Wife's employment

[Father1]

I'm expecting a tonne of abuse here simply because I'm male.

My wife has been an excellent administrator (data entry and other routine simple admin) for 20 years. Early 40s, our child is a preschooler. She did a bit of sales early in her twenties.

I've strong work ethic, have worked hard and had a pay rise every year of my working life and I do alright, though listening to you lot I earn a fraction of all your £200k salaries.

Anyway, that doesn't mean I'm not feeling the pressure with the cost of living crisis, mortgage increases etc.

What is out there, what industries, what jobs are out there for someone who has no formal qualifications after GCSE, maths isn't a strength, is an excellent people person, has two decades of life behind her and pays alright? Better than a low level administrator? What is out there that she could try her hand at without previous industry experience?

I know she would love more money and not to rely on me so much.

I'm not expecting her to change jobs for a couple of years until our child is in school but I would like your take on it so perhaps to understand options / help her move up in the world.

This tbh.

I don't think its real either.

I bloody well hope not.

If not, I would advise the op that either he or his poor wife, regardless of what fantastic career she may or may not end up with, are still going to have to work around the school hours.

Lets be honest - its not going to be OP.

I'm a level 6 qualified careers adviser - here's what I think your wife should do

whatever she wants to do - hth

This, my first thought was she doesn't have/doesn't want her own account.
First thing - does she want to change jobs? If yes, no problem in this post. No? yes, the husband is overstepping.

Man saunters onto Mumsnet, intentionally lights a fuse and then sits back to laugh at all the women getting their knickers in a twist. Don’t engage!

Au contraire. Idiot saunters onto MN, posts a wind-up, sparks a lovely, supportive and interesting discussion.

OP can LOL in his mum's spare room. No skin off my nose.

We can only go on what has been said. There's no indication of input or opinion of hers in the post.

We can't be expected to use our imagination and guess, so if any of those things are true it's still his fault, for not providing that information

Does she want to change jobs?

Who takes on the mental load in your house? Who does the housework? Shopping lists? Kids clothes and dentist appointments? Etc etc. Usually it's women so if she doesn't want extra stress because she has the stress of the mental load that's more than reasonable.

Women are also paid less than men.

It's a conversation to have with your wife in any case not an internet forum

I'm expecting a tonne of abuse here simply because I'm male

Dear god 🙄

It’s not just the ‘you’re all horrible to me opening’ that’s the problem here.

The whole post screams making decisions in behalf of his property wife and not even considering asking her what she wants. Or, indeed, letting her seek her own career advice if she wants any.

I’m tempted to remind him to be careful what he wishes for. With the level of general superiority and contempt he’s demonstrating, there’s a risk that his wife may find herself more financially independent and realise that she could further improve her life by getting rid of a husband who thinks he’s in charge of her. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why should we help you with that attitude?? 😵‍💫 bizarre approach for help.

We also have the right to remain silent if we don’t know the facts. But that wouldn’t be MN would it? Far more fun to attack a man.

Attack is a bit strong. But I could be very childish and say he started it....

Um, I am a bloke so you can't use that on me 🤔 Not liking the post or attitude expressed isn't sex/gender specific

Maybe direct that same energy towards OPs first line then, you wouldn’t want to be sexist, would you?

"Better than a low level administrator".

Hmm. You seem to have rather a low opinion of administrators, don't you? They're not all low level or unskilled, far from it, and I strongly suspect that you wouldn't have got anywhere near where you are today in your career without the considerable administrative support provided by other people in the organisation you work for.

By the way, have you noticed how having a child, taking maternity leave and then needing a job that fits in with childcare arrangements tends to fuck up women's careers? Because if you haven't noticed, then there's no helping you really.

I'm expecting a tonne of abuse here simply because I'm male.

Thats not the reason. Any ‘abuse’ is because you deserve it for sounding like an overbearing and pompous nobhead.

Does she even want to move jobs or are you trying to be the big boss man and push her?

If you are pushing her, as your comment about not expecting her to move for a couple of years seems to suggest, then you need to back off and stop being a twat.

If she wants to change jobs then I am sure she is capable of pursuing that herself, without you breathing down her neck. If she doesn't want to change and is happy as she is then bugger off and leave her alone.

If you tried to push me in a direction I didn't want to go in or wasn't ready for then you would get very short shrift indeed, whatever your apparent expectations.

Pull your head out of your arse.

I'm expecting a tonne of abuse here simply because I'm male.

why did you keep on typing after that?

I'm expecting a tonne of abuse here simply because I'm male.

Well bugger off to somewhere where you feel males are more welcome then!

Presumably your wife is capable enough of posting here if she wants advice for herself?