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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

My friend has told me I have no idea about babies.

85 replies

gotabunintheoven · 09/03/2008 16:37

I am expecting my first baby, a boy, in 8 weeks time.

I am very decided about how things are going to be when he arrives. I will be breastfeeding, he will be going into his own room from day 1 as I don't believe that babies should turn our lives upside down in the way people let them.

I also am very sure about how my son will be brought up. He will not be allowed to watch television, will not be allowed to have anything with sugar in it such as cake or chocolate and the only toys he will be allowed to have will be educational ones.

I have had a huge argument with my friend about this. She has said that I will never be able to stop my child from watching tv or eating chocolate, and has even said there's a chance I might not be able to breastfeed as it's not always possible.

Thing is, I've read all the books and I know that breast is best and I also know that television and chocolate are damaging so he won't be having any of them.

OP posts:

cece · 09/03/2008 16:39

Are you serious?

motherinferior · 09/03/2008 16:39

You're joking, right?

Niecie · 09/03/2008 16:40

I think you are in for a big surprise.

Fine to think like that but not to tell somebody who knows better and has experience that they are wrong.

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 09/03/2008 16:40

I wish you luck in the world if you are truly thinking this is how it is going to be.

If you don't want your child to change your life, why are you having him?

liahgen · 09/03/2008 16:40

studies show that the safest place for a newborn to sleep is in the same room as his parents.

davidtennantsmistress · 09/03/2008 16:40

ah to be innocent about things again!

u read the books - baby hasn't!

Carmenere · 09/03/2008 16:40

Oh fgs this is another one of those 'cods' challenge trolls.

mumeeee · 09/03/2008 16:41

Babies do turn you lives upside down. You will see this when you have your baby.
You have read all the books but Babies can't read!

Niecie · 09/03/2008 16:41

If this is for real, and lets just say it is, if you want to do things by the book your baby should be in with you until it is at least 6 months old.

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 09/03/2008 16:41

What is the point of them?

beaniesteve · 09/03/2008 16:41

erm... I am very much like you. I wouldn't want my children to watch Videos constantly, I won't be letting them have sugar etc.

However, as far as having a newborn in the house and sticking to bedtime routines goes I think you should be prepared to change your mind or at least be flexible. Having a babies is a hugely life-changing event and it WILL turn your life upside down. This is another human being that you will be looking after for years, the first few months if not years will be so alien nto you and will make your life so different that sometimes you will not know if you are coming or going.

Cut your friend some slack. Does she have babies? It is possible that she is talking frm experience and although maybe the way she spoke to you was rude I think she does have a point and perhaps you should adopt the 'I'm prepared to be proven wrong' attitude.

Blandmum · 09/03/2008 16:42

I said I'd never let my kids watch TV, or eat chocolate, with time I mellowed. I have two very happy, healthy kids.

The best advice for motherhood is to have high standards for your child, but also to leave yourself some wriggle room.

The world will not end if your child has a chocolate button, there will be times when you are an excellent mother, sometimes so-so, and sometimes substandard! the reason being that you are only human. Expect perfection from your self and you will be setting yourself up for a fall.

Good luck for the arrival and keep on posting!

TurkeyLurkey · 09/03/2008 16:43

This has got to be a Cod wind-up.

If its not, why don't you get a Baby Annabell doll instead? Far more convenient.

artichokes · 09/03/2008 16:43

Your friend is being rather OTT but her basic point maybe valid. By entering parenthood with such set ideals you are setting yourself up for a very hard time.

There is nothing wrong with having ideas about what is best for a child, but until you have had one it is pretty hard to know what is best. Maybe you will live up to all your dieals, but in doing so you may find yourself sonstantly stressed and at odds with your LO - IMO that would be worse then letting him have the occassional taste of sugar.

Your friend may also have felt you were criticisng her parenting by saying you would never copy it. Were you possible a little insensitive in the way you presented your views?

Finally, having your baby sleep in your oom reduced the chance of cot death, it is NHS guidance for a very good reason.

MaloryTowers · 09/03/2008 16:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyOfWaffle · 09/03/2008 16:43

Phew, I didn't want to be the first " this is a joke, right?" person. If this isn't another wind up thread, you will be suprised how things change once you have a baby. I always said DS would not be exposed to junk food and drink, but at 23 months he has had pretty much everything - it's cruel to have a can of coke (for morning sickness in my case) and say no to them having a sip... silly to start telling people not to give him a biscuit when we are round peoples houses, sometimes you just have to kinda let it go. Definatly if you aim to never give junk/sweets etc. and then end up giving them very occasionally, that's a realistic expectation IMO.

beaniesteve · 09/03/2008 16:43

please... what is COD?

aGalChangedHerName · 09/03/2008 16:43

This is a wind up right??? Hope it is for your sake!!

jennifersofia · 09/03/2008 16:44

Well, I was vastly determined to bf only, and did with my first but it really was the most difficult thing I have done. We got through it, and was happy that we did, but in retrospect I got so nuts and stubborn about it I think I would have been a better and happier mummy if I had relaxed my point of view and considered mixed feeding.
Fwiw, we don't have a telly and we don't eat masses of chocolate either, but I do think that it is very dangerous to say 'I will never...' in the parenting game.

kittywise · 09/03/2008 16:44

Yep, troll for sure, ha, ha

beaniesteve · 09/03/2008 16:45

omg - I would not give a small child coke though !

artichokes · 09/03/2008 16:45

If this is another MN Challenge thread then can I just say - they are really annoying and IMO rather undermine the ethos of MN.

TurkeyLurkey · 09/03/2008 16:45

Cod set a challenge to get a load of answers on a thread..can't remember the specifics but since she did it there's been loads of wind ups..think this is one...

LadyOfWaffle · 09/03/2008 16:45

And soon you shall be tapping 614 into your remote as fast as your fingers will allow! And discover the new depths of relief when you discover tiny pop goes on past 7pm.

OracleInaCoracle · 09/03/2008 16:46

who's that on my bridge?

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