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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

My friend has told me I have no idea about babies.

85 replies

gotabunintheoven · 09/03/2008 16:37

I am expecting my first baby, a boy, in 8 weeks time.

I am very decided about how things are going to be when he arrives. I will be breastfeeding, he will be going into his own room from day 1 as I don't believe that babies should turn our lives upside down in the way people let them.

I also am very sure about how my son will be brought up. He will not be allowed to watch television, will not be allowed to have anything with sugar in it such as cake or chocolate and the only toys he will be allowed to have will be educational ones.

I have had a huge argument with my friend about this. She has said that I will never be able to stop my child from watching tv or eating chocolate, and has even said there's a chance I might not be able to breastfeed as it's not always possible.

Thing is, I've read all the books and I know that breast is best and I also know that television and chocolate are damaging so he won't be having any of them.

OP posts:

EiWishFor3MoreWishes · 10/03/2008 14:13

this HAS to be a wind up as as far i i know nobody is that naive sorry if it is actually a real thread but you have to get real...
xx ei xx

Mamazon · 10/03/2008 14:14

think we have Cod's latest challenge winner

VictorianSqualor · 10/03/2008 14:19

If it's real, not that I really give two hoots either way, it's just another thread for me to put my perfect opinions on I'd say.

Firstly, baby in it's own room increases the risk of SIDS, so think about it carefully.

Secondly, we'll see about chocolate and Tv when it comes.

Good luck.

alicet · 10/03/2008 14:32

Only read OP and have to say this sounds like a wind up.

However if its not I would say theres nothing wrong with thinking you know how you will bring up your baby. However you don't have a clue how you will feel until he is here. I also felt very strongly that ds1 would be in his own room from day 1. That was until neither dh or I had any sleep at all until 7am on the first night out of hospital and only managed a couple of hours then becasue we brought him into out bed. Where he then slept for the first 6 weeks.

Keep an open mind. Or you are setting yourself up for a fall. Nothing wrong with your plans - it is your choice not your friend's how you briung your dc up. But keep an open mind - you can't possibly know how your dc will turn your world upside down and challenge everything you previously thought until you are actually holding him / her in your arms.

dingdong05 · 10/03/2008 15:08

I was pretty much the same before baby, but now completely side with your friend!
Now, bf, limited tv and sugar are great, and getting sturdy toys that s/he can learn from is also great. However, putting baby in her own room and telling him/her that s/he will not be ruling the roost won't really work imo. For a start s/he will need fed every 2 hours in the early weeks- and that has nothing to do with whether or not you are strict enough, and everything to do with the fact that s/he can't hold enough food to go on any longer. After a week of little sleep your life will be turned upside own whether you like it or not!
That's not to say a good routine won't pay dividends a couple of months later...

Ags · 10/03/2008 15:15

Hijack!

I am increasingly amazed at the number of threads I have read recently that have the 'cod challenge' finger pointed at them. What is going on? Can someone explain why there is so much mistrust on these boards at the moment as I seriously don't understand. It makes me worry that if the op is genuine, they go away feeling completely rubbish.

It is perfectly positive for people to feel like the op pre children. She has completely opposite views to me but I accept the fact that her views are possible and I accept her right to hold those views too.

gingernutlover · 10/03/2008 16:30

lol at this, i REALLY was this naive!

didnt last long

and probably why i had PND

dd is at this moment watching tv while eating chocolate ha ha

Willowwisp · 10/03/2008 21:31

Hmmmmm .......... hope this is a wind up, BUT if its not I will have to have my say!!!

I truly hope you do succeed with the the BF as your right, 'breast is best' BUT do what the other girls have suggested see a BF counsellor as soon as your baby is born, I had the same views as you on BF and it didn't go according to my 'plans', I ended up a sniveling wreck who missed the best bits of the first three weeks of my DD life because I became 'consumed' with being the perfect breast feeder!

The advice is to keep your baby in your room for the first 6 months, but its your choice if you put him in his own room, but tramping across a cold landing at 2am is not my idea of fun, when you can just reach over and get him if he is next to you!

No sugar, again your choice but a difficult one to deal with when all the other kids are having cake at the parties etc!!

All toys are educational! My daughter will play with a piece of paper for ages and think it brilliant! A baby will find anything you give them fascinating, chill a bit!!

