was there for a pain relief medication review.
He said "It's because you need to lose weight."
I said "Pardon?"
He smiled for a few seconds, then said "Yes, you need to lose a stone from your tummy area, if you don't mind me saying" whilst really smiling. "Then your back pain will resolve. You have done this to yourself by eating too much and the stone in weight that sits on your tummy is putting a strain on your lower back. It wasn't lifting the buggy. I'll give you more painkillers but you need to get rid of that stone of weight on your tummy".
I didn't even realise he had even noticed my tummy.
I was wearing trousers and a top.
I am 5ft 7 and weigh 11 stone.
I wear size 12 to 14 clothes.
I've had 2 emergency c-sections so I admit I do have a tummy overhang, but I hadn't thought of this as a problem, I just see it as a result of having emergency abdominal surgery 2 times to save my 2 DC's lives when they were born. I don't really think about it, I'm too busy looking after my DC and working hard in my job.
I was almost crying in pain during this appointment.
AIBU to be upset by his comments?
Or am I in so much pain that I'm feeling oversensitive.
(Edited typos)

I used to know a professional competition horsewoman - we're talking about long listed for the national team. Anyone who rides knows that you develop a fantastic core, especially dressage which she did, and have to be very fit to ride & school up to 5-6 horses every day as well as caring for them.

She bent down to pick up a hot water bottle one day. Ended her career, could barely sit on a horse ever again due to the permanent damage done to her back.

Your GP is a complete dick. But sadly many are, I've had great GPs and shit ones, and am currently looking to change my GP as they have gone completely downhill since a change of senior partner. Plus the senior partner is one of those who doesn't seem to believe in ADHD as they won't enter a shared care agreement or prescribe meds for the condition.

GP's are dicks. I have realised. ALL of them! Ive started to hate them and really feel sorry for the vulnerable people who have to see these hateful creatures. My GP, a woman who was bigger than me, told me that all my issues are from obesity. I am 5'4 and wear size 14 clothes, 70 kgs. She said to me that at my fattest I should be 65 kgs and I was fatter than I should be at my fattest

I think, even if he is right, he could have taken a more tactful and sensitive approach.

So that sense, YANBU.

I actually cannot believe this GP has even left you questioning, he is DEFINITELY in the wrong I would make a formal complaint and want him sacked that is absolutely outrageous and incredibly sexist but most of all unprofessional and he is not fit to be working for NHS. Please report this so other women don't have to be affected

I’m astonished that a youngish GP would say this.

Dick.

I injured my back bending down to get yogurt out of the fridge and I am not overweight. So he is talking rubbish. It's the motion not the weight of the thing you're lifting that causes damage.

Rude and unnecessary. I would make a complaint. Did he introduce himself as a GP, or do you know him as such ? Because a lot of ‘medics’ you see at the GP practice are GP assistants and not actual GP’s. If you’re not sure, ask, and then make sure you complain about the language in which he framed his comments and ask not to see him again.

@MrsSkylerWhite I l'm not in the least astonished. An F2 in A&E once told me she assumed I was retired as I was over 60. And then proceeded to co duct a frailty review as though I lacked capacity.

Something is going deeply wrong with Dr training.

Slightly off topic but this thread shows how much people really need to be taught to squat and lift, not bend down and lift.

I can still vividly remember the manual handling course where we were told if you just bend down from the waist and pick up something light - like a piece of clothing or a pen - from the floor it isn't just that you are picking up, but up to half your own weight as well.

My first disc herniating was when I was young and fit with a bmi of around 20 and I did it sneezing. You can absolutely get a back injury from awkward lifting. Most back injuries are from mundane life incidents. Weight, posture, flexibility and core strength can make a huge difference in your vulnerability to future injury and it would be appropriate for a doctor to signpost you as to how you could improve those things.

Most GPs are terrible. We have no choice about who we see and which surgery we go to. So they get away with at best giving you a cheapo pill and at worst insulting you with incorrect medical information. Ignoring you is common.

