To ask what you do if you pay for your children's education

[Satonmytuffet]

DH thinks we can afford to send our children to private school starting from pre-prep all the way until university. I disagree. Neither of us went to private schools but DH went to Oxford many years ago now and feels that private school is the best way to go. I would agree if I thought we could afford it but I don't think we can. DH is a solicitor. I am at a crossroads in my career and I am looking to move into something where it would ultimately give me a 6 figure salary but I just feel like people who do send their kids to private schools are much much more well off than we are. Our combined household income is £175k and we live in London.

We currently have one DC but we hope to have another 2 children, or at least 1 more if things don't go to plan. That would ultimately mean yearly fees of £90k at the most.

If all your children are privately educated what sort of jobs do you do? Does generational wealth come into play?

Our combined income is not far off (slightly less) and we're planning to send DS next year but that's for upper primary and secondary (he's 9) and DD will follow for secondary 5 years later. We're in Scotland where fees are less (£12k a year for primary at the moment) though. I think we'd struggle to put both all the way through on London fees but then it depends what other outgoings you have.

I should add we have relatively normal jobs - no grandparents to help fund; it'll be from income.

You need to look at outgoings and local fees, not just income!

Your housing costs are the elephant in the room here. If you have a large mortgage you can’t do 2 or 3 kids in private school at the same time on that income, unless you have reliable bonuses to put aside to cover fees.

It's not about what you do or what you earn Iin simplistic terms. You need to work out your own budget based on what your expenditure is, looking at someone else's income is meaningless

We are both senior teachers and DH has an excellent 'package' which adds up to about 120k in value. We only have 1 dc. DH and I have been together since we were 19 and only ever talked about having 1, neither of us wanted more, so we didn't stop at 1 to be able to afford private school. That said, DS has many opportunities (a very expensive sport as well as a spot in a public school) that we could never have afforded for 2.

You probably need to think forward to what you want to be able to offer your children and then decide how many to have depending on the cost of that. Of course, if you think being one of 3 is the most important opportunity, then just choose that regardless of what else has to be cut from the budget.

Kindly, on a joint income of £175k your DH is either still a trainee solicitor or doing mostly legal aid or conveyancing work. It’s not a lot for a solicitor in London.

You may think that prep fees are manageable but they go up every year as the children get older and obviously senior school fees will be north of £20k per child per year - this out of taxed income and after all other expenses (and not only the essentials: how much “lifestyle” spending are you prepared to sacrifice?). Also bear in mind the looming VAT charge that will happen after the next election if (when) Labour gets in.

We educated 2 kinds privately from nursery to 6th form and always had an income at least twice yours (also law)

You might consider setting up a savings vehicle with the aim of growth so that senior school fees can be covered. In our experience paying for Nursery/Prep was (in hindsight) a luxury as we had perfectly good state provision locally. Senior school is where the real differential occurs and more worthwhile paying for.

I have 2 x DC in private (London day school), one Y10 and one Y7. Both started in Reception (all through school). I work in investment banking, DH was a currency trader when DC started, he’s no longer trading, but still in a City job. We’re late 40’s/early 50’s so had the benefit of the big banking bonuses back in the day, so we do have good cash savings and minimal mortgage.

DD has a 25% sports scholarship, we’d have really struggled without that - especially when fees go up 20% with VAT added. I think your income could support one through private, anymore would be a stretch.

Are you partners? DH was in private practice but went in house in September. Salary is significantly lower but bonus potential of 100+% - we don't know yet what that will look like as he's only just started and I'm pessimistic.

I did it for two children from 4-18 on an income which was considerably less than yours, and with no family help. But it was a non-negotiable for me, so I had to find less conventional ways to do it.

If you really want to do it, you can. If you're not that bothered, it's harder.

BTW, being at an independent school is now a positive disadvantage in terms of Oxbridge applications.

My eldest will start next year, and I have three DC (plus am pregnant with number four) who will all go to private school.

I am a SAHM with a private income and DH is a senior civil servant. We don’t live in London though, and don’t have a mortgage.

It is really difficult to say whether you can afford it without knowing your outgoings, particularly mortgage. If it’s tight, I wouldn’t bother with pre prep.

Joint income £135k. DH is senior manager in big Pharma, I'm a regional manager in education. However we only have 1DC, chose state primary to enable us to save for private secondary and live in the North so low mortgage etc.

If I were you I’d buy in an area with good state schools and therefore have the money to support the DC with extra curricular activities. Best of both worlds.