'Yes my name is Iggle Piggle, Iggle Piggle Iggle Wiggle Woo!!! I sing it in my sleep and believe me when you have a bored baby, TV is a lifesaver in moderation!

Can't wait for you to post again in three months ..... wonder if your opinions will have changed!!

Good Luck anyway!!

LittleBella · 10/03/2008 21:40

LOL at this.

God knows what books you've been reading if you think increasing your baby's chance of SIDS by putting him or her in their own room from day 1 is a good idea.

But of course you're a troll. (What's the Cod challenge? Spot the troll or something?)

MotherFunk · 10/03/2008 21:50

Message withdrawn

tori32 · 10/03/2008 22:12

Sorry I know you think your friend is being unreasonable but welcome to parenthood. She is right. You will not beable to prevent bab/child watching TV indefinately- only limit it. Same with chocolate- not good if they have it every day, but fine as the odd treat and teeth well brushed after. If you totally deny it then your child will crave it more when they get to school age when all their friends have it.

If you want to breastfeed and want it to work well, then rooming in for at least a few weeks until it gets established is recommended. I had your view on baby going straight into its own room with dd1 but it made breastfeeding more difficult. I am now pg with dc2 and will room in for longer.

I am also a CM and believe me, that giving children just educational toys restricts their debelopment by stifling their imagination, they need to have fun and learn much more than alphabet, numbers, colours and shapes etc.

Sorry this will not be what you want to hear but it is reality.

Kitti · 12/03/2008 17:45

I was adament I wanted to breastfeed but I really couldn't get the hang of it without dissolving into floods of tears and made to feel a total failure by the hospital midwives - however if you manage all that you intend then good luck to you. It's all worth a shot but just don't get too down if every perfect idea you have doesn't qute work out as you had hoped.

SammyC · 12/03/2008 17:52

This has to be a wind up! To put a baby in to its own room straight away is so silly, read the fsids web site and educate yourself please.

SammyC · 12/03/2008 17:52

This has to be a wind up! To put a baby in to its own room straight away is so silly, read the fsids web site and educate yourself please.

loopylou6 · 12/03/2008 18:16

ohhh dear another keyboard rambo, how silly, as if any parent would put a new baby in a room alone from day one and banning tv and sweets is just cruel (unless theres a medical reason) everything is fine in moderation

theressomethingaboutmarie · 13/03/2008 08:21

Ha - we all think similar thoughts prior to having our babies but then reality bites you quite fiercely on the bum. I pop my 6 month old in front of the TV for twenty minutes here and there to give me a break to say, go to the loo, do some laundry, eat, drink etc. I generally put cbeebies on or a Baby Einstein DVD so she's not watching total crap.

Great intentions but reality bites!

duchesse · 13/03/2008 08:28

Everybody always has very firm ideas on how to bring up their children...until they have them.

Real life is not like our imagined life though, and real children are nothing like imagined children.

I am thinking you will be issuing a heartfelt apology to your friend within 18 months.

BigTeuchLittleTeuch · 13/03/2008 08:28

For someone who obviously feels very strongly about this, she disappeared pretty damn quick!!

edam · 13/03/2008 08:34

Maybe we scared her off with our tales of what life with a baby is really like? Or maybe she's just pissed off that no-one agreed with her. Daft mare.

monkeytrousers · 13/03/2008 08:34

PMSL at OP.

Is she ex-army, do you think?

duchesse · 13/03/2008 08:40

It is of course her only posting on MN, ever...

warthog · 13/03/2008 08:45

ahahahahahaha

i'd love to come and visit you in 2 years time.

Bouncingturtle · 13/03/2008 08:55

I had no idea what sort of parenting I was going to do - joining MN warned me about the foolhardiness of pre-conceived ideas of how to bring up the PFB. I still don't - I'm content to take each day as it comes. I do get stressed and anxious at times, what new parent doesn't? But by keeping an open mind I find my PFB brings me a lot of joy as we discover together what works best for the both of us.

Kitti · 14/03/2008 12:18

Oh Baby Einstein videos were a lifesaver for me with my 3rd. She cried constantly unless one of those was on the tv. I think we wore the tapes out in the first 6 months!! As it happens she's not that fuessed about tv (probably watches far more than she should but it's usually background noise most of the time).

MrsMacaroon · 14/03/2008 13:18

gullible

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