To ask what you do if you pay for your children's education

[Satonmytuffet]

DH thinks we can afford to send our children to private school starting from pre-prep all the way until university. I disagree. Neither of us went to private schools but DH went to Oxford many years ago now and feels that private school is the best way to go. I would agree if I thought we could afford it but I don't think we can. DH is a solicitor. I am at a crossroads in my career and I am looking to move into something where it would ultimately give me a 6 figure salary but I just feel like people who do send their kids to private schools are much much more well off than we are. Our combined household income is £175k and we live in London.

We currently have one DC but we hope to have another 2 children, or at least 1 more if things don't go to plan. That would ultimately mean yearly fees of £90k at the most.

If all your children are privately educated what sort of jobs do you do? Does generational wealth come into play?

I see the value in the private system but surely fees as they are in the English system just aren’t sustainable when decreasing numbers of families can afford it?

When I was at private secondary in the South East in the 80’s parents included GP’s, Farmers, mid to high rank Armed Services, Vets, small town solicitors etc etc. This type of professional couldn’t even dream of funding a similar education out of taxed income these days - hence reliance on grandparents and inheritance and from the schools’ perspective heavy reliance on foreign students Who pay a premium. So the market has been shrinking for decades - it really is the realm of City bankers and partners in large law and accountancy practices, self made entrepreneurs and footballers Certainly in London and the south east

I don’t think self funders are a minority, we would rather give our kids the education over the inheritance. We are also children of immigrants and don’t expect to inherit much at all. No GP trust funds! Just got to hope we can keep on working! We had only the two so we could do this.

Oh amazing, thank you!

Or… knowing exactly what the subject of the thread is from the title, you could just scroll on by if you think you’ll be offended by the content?

OP, my DH is in tech and earns roughly 250k p/a. We send 4 kids to an independent in the SW of England. We don’t have a mortgage.

You do know you don't have to read .

I didn't see any obscene wealth on here. It is not a stealth brag - people should be able to get advice from people in similar situations about their children's education.

I avoid things that don't interest me or too combative such as the feminism boards , trying to concieve (as my youngest is 17!), I avoid anything that triggers me- you sound super triggered by this, not sure how your comment is helpful to OP or anyone actually!

We sent our child to private school. No one else in our ‘circle’ did and EVERYONE wanted to know how we could afford it.

We didn’t move up a house when our friends did, we didn’t have new cars, holidays, clothes. I’m very low maintenance so very seldom went to the hairdressers etc.

My husband did overtime and I did a weekend cleaning job as well as my full time job. The biggest thing was that we only had one child. I knew straight from the off that I wanted my child to go to private school and was prepared for the sacrifice. It was absolutely worth every penny.

No family money. Our joint income is c150k. Plan to send both our children to private school. We are hopefully joint income will be more like c200k when they are both in school.

2 kids at private school- pre-prep, prep and now senior school year 9 and 11

Combined income £350k, surgeon with reasonable private practice and high ranking officer

As you are at a career crossroads would you consider teaching? Teaching in the independent sector usually offers significant discounted fees and would allow you to spend holidays with your children, as you mention wanting to be there for them. Otherwise you will both be working extremely long hours to earn the money to pay the fees.

We are in Surrey. Household income around £290k / £300 k only one child. Fees around £18-20k per year. Wouldn't be able to do it comfortably if we had 2 DC I don't think

Maybe a silly question but discounted fees only in the school you are teaching in, right?

Sometimes I think about relocating to the middle east for some tax free income while DC is still young. But then the stuff in the news always puts me off.

Can you afford to start saving now? As PPs have said it really depends on your mortgage and other outgoings. I pay for my DS through share bonuses that I received in my old job and a good few years ago set up an investment plan to cover the last few years of school. That's now going to pay a bit towards uni as DS has part scholarship at current school. The earlier you set up the investment plan the better the returns as it's a long term thing.
Also depends on location as London privates are expensive!

We will need to sit and fine comb our finances.

Wrt investment plans do you mean saving in a high interest account/investing in stocks and shares?

Stocks and shares mostly. My financial advisor helped find something that gave reasonable stable returns rather than something high risk as I really couldn't afford to lose the initial capital and take big risks. The good thing is if you start early enough then even putting a small amount aside every month will reap returns over the long term but you need to be thinking at least 5+ years and ideally longer. At least that has worked out for me.

