What is this new form of slobdom?

[Theokaycokey]

Staying at a seaside resort in the UK. Large Hotel has a massive open atrium that is overlooked by hotel rooms and anyone walking along the promenade. The hotel restaurant is located smack bang in the middle of the atrium and is open to the reception area. I come down to breakfast this morning and a significant number of guests are sat in their pyjamas having their breakfast! Different families, all scattered around the restaurant or queuing at the breakfast buffet in their nightwear and fluffy slippers. This is the first time that I have come across this. Is it a relatively recent phenomenon?

@CoffeeCantata

I do love a post that ends with "so there"! 😁

reminds me of Japan. We got pyjamas / lounge clothes (I really liked the yukata) and these were definitely not just intended to wear to bes.

but even if that was in a British (or otherwise European) hotel…
I have never seen what the OP is describing… but still, how does it matter?

wear the trousers you wore the yesterday. Or your pyjama. Or a freshly laundered outfit. It’s all good in my book.

@ManateeFair

And I don't see why someone having breakfast in pyjamas they've worn over night is somehow less hygienic than someone eating dinner in clothes they've worn all day.

Yep, it’s such an illogical position to take.

It’s ok to go out all day sightseeing or whatever, sweating in your clothes, getting all the secretions that the human body produces in them for hours, going into multiple public bathrooms, touching hand rails on busses, sitting on dirty trains or in dirty taxis, brushing past all sorts of people, walking over dog wee and traces of dog poo on the pavement… then come back to the hotel and have dinner in those clothes and shoes-

but pyjamas and slippers that have only been in the hotel room are disgusting?

Sitting here in my PJs after getting up. No shower yet because I'll shower just before I go out.

The other thing with disabled and chronically ill people doing it - the more other people do it as well, the more normal and socially acceptable it becomes which is only BETTER for disabled people because it makes them less "othered"

Hey - keep your pj pants on, Father Jack!! No need to be p-a.

I disagree. I sometimes deliberately give my response to an OP in order NOT to be swayed by what other pps have already said. Sorry if you don't like that, but I think it's sometimes the best thing to do. Yes - we are all different!

You're of course free to do so - but when you yourself acknowledge that you're probably repeating what a hundred people have already opined, it's hardly going to be a highly-prized nugget of wisdom that the OP was desperately waiting for, is it?

As for you comment upthread about people in pjs 'not giving you a thought' - well, exactly! That's my issue with these self-centred, inconsiderate people. If in a public space you definitely do need to give other people a thought.

I think you're confusing 'not giving you a thought' with 'deliberately trying to offend you'. Most people are strangers to you, living their lives and expecting you to live yours. They also have no way of knowing what any particular stranger's personal preferences are, even if they are eager to please everybody at the expense of their own comforts.

Whilst you may be sitting there in your smart casual day clothes, criticising people who've come down in their PJs, what about somebody else in a finely tailored business suit who is equally criticising you for not making an effort in public, in their opinion?

So there.

Are you 5?!

That would actually be my personal concern.

if I were to wear my pyjama for breakfast (shopping etc)… would I also wear them the following night to bed? Or need new pyjamas every evening?

now that seems a bit icky to me. But seeing as these people won’t be sleeping my bed…

on the other hand: I went to the ER yesterday night and definitely went to bed wearing the same clothes this morning (lounge wear). I was unable to move, getting changed was therefore nothing but a fantasy…

So who am I to judge🤷‍♀️

I thought I was bad when I used to walk my dog at weekends with a top and jogging bottoms thrown on over my PJs. No-one would ever have known, though, the PJs were well hidden.

I did it mainly so that I could just take off one layer of clothes and go back to bed afterwards with the weekend papers (and my hangover).

The slippers bit is mystifying, unless the poor dog just gets a pavement walk instead of the park or woods or something. If I'd walked the dog in my slippers, they'd have been clagged up with mud and sheep shit, sometimes horse shit as well.

disabled/chronic pain/spoonie here.

There are days, like yesterday, when i can get up, make all the effort to dress nice, do my hair/make-up, go out with friends/have lunch..etc

And there are days like today, where i have woken up in a ridiculous (and frankly downright rude) amount of pain, don't have the spoons to even dress, and have shuffled down the stairs after taking 2hrs to muster the energy to get out of bed.. and i will sit/lay on my sofa and barely move all day in the same pjs i put on last night.

I'll attempt to put fresh on before bed tonight, but i can't promise that either.

If i were in a hotel, i wouldn't be wasting my 'spoons' on dressing to please some rando i might have to eat in the same room with, just getting to the breakfast room and back to the hotel room would be spoons enough... mind you maybe the fact i'd be using a walking stick and hanging on to my BF for dear life while he got me to a seat and sorted food out for me would give me some sympathy.

Yep, more disabled than your gran. Or differently disabled.

Are all blond people the same? What about all tall people? People with blue eyes?!

Yep being disabled is shit. So is your ignorance. So is your attitude.

No it's not just you. I don't want to be eating breakfast looking at someone's pyjamas unless it is in my own home.

Anywhere that does permit it isn't somewhere I'd want to stay.

"If you are well enough to go on holiday"

There speaks the ignorance of someone who's never had a fluctuating disability.

Did you just sliiiiide right past my post to be rude, or not even bother reading it?

To recap.
Yesterday, i was up, dressed, hair done, fancy clothes, lunching with my bestie.
Today i'm paying for it, and can barely move, let alone dress.

But gee, guess i ought never go on holiday in case i have a day like today and upset the breakfast room snobs.