They have 0 bedside manner because you have no option but to go back.

Make a formal complaint to the surgery and demand a second opinion.

Im also super blunt with them now. « No, you are wrong. This is how it is… » Hard to be that confrontational.

Sorry you've expereinced this. Please see a dfferent GP, I would also recommend writing a letter to Practice Manager.

Yes, losing weight may help with back problems but anybody back benefits from good core strength which may slacken after 2 pregnancies.

I dissociated my kneecap a few years ago from jumping of a stool. The horrid GP I saw advised it had nothing to with jumping and more to with my weight. He too refused to listen or provide pain relief. I eventually saw a specailist who advised it was a torn liagement due to trauma. I refuse flatly to see that GP if he's offered and have complain about his manner.

Please get a second opinion and good luck.

I am exactly the same height and weight as OP. No doctor has ever suggested I am overweight.

I slipped a disc just opening a drawer once. Your injury and how it happened make absolute sense. Find another doctor.

What an absolute walking penis.

It’s true that working on core strength and stomach muscles can really help back complaints, but that’s all you need to say!

He could’ve been much more diplomatic. Of course you can hurt your back by lifting and twisting, people do it all the time and they’re not necessarily overweight.

Carrying extra weight undoubtedly puts the back under strain, but he could have been more sensitive when mentioning it.

I did my back in recently by coughing. Not even repeated coughing or a fit of coughing, I've not had a cold or anything. I had a tickly throat, coughed and wham! I was in agony. Have had to have strong painkillers and chiropracty to sort it.

Losing weight will help your back pain. Please do it for your self and family

A young trim colleague of mine put her back out sneezing wrong, so he's clearly talking shit

OP don't worry the universe has something awful in store for him, he will do his back in while having a wank and have to tell numerous female doctors. Repeatedly.

He’s definitely a knob! I once broke a vertebrae in a similarly award lift/twist motion. I heard the crunch. Needed X rays and an MRI. I don’t have osteoporosis so not even prone to fractures. It was called a rotational compression fracture I think. Luckily it healed without major intervention.

Random follow up to this, OP, are you sure he wasn’t actually a patient who just stole a white coat off the back of a cupboard somewhere in the office? 😂 (Just a small laugh about a terrible situation).

Because this is abysmal even for a physician’s assistant.

OP, you TORE A LIGAMENT. That’s excruciating even when it’s in a hand or ankle, some place that you can try to immobilize and not bear weight on, but your back? You still have to move and constantly stabilize yourself with your back; it’s endless.

There are millions upon millions of men with back pain of unknown etiology in this country (which to be fair, is awful), but I doubt there are a hell of a lot of GPs telling them, “Oh, it’s just some extra weight in your tummy. You’ll be fine,” especially the first time they meet them. And that number drops to ZERO if it says right in the file j: “Once I , all you bitches better watch out.” I would hazard to say like millions of other women, yours would now be: “Once I am treated for pain as seriously as men always are, all you bitches better watch out.”

I would absolutely complain about the GP, I would definitely refuse to see him ever again, and I wish you the very, VERY best of luck in recovering. In addition to the painkillers, a heated blanket wrapped around my back helped me a lot. Sounds simple, but sometimes simple is the best.

Well this shows how much he knows about backs, I put my back out in bed! Seriously I did, I woke up in agony, I'd obviously slept in a funny position and it took about a week for the pain to ease. I went to the GP who told me it's not unusual to hurt your back in bed. Your GP is clueless.

DP, who is very slim, has managed to do himself the same injury lifting nothing particularly heavy!

Also, weight in buggies is so variable, perhaps your doctor was picturing one of the super light (flimsy) ones?

Mostly GPs know very little about musculoskeletal problems.

IME you have to push and push if you want help on the NHS. If you can afford to pay privately for a physio, ( and can get a recommendation of a good one) they will know more.

Appalling, his treatment of you though. I am bigger than you and no health professional has ever mentioned my weight.