Grown ups don't have 'best friends'

106 replies

BlackWhiteWhatNow · 25/10/2023 14:47

I have a friend who constantly refers to her 'best friend' and every time she does it I feel like she reminding me of where I am in the heirarchy, i.e. middling to bottom. AIBU that grown ups don't have 'best friends' and if they do they don't refer to them as such when they are with other, not so best friends?? It's really annoying me and not sure if IABU

OP posts:

Catza · 26/10/2023 08:33

BlackWhiteWhatNow · 26/10/2023 07:57

Seems like most people who think IABU have best friends and refer to them as such.

Others feel referring to 'bestie' might make other friends reassess how much they like the person who clearly think they are second best, especially if 'bestie' lives far away and second best is a person they see day to day.

This friend of mine always asks me to reiterate how much I love her and how we will be friends forever, while emphasising that I am not the best. I find this rude.

I agree with posters that think it's fine that people do like each other less and more and consider some the best, but stating it out loud is sometimes rude and hurtful depending on the audience.

asking you to reiterate how much you love her is actually a far more problematic behaviour. I would question the friendship on that basis alone to be honest.

Gymmum82 · 26/10/2023 10:35

DontListenToWhatYouveConsumed · 25/10/2023 15:36

I definitely have a best mate. We've known each other most of our lives.
I'm struggling with the fact she's dying. We were supposed to grow really old together and cause mischief in the old peeps home .

I’m so sorry, my best friend also has incurable cancer, she’s unlikely to make her 40th birthday. It’s absolutely devastating.

Superscientist · 26/10/2023 10:43

Through out my life I have only ever had 1 best friend. It has changed with situations but only ever 1 at a time

Of course adults can have a best friend. For me a best friend is one that the majority of the time is there for you when you need them and like wise you for them. It doesn't matter if you spoke yesterday or 4 months ago time feels the same
You don't have to hide your crazy with them or any other "flaws" they love you as you are

booksandbrooks · 26/10/2023 10:45

I think perhaps people don't like it if they don't have one?

You don't have to buy split in two jewellery from Claire's you know? Though I might do that now for a laugh.

Lastchancechica · 26/10/2023 16:07

booksandbrooks · 26/10/2023 10:45

I think perhaps people don't like it if they don't have one?

You don't have to buy split in two jewellery from Claire's you know? Though I might do that now for a laugh.

I have a close friend of 45 years, I would not dream of calling her my best friend! I am not five years old any longer and I can afford my own shiny patent shoes these days 😂😇🥿

ExTheCheater · 26/10/2023 16:43

We do have best friends. I only refer to mine as 'my best friend' to my partner. I wouldn't say that infront of other friends that does sound rude.

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