@PhantomUnicorn

If i were in a hotel, i wouldn't be wasting my 'spoons' on dressing to please some rando i might have to eat in the same room with, just getting to the breakfast room and back to the hotel room would be spoons enough... mind you maybe the fact i'd be using a walking stick and hanging on to my BF for dear life while he got me to a seat and sorted food out for me would give me some sympathy

sadly it would give you some sympathy- I’m the ‘right’ kind of disabled- conventionally attractive, thin, nice clothes, expensive hair and makeup, no learning disabilities, RP accent, highly educated etc - people fall over themselves not to look like a dick by being rude to the poor wheelchair lady, it’s such a shame, such a pretty girl, such a fabulous wheelchair, it least I’m not one of those really disabled disabled people, so brave to be out and about, doing so well etc.

But on here where people are faced with the reality of disability without seeing all the surface level stuff to mitigate its appearance, everyone feels free to be a dick.

The finest in ignorant fucking bollocks. Someone give @Clarabe1 a medal.

I would feel pretty judgemental tbh.
It's childish and disrespectful.
And parts of comments on this thread are gross.

Read up thread that this is in Brighton and so not very surprised. It's become really pretty disgusting in parts, and I wouldn't be back in a hurry OP. Unless you can get a booking at the Grand!

I've always been taught it's rude and disrespectful to judge people and to stare at them

Yet seems like that's perfectly OK here

Yes - I've worked with a lot of older/very elderly people (not wealthy or privileged - far from it) and their standards are usually very high. They were brought up to consider others. But respect for others starts with self-respect, I guess!

This is exactly what the massive problem was for generations. A lot of older people - women especially - were socialised to ONLY consider others and to ignore their own needs or wants, which were considered wholly irrelevant.

Often this was socially enforced through the fear of shame and criticism if they didn't - much like is happening right now on this thread.

You would be considered such a disgraceful, filthy slut (old-fashioned meaning of the word) if your doorstep wasn't sparkling or your net curtains had lost their perfect whiteness. Never mind how much you might be struggling with pain, children, hardship, worries or any other life struggles that folk outside couldn't see; superfluous appearances that the outside judges could see were all that mattered.

Ah this is funny!

If I stay at the waldorf or equal - I can wear as i like. they tend to be fine with it!

anyone with proper money does not get upset about this stuff.

if i can afford the suite, i can wear what i like - within reason obvs!

Im in hysterics over the hotel things! It just shows maybe you arent as classy as you think you are!

Amusing - cheers

Fanny wafts aside, there's quite a lot of both-sides-are-simultaneously-true stuff going on here, and most of it is to do with perception and association rather than fact and reality. I reckon (no particular order)

• Most people get hotter and clammier during the night - that is a reality. For those who don't shower in the morning, this will dissipate as you air yourself (and your fannies ) and dress and put on deodorant - and of course fanny wafts aren't a thing. But others who have to see you in your nightwear will have an association with a hot unwashed bodies, stubble, morning breath and clammy bits, and this association will be off-putting especially when eating.

• There's been a general loosening of uptightness over the last fifty years or so, and it's very good that some arbitrary formalities have been rejected. But this loosening has coincided with (and is somewhat allied to) a general increase in self-centredness and a kind of contempt for the idea of consideration for others over the fulfilment of individual desires. Many people are genuinely concerned about this social shift and see it at the heart of some quite worrying societal tides (populism, I'm-all-right-Jack, 'benefit scroungers' rightwingery, general thuggery). So signs that people don't care what others think, or whether their actions will have a wider impact - however trivial in themselves - can feel alarming (even if we don't ourselves make the connection in the moment).
• Other people are just out and out snobs and look for Them and Us signifiers
• Still others quite liked the pleasures of formality - the excitement of dressing up to go to dinner etc - and are sad that this is fading and life is becoming more 'one-note' and homogenous.

• I understand why disabled people might find the negative comments here upsetting. At the same time, since no sane or decent person would urge disabled people to 'make more of an effort', I'd be worried about a society which cannot discuss this or any other issue because of exceptions to the rule. On the one hand it's irrational (the greatest good for the greatest number etc); and on the other no good generally comes to societies which repress whole areas of thought. This must be hard if you are one of the exceptions and feel besmirched by the general brush - but a mature society has often to make difficult decisions which rest on the lesser of two evils.

• I think social media and the drive towards constant self-surveillance/publicisation/revelation has almost entirely broken down a centuries-old division between private and public in the space of just over twenty years - an astonishingly rapid social shift. I bet most of the people on the 'eww' side are my age (fifties) - those who are younger will perceive any criticism of, say, displaying bodies in public as a criticism of bodies per se as 'disgusting' and simply not understand that the meaning/value/'appropriateness' of a thing could change as you move from inside to outside the home.

It's all very interesting.

@WoollyBat there is a huge amount of difference between traditional Shalwar Kameez type suits or Japanese silk pajama like suits in quality silk and someone rocking up in a pair of baggy disney print sleep shorts and a vest that they have clearly slept in.

It is not about the clothes as such but more how they are designed and used.

For example jeans were originally workwear but there is a huge difference between clean, well designed fashion jeans and a pair of work soiled, low on the arse, ripped jeans and stained that have clearly been worn on a building site all day.

Yep- they weren’t brought up to respect other people, they were brought up to feel shamed by what other people thought of them.

There are still many shallow people who choose to think like that now- demonstrated here by the people insisting that DIRTY clothes and DIRTY bodies are more acceptable than CLEAN pyjamas and CLEAN bodies-

it doesn’t matter about the reality, only the appearance to other people.

@WinterDeWinter That is interesting I grew up fairly poor in a family that did a dirty manual job (livestock farming). My mum would have been mortified if any of us went out and about beyond the farm in our dirty work clothes and we banned from coming downstairs in our nightwear.