This isn’t my experience. My brother and I went to 3 different private schools between us and they didn’t give a shit about how good anyone was at sport. My school didn’t have its own sports ground and was really supportive of SEN. I doubt i’ll ever be able to afford private school but I would hope my son would be fine with his academic skills and not be held back just because he has hypermobility.

OP, this was obv years ago my but my dad owned is own import business and paid for our fees. My mum was a teacher.

I’m guessing things are a lot more expensive in London but something i’ve noticed is that the current private school fees for the school I went to are are pretty much the same as the nursery fees I pay for my son, in year 7 and 8. However, as others have said, the fees then go up each year (plus inflation), so I’d be priced out, and definitely wouldn’t be able to afford more than 1 child.

I work in a private school in the finance department. Yes the discounts are only for staff (all staff not just teachers) at our school, we are not connected to other private schools so we do not give discounts to people working in other schools. 😊

This is where these private school threads become a bit ridiculous. After fees you'd still be left with £200k a year salary? Or maybe slightly less with tax? And that's not enough to live? Lifestyle is a HUGE factor in these discussions. We can afford private school for 2 DC on a joint salary about half of the one quoted here. But we have one car, a 'normal' house, one holiday in France a year etc...

Our income is about £150k living in suburbs. We currently send both to private primary at a cost of around 26k a year. When you add in all of our other costs, it’s tight. We don’t have much left over for fun things. We are intending to move to the state system for secondary, we are in a grammar school area and are hoping our eldest will get in there.

For what it’s worth your husband’s assumption that private school is the best route to Oxbridge is false - it is widely reported now that red brick universities are favouring non private school applicants.

Yes, but many prep schools have tie ins with other schools. I teach at a prep school in Scotland where I get 80% fee discount, but we have a few large senior private schools near us who offer us the same discount at their school. I honestly don't know how long this 'perk' will last, so it's my intention to try and get a job in a 5-18 private school to ensure my child's education.

There are private school fees and private school fees. £60k a year vs £18k a year for senior school. At junior level it's cheaper. If you send your dc to pre prep at a cheaper end it's doable. By the time you have 2-3 what will you be earning?

£60k boarding for 2-3 kids? Not a chance unless you are in the very highest earner group. That's 7 figures

We privately educated our 3. From Y5, Y4 & Y7 respectively.

They finish in Y12 in Aus. A total of 23 years of fees at an average of $30k per year.

So $690,000.00 over a 14 year period - c.49000 a year.

We are broke beyond measure. Literally haven't got 2 cents to rub together. We earn well but this is a huge and consistent amount of money to hand out each month.

A few things to consider - once you do it for one it becomes harder not to do it for all of your children.

Knowing what I know now, I would probably still choose the same path. I would have started all three in Y7 though.

Dd1 has just started nursery in private school, and all being well, will stay there until 18. With her sister following her in 2 years. The fees in nursery are £10k for the year, and they increase approx £1k a term to reception, years 1-6 and years 7-13.

I am a SAHM & DH has family money, previously as shares in the family company. When they sold the company, they have chosen to make a family investment company as well as private investments. And we live off the return.

We don't live a flashy lifestyle, budget well within our means to ensure that the girls will also benefit from the family money post school.

It's a really good question... I don't know.
My parents were pretty much how you describe yourself and your DH - just normal and stretched to pay fees.

If I think about people I know anecdotally.

Trust funders I know all have a few generations at least (there are millions compounding in interest)
Our neighbours have 2 DC who had an inheritance from the GPs which paid out almost £1m to each child. They both bought houses outright so 30 and mortgage free in London! Neither of DC or partners work in highly paid industrys - 30-50k max) The parents live in a 1.5m house and live quite well so are paying for the private prep school for the 2 X GC. So potentially the money can be recycled once via GPs house for Great GC then after that is gone?

I think it is already close to unattainable for people without asserts/family resources. We earn WELL (like top 2% or something and have pretty much decided against it.

Work at the school, 50% discount, not great salary but most holidays off, I do term time plus 2 weeks.
My son at a different school paying full fee, my husband is a chartered accountant and covers his fees.