To call the smallest bedroom the box room ??

[WouldyouThink]

Because SIL has had a huge rant at me that I’m wrong to do so ??!!

I have a 4 bed house , The smallest room has a king size bed, wardrobe and 2 slim chest of drawers. We had been having a conversation and she said how they struggle for space I said ‘same for us especially with having the box room as our bedroom!’ Her face just froze and she told me I’m ‘entitled’ that they have a 3 bed where their smallest only fits a single bed and bedside cabinet in and how I’m privileged and she thought I’d be more aware and sensitive to others situations and not making out Im struggling for space too!!

I call it the box room but am I meant to say the smallest bedroom? I thought box room just meant smallest really ? She’s told dh in a text that she just can’t deal with us at the moment when they are struggling and we are competing ???

I don’t think you’re entitled to mistake a smallest room for a box room - sounds like an honest mistake. I think the problem came when you commiserated that you were struggling too, in what sounds like an extremely large house. There comes a point when it’s not ‘all relative’.

We really aren’t doing better

You obviously are better off for physical space.

Dc need the space, 2 years ago dss (10 and 12) came to live with us so we swapped into the smallest room so they could have what was our room

In our box room I have my desk, and a chest of drawers, nothing else would fit.

Sorry @StoatofDisarray i didn’t mean to quote you but the poster who asked why we are in the smallest room

I’ll say smallest room from now on !

You got “box room” wrong which sounds like a genuine mistake. But it’s very odd that you suggested that you’re short on space because your bedroom only fits a king size bed, two chests of drawers and a wardrobe!

A box room is a room on the verge of being (or is actually!) too small to fit a single bed in - so only useful for putting boxes / travel trunks in.

A king size bedroom is not a box room. It sounds like your smallest bedroom is bigger than any of the rooms in my house. I couldn't even fit that amount of furniture in my living room!

I can see why she's upset if they are really struggling for space, and she feels that you've basically gone, oh yeah, us too, our huge rooms just aren't big enough!

My parent's house has a box room. The staircase goes up through it, so there is a literally box taking up the room with the stairs underneath it.

It could fit a single bed and a side stand... with no floor space.

One definition is having the "box" for rhe stairs in it. Another being for keeping boxes in.

A double bedroom isn't a box room.

If they have no mortgage, and you don't own your house, I can't see why she thinks you are trying to lord it over her 😳

This is just a silly misunderstanding.

Your smallest room is definitely not a box room OP. I can understand your SIL thinking you were insensitive although it sounds like an over-reaction (are they struggling more than you realise?). However, if you genuinely thought box room meant smallest bedroom then there's no ill intent or competing. Simply tell her you didn't realise and meant no offence. If she can't get over it still that's her problem.

You’re using the term box room wrong.

it’s only a box room if it just about fits a single bed.

if you can fit a double bed in it, it’s no longer a box room. If you can fit a king size bed!!!! In it then it’s DEFINITELY not a box room

Yes!!!! Mine had the boxes in stairs at the foot of my single bed!!

A box room is a small bedroom, your room definitely isn't small.

That was their original purpose; storing "boxes" (trunks) and other luggage.
They weren't intended for use as bedrooms.

Your box room sounds about as big as our main bedroom 🤣 our box room on the other hand, has a cot (not a cot bed because that was too big), and a bespoke changing table and wardrobe in it (as standard ones were too big). There's just enough space in the middle of the room to turn round from the changing table to the cot.

So, to put it simply, you absolutely don't have a 'box' room. 🤣

A box room is a small room that was used for storage and they're usually found in houses 100+ years old. You couldn't fit a small single bed in my box room and be able to close the door. It isn't even considered a bedroom by estate agents for this reason.

The room I grew up in was small but could fit a single bed and a small wardrobe with a little floor space, but even that wasn't a box room.

A box room only fits a single bed. If you can get a double bed in against the wall, let alone bigger, then it's no longer a box room.

It's obviously just as mistaken term on your part and there was really no need for her to rant at you for it. The term box room comes from Victorian times and was a room in large houses used to store the steamer trunks/boxes. Not an appropriate usage on your part but not done with malice so she shouldn't have had such a go at you.

Saying you were struggling for space in a king sized room was insensitive. If you needed more room in the bedroom you could sleep in a double.

I mean tbh you came across possibly a bit... dismissive?

Her:
"Oh were struggling with space with the kids in the box room"

You:
"Oh gosh I know, we can only fit in a king size in our room, it's so SMALL!! I don't know how I sleep in there with the walls pressing in around us. I mean imagine there's the wardrobe and drawers too but gosh, it's so hard. Thank goodness we have three larger bedrooms so the children have a little space to move..."

I'd say her reaction indicates that this isn't the first time she's struggling and you've waived your comparative wealth at her and said oh yes, me too!!!

You are quite wrong IMHO. A box room is usually used for storage and doesn't usually have a window but it might have a skylight. It is not counted as a bedroom though some folk might use it as a nursery for a baby.

She was offended by your description affecting her own discomfort with the differences between you.
its not a box room by traditional sizing but you weren’t displaying “entitled” behaviour

If you'd mentioned sleeping in the box room and she'd said but your room is huge, and you'd said oh well yes but it's the smallest, is that always called the box room? then I'd say it was just a naming error.

But she's obv got a child sleeping in the box with inadequate space for their stuff and you're complaining comparatively about only being able to fit in a king size bed and several pieces of furniture

Yes two of your kids share a room and hers don't. But one is in a tiny box, and all of your children are in huge rooms. Which will also mean unless it's two stories of just bedrooms that there's more space on the living areas too.

It's a bit like her saying the sole has fallen off her shoe and you saying yes I know, my diamond slippers are too tight.