Does anyone have a child who has no hobbies / talent AIBU to be concerned.

[Blueyisnowfamily]

My daughter 10 pretty much struggles with everything -
she has got health issues - they are medical not SEN.
she is not academic in the slightest - really struggles with writing etc
has just started learning to read okay but up to a year ago could not.
maths she is better at but is still behind with division and times table.
she is dreadful at sport ( bless her )
she is not very good at art but tbh she doesn’t apply her self.
she is not musical or shown any interest in music.
there is nothing she is passionate about. I never worried before as she was so young but now at age 10 I wonder if if this is usual ?

The school need to assess her for dyspraxia if they are saying she is struggling so much she won’t cope with mainstream. Does she have an EHCP? If not why not? The school need to do one to say what she needs if mainstream isn’t suitable. What specifically won’t she cope with?

I know the whole system is very confusing

school day she will not cope with a mainstream secondary- she copes in the small primary school with a 1-1.
things for example

• she can not handle the classroom when the children are loud
• she can not participate in assemblies - too loud
• she can not write more than a few words and her handwriting is no where near where she should be when she does attempt to write.
• she can not sit up straight or still for any length of time she ends up all over the place
• she can not participate in normal PE lessons - no hand eye coordination, no running ability and is generally a bit all over the place.
• maths she is doing well in and she engages well in science.
• she has not built many friendships - she likes playing and being with kids but they are just other kids to her. She has not bonded with any of them on any deeper level.
• she can not handle being told off what so ever by a teacher - something minor like teacher saying she forgot her reading book - she will have a meltdown to the point she is still stressing about it when she gets home.
• she does show an interest in wanting to be good at art - however school says she is not engaging in art classes as she likes to do her own art not what she’s being told to do and finds it stressful.

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Can you get a second opinion OP? Potentially by paying for a private assessment? I'm not saying there is anything wrong but it does seem unusual at that age not to have some of the motor skills you mentioned and she will struggle at mainstream secondary school if she needs support to get through the day with some of the points you mentioned. I find it extraordinary that the school have said she won't cope because of these reasons but also there's no underlying issues. That seems a bit contradictory. What is their suggestion re secondary school then?
She sounds a lovely person but just one of those kids that perhaps doesn't thrive in the mainstream environment and so if you have some options to get her some support or alternatives like a smaller secondary then that would be great. She may actually thrive with some of the right support around her as she does sound like she is interested in several subjects.

Instead of hobbies - make a list of her strengths. Maybe encourage them.

simple things like talking, being observant, loving animals, curiosity about a subject - can be hidden gifts that lead to something later on down the line.

Not everyone is exceptional. Some kids are and most aren't. She doesn't have to have a talent- is she happy? There will be something that she's interested in, eventually, but it also doesn't mean she'll be 'good' at it- but again, who cares? If she is happy and confident, then she's basically like the vast majority of us who go through life in the middle.......

Are you sure she is not dyslexic? Or has other educational needs? It’s not always obvious.

That aside, I’d not worry she has no “talent”. But I would keep trying to find something that ignites an interest in her. I’d try to develop a hobby or 2 just for fun and some things to start giving her practical life skills and improve her confidence.

What about a trip to Hobbycraft or similar to see if anything tajes her fancy?
Scrapbooking.
Origami.
Modelling with clay.
Chess
Gardening if you have a garden or allotment
Or indoor plants, create a terrarium or cactus garden
Get her into nature, go on walks armed with an app or a book to identify plants and birds and trees. This could be combined with photography.
Martial arts is a great confidence builder and many children who are not sporty at school thrive doing it out of school.
Help her develop cooking and baking skills.
And/or DIY.
If her maths is relatively strong, try coding.

As others have said keep talking to her about all sorts of things to develop her social skills and her general knowledge.

@nibblessquibbles the school believe she has SEN
they have pushed and pushed for an ASD assessment but here there is 2 stages
we never get to the actual ADOS assessments as the first appointment with the community paed always comes out as she doesn’t need one.
she has an OT - which highlights Multiple areas
speech and language - despite 6 years of therapy she still is delayed in speech ( mainly speech errors seen in 4 year olds ) but she does understand all words etc and is now mainly pronunciation issues and anxiety.

Ah sorry understand the situation now. Can you get a second opinion on the community paed? This seems really at odds with what you and school are describing.