To pay 90k of fees, you’ll need about 180k of salary. I guess only you can decide whether you can live on your salary and DH can put all of his (and a bit more) to school fees, and still give your kids and yourselves the life you want.

We are solicitor and psychologist. Joint income (mostly DH’s drawings) was 520k last year. We’ve only had 2 years of all 3 at private school, it’s generally only been one or two, because we’ve also used grammar schools/ local primaries. When he was a junior partner (on 150 or so) DFIL helped with fees.

I know there’s no way we’d have afforded the fees (even for 2) on 175k. At least, not as well as affording the other things we value (travel, cultural stuff, pets, a nice house etc.) But your lifestyle, housing costs and family situation might be different.

We have 1 DC and currently trying for another. DC is at a private prep, and the hope is that their sibling will join. HOWEVER I'm a teacher at the same school, so get a hefty fee discount, my husband works in insurance, our combined income is just over £110k, both in our early thirties. Our plan is to privately educate our children into secondary, but that is reliant on myself managing to maintain said hefty discount, it wouldn't be viable for us to send both children to private school without it.

Save those bonuses!! As others have said secondary is where paying for school makes the difference so you have time

On your current salary I would say you can afford to put one in private education as long as you have a small mortgage.

We have a joint income of £185k and can only afford to send one but that’s because we have a tiny mortgage (around £1.5k pm). DD5 is in reception and all in the school fees are £2k a month.

I’m the solicitor and I’m on £150k.

We are in London and have a joint income of around £120 - 150k depending on bonuses/ freelance income.

We have 3DC at a combination of state and private depending on what was right at each stage for each child.

There is no way we could afford to send even one child private with a London mortgage unless we made massive sacrifices to our lifestyle (and we are hardly extravagent). We are very fortunate that GPs cover fees for us and we pay all extras. Ultimately - that will probably be my entire inheritance though.

You can probably afford it if you stick at 1. You cannot possibly afford it if you have 3 children, unless you have significant family money behind you.

I’m a hospital consultant, we have a similar household income to you, also in London. Private schools locally are £25k per year. For three children, you’d be spending £75k per year on fees. We are not hard up in any way, but we do not have £6k per month spare to spend on school fees! We send DS to state (and he is doing well, no complaints).

I do have colleagues with multiple primary-aged children in private school, but the common denominator is that they are not paying the fees themselves, the grandparents are.

We have a net income of £134k and send two. One to Prep and one to Seniors. Our fees are about £30k a year for both.
we have a tiny mortgage £700pm! we will be upsizing in the next 24 months. School fees have gone up 6% one year then 8% the following year! I will post you a very useful spreadsheet. We have savings and occasional Grandparent gifts probably about £2-£3k a year that we use for their extra-curricular out of school.

DH is a Junior Partner. I run my own sales business.

I should say DH could get about £15k net bonus and I prior to taking my salary/dividend make sure I put a lot into my pension.

DH and I are both teachers. DS attends my school. His fee discount will increase as he goes through school but our fees aren't comparable to those in London in thr first place. Our combined income is much lower than yours. We live out in the country, though, so it's fine.
If DS gets through the entrance requirements for our senior school, he'll stay at his independent school throughout. If he doesn't, he'll most likely go to our local grammar school or one of the other independent schools around. We'll see. His current school is the best fit for our family at the moment.

We have 1 child in private education. Fees are currently £18k per year then I’d say we spend another £1k on extra curricular, trips, music lessons etc. Our combined income is around £150k and we have no inheritance/help from family. We’re not in London though (I’m from London but we were completely priced out) and now live in a commutable city where we bought a decent house for £500k so our mortgage is nothing like London prices. We’re in the precarious situation of paying the fees from our income (i.e. we don’t have a back up fund) but for us it’s totally worth it.

We have one dc in prep and another due to start in a couple of years. Planning to send both private from 4-18. Joint income is £490k, DH works in tech and I run a business. We're in London and our housing costs are high (house in zone 2). No family help. We have some significant investments (raised through savings, not gifted).

I think some state primaries in London are excellent and if I wasn't averse to living further out then I'd seriously consider buying in the catchment of one of the top primaries (by which I mean well within the furthest distance offered) and ideally also in catchment of a top secondary (ideally comp so it only depends on distance, and co-ed if you have different seats or dc aren't all born yet). There are only a few places in London that are in the sweet spot of both though, and those locations didn't appeal to us. But with a bigger family and lower family income it would make more sense than going private.

I earn much less than you do but I saved for a decade before they were born, and continuously ever since.