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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask aibu wanting ds to wear something other than tracksuits sometimes?

152 replies

sweaterweather2023 · 25/10/2023 21:43

Please help settle a light hearted discussion myself and my husband are having 😉

So I have an 11 year old boy who lives in tracksuit bottoms and sports wear. The company I work for are having a Christmas thing in a few weeks time for employees and family members including children.
I ordered a few things for ds today jeans, shirts ect but my husband thinks that ds is ok to go in a tracksuit as that's all he wears.
I think ds needs to learn there are occasions where he will need to dress up a bit more but dh thinks the world has gone a lot more casual now and what ds wears won't make a difference and that the only reason I want ds to wear the shirt and jeans is my own issues.
Thanks

OP posts:
IndysMamaRex · 26/10/2023 12:06

Yes the world has become more casual but I don’t think that necessarily a good thing. Nothing wrong with tracksuits etc day to day but certain occasions require more effort etc. I’ve seen young lads turning up their 1st day in an office job in a tracksuit, not great.

Its not just about him wearing jeans etc to this party. You are teaching your son social etiquette & you need to explain that to his dad cos he needs to be involved. Kid needs to know when to dress appropriately & take pride in his appearance.

ActDottie · 26/10/2023 12:07

I’m with you on this one given his age. He needs to learn there are times to dress smarter.

CalistoNoSolo · 26/10/2023 12:07

Tbh, I'd leave them both behind and go on my own. People who can't be arsed to dress appropriately for events where everyone else is dressed up are rude and inconsiderate. It's such an unnecessary twattishness.

EarringsandLipstick · 26/10/2023 12:08

ActDottie · 26/10/2023 12:07

I’m with you on this one given his age. He needs to learn there are times to dress smarter.

He can be smart in athleisure ... one of my DS has a black North Face tracksuit. An expensive purchase he saved & saved for. It's gorgeous - and smart.

EarringsandLipstick · 26/10/2023 12:09

CalistoNoSolo · 26/10/2023 12:07

Tbh, I'd leave them both behind and go on my own. People who can't be arsed to dress appropriately for events where everyone else is dressed up are rude and inconsiderate. It's such an unnecessary twattishness.

Oh don't be silly. An 11 yo is not 'twattish' because he doesn't want to wear jeans!

Ifyoulikealotofchocolateonyourbiscuit · 26/10/2023 12:10

My 11 yo ds is the exact same. He has a smart black t shirt that’s Calvin Kline which is his one smart top. So I bought him some jeans from m and s to wear with it for Christmas meals. He tried them on and did some kind of ridiculous wiggle thing and then huffed a lot like Kevin the teenager at the feel of the jeans. (He has no sensory issues, he just likes comfy joggers as do most of us). Anyway I’ve explained that it’s tough, he can deal with the jeans for the 2 hours of the meal because he is not coming in his trackies and football top. He has begrudgingly accepted

IndysMamaRex · 26/10/2023 12:11

Tbh the price of the tracksuit is irrelevant it’s the style that would not be appropriate for the event. Tracksuits are meant to exercise etc that is their purpose not for attending a party

IndysMamaRex · 26/10/2023 12:12

EarringsandLipstick · 26/10/2023 12:08

He can be smart in athleisure ... one of my DS has a black North Face tracksuit. An expensive purchase he saved & saved for. It's gorgeous - and smart.

Show quote history

Tbh the price of the tracksuit is irrelevant it’s the style that would not be appropriate for the event. Tracksuits are meant to exercise etc that is their purpose not for attending a party

FoghornUnicorn · 26/10/2023 12:16

People who think tracksuits are just for exercise need to drag themselves into the modern era but seem to be desperately clinging to the idea of “dressing up”. Let people wear what’s practical and comfortable and sod everything else.

aSofaNearYou · 26/10/2023 12:17

YANBU. I think it's healthy for kids to dress how they want most of the time but understand dressing up for formal occasions, like the rest of us.

ManateeFair · 26/10/2023 12:17

As it's your workplace that's holding the event, I assume you have a better idea than your DH about what people are likely to wear to it so I think YANBU to suggest he wears something other than a tracksuit.

Jeans and a shirt sounds good - if he really does find some clothing seriously uncomfortable (rather than just not wanting to dress up!) then as a previous poster said, chinos or combats and a smart ironed t-shirt or polo shirt would also be fine in my view. But yeah, YANBU to say he has to elevate his look beyond a tracksuit for certain occasions where it's expected!

I actually had a conversation about this very thing with a relative at a wedding over the summer; her son is 10 or 11 and also a die-hard trackie wearer. After quite a battle she managed to get him in a short-sleeved, open-necked patterned shirt and chinos with plain black leather trainers to the wedding. She was worried that it still wouldn't be smart enough but he looked great, totally appropriate for a kid his age and he was comfortable enough to mess around with his cousins and get on the dance floor.

EarringsandLipstick · 26/10/2023 12:18

IndysMamaRex · 26/10/2023 12:11

Tbh the price of the tracksuit is irrelevant it’s the style that would not be appropriate for the event. Tracksuits are meant to exercise etc that is their purpose not for attending a party

I'd like to introduce you to fashion in 2023!