Neither of my children showed interest in anything much at that age & I was really worried. They have gradually both found things they are really into since - you have to give children time. Try and make sure she's not on screens all the time & give her a variety of experiences - she'll develop a passion for something else entirely and surprise you!

There must be things she likes though? What does she do to fill time at home?

Dc with no SEN do not have 1:1 support unless they need it for the medical condition. Do any of the things you list relate to that condition (such as the not sitting up straight)? From the list there, if unrelated to her medical issues it seems she has more than one thing going on. Such as asd along with dyspraxia which fwiw very commonly goes side by side. It's frustrating you're falling at then first hurdle. This can happen with girls are they don't always tick the right boxes in the check box assessment but a lot of the things you describe ARE pretty text book

completely agree.

She sounds lovely, you must be proud of the progress she has made. I would second other suggestions of horse riding. Improving gross motor skills will help with fine motor. A Riding for the disabled group where they have a physio available would be ideal. Riding will improve posture, proprioception, cure, confidence, communication and give her an activity she can enjoy and you a community of support. Growing plants can be very satisfying, my DD loves growing on new plants from cuttings to give to people.
As for not being able to join in PE, it sounds like the teacher needs more training in inclusion as all children should be able to take part if they adapt the lessons.
Craft wise, would she enjoy clay modelling or decoupage? Was going to suggest crochet as much easier than knitting but might be tricky just now if pencil control not comfortable.
Keep pushing for an assessment as well, they don't suggest not going to mainstream lightly and you need to get the right support around her.

Shes probably just not found anything she's interested in. My dad and brother are academically not so smart. But my dad is brilliant at his job, he's a builder. He can't do all aspects. Make anything out of bricks. My brother is the same. My gran once described a bird to him and he told her what type it was.

Does she have an EHCP? if not it sounds as if her needs are easily enough to warrant one. You can apply yourself if needed the SEN board is very helpful.

My DD struggled with everything at school, but always showed a great interest in animals, so we focused there and she went on to do animal care at college.

Keep looking and trying different things, something will hopefully take her fancy.

But please consider getting an EHCP too.

You need an educational psychologist and then a occupational therapist if the outcome is dyspraxia. I have a child with dyspraxia and the OT was nothing short of miraculous with the treatment. Made such a difference. She sounds severely dyspraxic to me.

Having a label to explain everything made a huge difference to my son. It improved his self esteem no end and he’s getting on pretty well now.

OP, my son was rejected for an ASD assessment at that age, even though it was clearly obvious that something was up. School and I continued to fight and he got one at 15.

You need to work with school on this. If both of you push, it will eventually happen. How are they currently funding her 1:1?

She won't be able to go to a specialist school without an EHCP, so it needs sorting now. Is she Year 5 or Year 6?

@mynameisnotmichaelcaine she has a very extensive ehcp
sounds ridiculous I know
she did get ehcp on medical grounds BUT gradually over the years the EHCP has become more about her other needs than medical
we have
OT / Physio / speech and language.
on the waiting list for CAHMS.
the community paed will not even entertain the idea that something else is going on.
she is in year 5.

I literally cannot comprehend how a community paediatrician can claim that it's absolutely ok for a child with no SEN to be unable to write or take part in PE at ten years old. It doesn't make any sense.

Have you started looking at local secondary schools? It's worth a look now to see what is out there that will meet her needs.

As for hobbies, DS and I do a lot of visits to local art galleries and museums. He enjoys these trips out, and has picked up a fair amount of knowledge along the way. He has an inset day on Friday and we're planning a day out to see the Museum of the Moon, which is currently close by, and a lunch out.

Hi

@mynameisnotmichaelcaine she says it’s all medical trauma.
now she does have quite severe medical needs however the person who actually did her refferal for ASD was her specialist consultant and he says she is basically talking crap as he has Multiple patients with her condition and none of which he has felt the need to refer and it doesn’t effect cognitive abilities.’

This in spades

She sounds absolutely dreadful OP. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

Is there a process for appealing the Community Paeds decision? Or can you pay privately for an assessment?
Is there a support group of charity that can help you advocate for your daughter?

What you are describing sounds like DCD or Dyspraxia, my daughter who is 8 has just been diagnosed. Your description could be her but there is help and she is improving. She can’t hold a pencil well, kick a ball, can’t cope with loud class rooms or assembly. There is help, occupational therapy has helped my daughter so much. I hope you get the help and support you need