To ask aibu wanting ds to wear something other than tracksuits sometimes?

[sweaterweather2023]

Please help settle a light hearted discussion myself and my husband are having 😉

So I have an 11 year old boy who lives in tracksuit bottoms and sports wear. The company I work for are having a Christmas thing in a few weeks time for employees and family members including children.
I ordered a few things for ds today jeans, shirts ect but my husband thinks that ds is ok to go in a tracksuit as that's all he wears.
I think ds needs to learn there are occasions where he will need to dress up a bit more but dh thinks the world has gone a lot more casual now and what ds wears won't make a difference and that the only reason I want ds to wear the shirt and jeans is my own issues.
Thanks

Well you know, I said 'people' before the rest of my massively offensive (to you) couple of sentences. But whatever.

I'm with you.

Our 18yo DS lives in joggers & t-shirts but for events like this he'd wear something smarter. He has some H&M chinos (or jeans) plus a couple of smart shirts.

None of them wear gym kit as standard, and none of them would date a guy that wore gym kit as standard, and definitely not on a night out.

It's not 'gym kit' 🙄

It's clothes they wear ordinarily, for leisure. To both teen boys & girls, there's a certain status to the brand (I've a DD too & while she cares less than the boys, she'll remark on brands too).

In the gym or for sports, they certainly do not wear a €170 tracksuit (which wouldn't be suitable for exercise anyway).

And re girls - certainly where I am, the standard dress is leggings & fitted top, branded runners, New Balance.

Sure they wear other clothes too, but absolutely are all over the athleisure trend.

Is he 11 and in year 7? Did you sit down and discuss what kind of smart clothes he would wear? Remind him that nobody from school is going to see him.

I completely disagree with the person who said go to physical shops with him. He is quickly going to get annoyed when shops don't have his size or when you are waiting outside the changing room wanting to see what he looks like in the clothes.

Yanbu to say that tracksuit isn't ok even if his tracksuits cost more than the smart clothes you picked. If he doesn't like jeans and shirt, ask him if he'd wear chinos or cargos (more fashionable than jeans and might be more comfortable depending on what style jeans you picked) or a polo instead ? If the shirt has stripes or checks would he prefer plain or even his school uniform shirt? My first question about his age is because there's a big difference between age 11 y6 and age 11 y7 when it comes to fashion.

it would still be too casual for a lot of occasions.

Agreed.

But not for an 11 yo heading to his mum's work party.

It can't be worn to school. Or work experience.

Most other events - it's fine, respectable & not too casual.

I have a DS exactly the same, for a recent family event we compromised on jeans , sports wear brand polo style top, and his smartest trainers - white air force 1s- he was comfortable and it was similar to what the other boys his age where wearing - so once we got there he felt better about it .

Well you know, I said 'people' before the rest of my massively offensive (to you) couple of sentences. But whatever.

Calm down. I never said it was massively offensive. Just silly & inaccurate.

I'm with you OP, I'm guessing he wears school uniform so trousers aren't a problem. Yes, you can get some nicer tracksuits but I wouldn't class any of them as smart? Would you, as an adult, wear a tracksuit to an event when they state smart clothes?

I just asked my 12 yr old DS what he would wear in this scenario. He suggested school trousers (black in his case) and shirt, or if more casual and Christmas, black jeans and a Christmas jumper. He is used to wearing smart school uniform and dressing for Scout parades.

Would you, as an adult, wear a tracksuit to an event when they state smart clothes?

I wouldn't.

I've seen lots of others do so eg musicians, influencers & so on. That's my my style, I'm not that demographic but the 'rules' are far less clear now.

Of course he should learn that it’s not always appropriate to wear tracksuits to everything! What’s he going to do when he’s 18 and has a job interview- Dad said it was okay to wear my trackies!!

I am not saying he should be in a formal outfit, but a nice pair of trousers (or jeans) and a nice jumper would be fine. Isn’t wearing tracksuits all the time a bit 1980’s?

You've a very compliant (and good!) son.

My DS would probably faint if required to wear their school uniform anywhere outside of school!

What’s he going to do when he’s 18 and has a job interview- Dad said it was okay to wear my trackies!!

I hope we raise our DC to think critically - I'd expect an 18 yo yo be able to appraise that situation themselves.

An 11 yo is doing nothing wrong wearing presentable tracksuit & runners to an event like this.

The boys wear their school trousers for parade, it's expected and accepted. He's mostly in joggers and hoodie the rest of the time. I wouldn't force him to wear anything, but he knows there are occasions when you have to suck it up.

Yanbu. My teen DS doesn’t like jeans either so he wears cargos or chinos and a shirt/polo/tshirt. Can’t go wrong with a Ralph Lauren top but lots of brands that aren't “sports” brands would still be acceptable to my DS. I would not be ok with him going to a Christmas party in a tracksuit. We usually look at clothes together online then order something.

I had a child like this. Eventually he started noticing what other boys were wearing and wanted to be like them. Think that happened when he was about 13.

There will be occasions life where he has to conform to a dress code, once in a whole won't hurt. It would be non negotiable for me.

I agree with this! Teach kids that things don't just magically appear through the letterbox, delivered by fairies. Take them shopping, let them see the different items, feel the fabric, try things on. Let them see you pay for it, or let them splash their pocket money.

I feel your pain.

My ds was obsessed with Spiderman and like a fool I bought him a Spiderman outfit. I cannot truly express the utter joy experienced shoe horning him into his school uniform each morning. For his confirmation he was offered unimaginable violence.

One occasion not wearing trackies won't kill him. Why don't you get his father to explain that a big boy of 11 is almost a man and needs to dress accordingly. Or that his mother will commit murder and it won't be him.

Have fun! x

I wouldn't be taking him in his tracksuit.
Where I live only certain kinds of people wear sportswear to social events and they usually have an asbo to go with it!
Most people are aware that you put in a little bit more effort for a 'do' especially if it is work related. I work in an office and currently have jeans and trainers on.....I've still sorted a dress for the Xmas do like everyone else (men are smart trousers and shirt).
It won't kill him to realise tracksuits are not appropriate for a function. 6

Tracksuits are never, ever smart. Expensive ones just scream drug dealer

My DS (12) lives in tracksuit bottoms, but does own a couple of pairs of black jeans and smarter polo style T-shirts for if we go out for a nice meal or something. He just automatically goes and selects them though if we’re going out.
I agree he should have some smarter but still not too formal clothes for certain occasions.

Well, really, he can’t. Not if he wants to move in different social circles, pursue certain careers, move beyond the ‘hood. Would you attend a church wedding or a funeral in trakkies? A ball? A formal dinner?

Mine wore navy chinos and a shirt to any occasion so a wedding, a work's Christmas party where the families are invited for an afternoon. Also Christmas day but jeans or chinos and a shirt for that. Both of mine live in joggers at home but Ds2 cannot wear them or shorts for sixth form so it is either jeans or chinos for 2 years.

It is a one off, I would make him wear anything other than the tracksuit.

Honestly I think there's a time and a place for everything. So he may like or prefer to wear tracksuits, and that's fine day to day. For special occasions I'm sure he could wear jeans or trousers. My 9 yr old is the same. Loves trackies but also knows if you go somewhere special, you need to dress accordingly. Next and h&m do soft jeans that have an elasticated waist and he was happy in them.
I know he's only 11 but what's he gonna do when he has a big? He can't wear tracksuits for the rest of his life!