To ask aibu wanting ds to wear something other than tracksuits sometimes?

[sweaterweather2023]

Please help settle a light hearted discussion myself and my husband are having 😉

So I have an 11 year old boy who lives in tracksuit bottoms and sports wear. The company I work for are having a Christmas thing in a few weeks time for employees and family members including children.
I ordered a few things for ds today jeans, shirts ect but my husband thinks that ds is ok to go in a tracksuit as that's all he wears.
I think ds needs to learn there are occasions where he will need to dress up a bit more but dh thinks the world has gone a lot more casual now and what ds wears won't make a difference and that the only reason I want ds to wear the shirt and jeans is my own issues.
Thanks

It looks smart because its just black trousers and a black jacket.

It's fitted, no obvious logos, no "low crotch", no stripes or colours

Obviously, not work wear but for an 11 year old at a Christmas party... its smart enough

This is the crux of it for me. For a works party, I’d let it slide.

(& to be honest some of the old fashioned snobbery about trackies on this thread has radicalised me to be more pro tracksuit than I’d ever have imagined!!)

Yes it sounds snooty( I don't care) but I can only assume that thinking tracksuits can in any way look smart is a lower class attitude.

Talking about lower classes isn't so much snooty as vile.

He can wear what he likes at home, but has to adhere to dress codes if he's going anywhere else. YANBU.

Out of interest I presume you would think referring to upper or middle class attitudes is vile too? Because you can't not refer to one yet speak about the others. Britain whether we like it or not is still a class-based society and there are many signifiers of class, all types of people wear tracksuits but thinking they are socially acceptable as smart clothing is not an across the board opinion as can be seen from the comments on this thread.

i don’t like them but we don’t have common less vile alternatives to them. Where as we have had working class for longer than you’ve been alive.

I hate jeans and find them really uncomfortable. So if it was a case of jeans or not going, I'd have no hesitation in saying I wasn't going.

But I'd agree about sometimes they need to be able to dress up. Ds is very much soft shorts and t-shirt and rarely wears anything else. He has some sensory issues, and is very much about this is what he's comfortable with. But a couple of weeks ago we were going to a funeral and I told him he could choose between smart shorts or trousers, and the shirt was non-negotiable. He didn't make a fuss because he knows there are times he has to be a bit smarter.

So I'd cancel the jeans, and talk to your ds and see what compromises can be made. No he can't go in a tracksuit, but try for nice trousers and shirt. What I've done for ds in the past is taken him to somewhere like M&S or Next and picked several off the shelves and made him try them. Sometimes it has surprised me what he has opted for-but it's done on comfort, so ordering from a catalogue would not be a good idea.

DS (who is 6) has ASD so usually wears tracksuit bottoms as they are softer but he knows that for parties etc he needs to wear smart jeans or chinos, I give him the choice, with a shirt.

DS (who is 6) has ASD so usually wears tracksuit bottoms as they are softer but he knows that for parties etc he needs to wear smart jeans or chinos (I give him the choice) with a shirt. Last weekend at my friends 40th he delighted in asking ‘do I look smart’ 🤣

Totally agree with you. He needs to learn that there are occasions you dress appropriately. They’ll never learn these important things unless we teach them.

Can he wear his school trousers?

This is funny. Jeans were considered casual and not smart once. Maybe in the 1980: or thereabouts this thread would have read Aibu to make my son wear black trousers and not jeans to party. Or something like that.

It would be non negotiable for me! I would not allow my kids to go in a tracksuit! I’m lucky my DS (12) loves clothes and dressing up, but my daughter would go everywhere in black leggings if I let her…it’s a battle, but one that’s worth having IMO.

It would be in appropriate to wear sports wear to such an occasion. A lot of nice venues ban people from wearing things like that. Fine for every day but totally not ok here.

Ha most 11 year olds have no desire to go to such an event anyway so would probably take the option to not go.

Is he at secondary school?

My DS refuses to wear anything other than joggers and hoodies in his spare time now. He was fine before he went to secondary, but his school is so obsessed with immaculate uniform, shiny shoes, ties and blazers that he refuses to entertain anything other than leisure wear in his spare time now.

Our high streets will evolve into places we want to be in. There's no point insisting an 11 y.o. boy who likes tracksuits goes for a morning of trying on trousers. I bet there is nothing he would like less.

To answer the original question, yes, it is reasonable to insist he not wear a tracksuit to a party. And jeans are hardly uncomfortable/some onerous imposition!

My son is also 11. I am lucky if i can get him to wear joggies his preference is shorts, even in winter! 🥶🥴
Drives me insane. I would insist he was wearing at least jeans and a nice t shirt to my work xmas do.

Why do you care?

I imagine she cares because she is trying to raise her son with an awareness of the social norms of the country in which he lives.

My teenage ds lives in sportswear. We had a family funeral and I had to persuade him he really had to wear something smarter. It took some persuading and a shopping trip from hell to get him trousers and a shirt!

Insisting on jeans or smarter clothes you run the risk of someone else’s dc turning up in joggers and your ds being irked, this happened to us a few years ago. You can buy smarter joggers (combats or chinos) as others have said. The worst that can happen is that your ds is underdressed and sticks out like a sore thumb and feels embarrassed, in which case he may learn his lesson for next time (or not)!

My ds wears Tracksuits all the time due to sensory issues with clothes, however I have found a wide leg jean that are very soft from H&M that he actually chooses to wear. Smart zip jumper and tshirt and I think it is perfectly acceptable. Being uncomfortable in clothes is awful.

Finding these comments all hilarious and shows us (most of us…!) how out of touch we are and how we are now an older generation.

I am not a fan of tracksuits or sports wear. However that’s totally the fashion these days. All the ‘cool’ kids wear it. It’s literally a fashion parade in tracksuits.

For those commenting it’s track wear from the 1970’s I’m assuming don’t have teenagers or know teenagers. From those commenting they are associated with asbo’s - that made me laugh. Not these days though!

I wouldn’t be happy him wearing a tracksuit to a party but I’m old and considered them chav wear even though I know nowadays they’re very trendy. I don’t even let me 6 year old wear tracksuits to ‘posh’ or ‘dressed up’ places. he has jeans and a shirt.

I do however love that girls are wearing sports wear. When I was younger girls all wore mini skirts and looked far older than they are. I like they’re dressed differently than when I was younger as it was never comfortable back then! I did however get adidas popper trousers and thought I was the trendiest ever when I got those.