The tracksuits being referred to are 💯 not for exercising in! My DS are sports-mad, play multiple sports a week - these are not what they wear.

They are fashion statements for teen boys. The price is relevant as it indicates the quality & design - they do look smart.

(I have my own issues with them too - too expensive for boys that are growing rapidly. Mine know they have to use birthday money etc to get them & they never really have enough clothes as a result as they cost so much).

GetWhatYouWant · 26/10/2023 12:19

EarringsandLipstick · 26/10/2023 12:08

He can be smart in athleisure ... one of my DS has a black North Face tracksuit. An expensive purchase he saved & saved for. It's gorgeous - and smart.

Show quote history

Tracksuits are not smart ever, full stop.

EarringsandLipstick · 26/10/2023 12:19

FoghornUnicorn · 26/10/2023 12:16

People who think tracksuits are just for exercise need to drag themselves into the modern era but seem to be desperately clinging to the idea of “dressing up”. Let people wear what’s practical and comfortable and sod everything else.

👏👏👏👏

Thank goodness someone else gets it!

WinkyTinky · 26/10/2023 12:20

My two live in joggers and hoodies and neither of them like the feeling of jeans, so I got them soft chinos and a shirt each for a recent wedding and they were fine. Smart looking tweedy brownish Adidas trainers that look like normal shoes as well, and they looked great and felt reasonable comfortable. It's only for a few hours, have you explained to your ds that it's only a short time he'll have to wear smarter clothes? I do think it's good for kids to know sometimes you need to make an effort.

IndysMamaRex · 26/10/2023 12:20

FoghornUnicorn · 26/10/2023 12:16

People who think tracksuits are just for exercise need to drag themselves into the modern era but seem to be desperately clinging to the idea of “dressing up”. Let people wear what’s practical and comfortable and sod everything else.

Is the clue not in the name TRACKsuit as in track & field. They are worn as casual wear but that was not really their intended purpose. And wearing something other than a tracksuit for a party is completely normal. Would you expect someone to attend a wedding in one? A job interview? Court? Nope as there is a time & a place

EarringsandLipstick · 26/10/2023 12:21

And when my boys were a bit younger could be forced I did go the trousers / top etc route.

To me it's even more of a waste - whatever you spend on them, they'll never wear them again. What's the point?

As I say you can still be smart & respectable in clothes they like.

CalistoNoSolo · 26/10/2023 12:22

EarringsandLipstick · 26/10/2023 12:09

Oh don't be silly. An 11 yo is not 'twattish' because he doesn't want to wear jeans!

Show quote history

I meant in general.

EarringsandLipstick · 26/10/2023 12:22

Tracksuits are not smart ever, full stop.

I love your confidence - but you are wrong.

I've seen the evidence!

Cheap, tatty slouchy trackies - no, not smart.

Well-fitted branded athleisure wear - can look great.

EarringsandLipstick · 26/10/2023 12:23

Is the clue not in the name TRACKsuit as in track & field.

Are you actually living in the 70s? 😳

No-one on a track or field has worn any form of a tracksuit to exercise in a very long time.

VisiblyNot25 · 26/10/2023 12:24

My DS also lives in trackies - there’s no way he’d wear jeans out of the blue & to be fair, I do think they’re really uncomfy if you’re not used to them. I did once get him to wear a soft chino type trouser to a family do, they were beige & still had a drawstring waist but looked nice.

EarringsandLipstick · 26/10/2023 12:25

@CalistoNoSolo

Well you said it specifically?

That OP should leave both DS & DH behind as they were twattish not to dress a certain way (tho I don't even see where DH said that about himself).

CalistoNoSolo · 26/10/2023 12:25

FoghornUnicorn · 26/10/2023 12:16

People who think tracksuits are just for exercise need to drag themselves into the modern era but seem to be desperately clinging to the idea of “dressing up”. Let people wear what’s practical and comfortable and sod everything else.

Pretty sure my teen DD and her friends are in the modern era. None of them wear gym kit as standard, and none of them would date a guy that wore gym kit as standard, and definitely not on a night out. I doubt very much she's in the minority.

ManateeFair · 26/10/2023 12:25

EarringsandLipstick · 26/10/2023 12:08

He can be smart in athleisure ... one of my DS has a black North Face tracksuit. An expensive purchase he saved & saved for. It's gorgeous - and smart.

Show quote history

Athleisure - brand and price totally irrelevant - can absolutely be gorgeous, but it's still casual wear. Of course a tracksuit can be non-scruffy and stylish, but it's not about whether it's a nice tracksuit or not. It could be the most luxurious and well-made tracksuit in the world and it would still be too casual for a lot of occasions. There's a reason that sportswear is often the only thing that a lot of dress codes for venues and workplaces don't allow you to wear.

Towmcir · 26/10/2023 12:27

I’d definitely insist on being smarter than a tracksuit.

Jeans, casual shirt and smart trainers isn’t too much to ask.