Christmas Leave 'I have kids'

[paintityellow]

Yes I know this comes up every year, but it's so bloody annoying. The Christmas leave list went around in September, with it being specified that priority for Christmas Day would be given to people who worked it last year.
Despite this we now have a couple of people really trying to pressure others to give up Christmas Day because 'I have kids'. One of these women has had the last 3 Christmas Days off, the other's kids are teenagers. One of the people they're trying to pressure wants to fly home to spend Christmas day with her parents, Another has no family in the area so also wants to travel home for Christmas. Both worked last year.
AIBU to find this attitude infuriating?

I’d suggest you ask but accept a no. And then arrange for a job that gives everyone else Xmas off.

Youre a mum but I’m also a woman. And I want Xmas off for once. Let’s be honest… when your kids are teens none of you will do it for people with young kids..

that’s the Gen X Millenial divide.

😇🙄

My dad was a vicar so literally not one single christmas off. ever
Hrumph

What a dreadful colleague. I’m so sorry for your loss.

Additionally hospitality staff - some people go out to eat for Christmas. It might not be everyone’s cup of tea but many families or friends do have Christmas dinners in restaurants and hotels . Me and my friends went out to a hotel restaurant for Christmas a few years ago in Portugal.

And there’s a lot of people staying in hotels, often due to visiting. Taxi drivers to get the staff and customers who don’t drive to where they need to get to. So many people need to work at Christmas for good reason.

Well quite. I am grateful to all the other people like me who have worked Christmases in order to keep the country functioning. Some people would happily take women of childbearing age out of the workforce full-stop!

YANBU.

But I do think it's slightly self-perpetuating. Some parents of young children might feel like they worked Christmas in the past so that parents didn't have to, so now it's "their turn". I'm not saying that's right, and it's obviously not fair on everyone, I'm just saying I can imagine people thinking it.

Hypothetically, I do also think it's reasonable when it's a single parent or the other parent also works shifts. I mean, there is no childcare available on Christmas Day, so since you just can't leave a young child alone, it becomes non-negotiable. I'm aware that's not their colleagues' issue to solve, but if someone has no other option, they have no other option.

I'm glad I've never had any job in a place that required Christmas Day working, it sounds very stressful for everyone involved.

No it's avoiding one with self care being forced to be alone watching others on TV etc because some parent gets priority could cause the shift why do you refuse to understand do you have issues understanding mental health?

I’ll give you accountants, but some lawyers are needed - what if someone’s arrested on Christmas Day; they’d be entitled to legal representation, wouldn’t they?

many people have suggested sensible solutions like each employee doing one year on, one off, or Christmas leave rotating around the workforce. That’s fair. What you’re suggesting is not.

@Sheerdetermination you very much insinuated compassion.

Why should I be obliged to share details of my personal life with all and sundry? A better system would be to treat everyone equally regardless of their fertility.

Or do you think the fact you are LUCKY enough to be a parent means I should consistently have my nose rubbed in it? Have you thought about that when you get every bloody day to be a parent and others don't?

@Theduckquacked , we have a similar system at our workplace.

I've worked there since '98. Before I had kids, I worked 24th, 25th, 26th, 31st and 1st. Long days. After I had kids (and before ex left and my parents died), I would still work most of these (or whatever they rostered me for/told me to work). I did have 2006 and 2013 off (Mat leave). In 2007 I went to the US (I'd got permission to book this in the Feb of that year, as my grandmother was ill - good job I did see her then, she died the following summer). After XH left and my parents died, it was a bit more difficult. I was on my own and DC were too young to be left at home alone (and XH couldn't have them unsupervised), so I didn't have a huge amount of choice if other family weren't around to watch DC. 5yrs on and I'm able to go back to doing normal shifts during school hols (assuming my eldest is around to watch my youngest). I've told my manager I would work whatever she rostered me to work. I do think people (including parents of small kids) should be flexible when possible to make it fair for all.

My job involves shifts, including working Christmas, the years I was rostered on we did Christmas another day as we were not particularly religious. Shift pattern changes meant with the exception of my youngest first Christmas where I was maternity and started back on the 27th the next Christmas Day off she was 12 years. Due to staffing shortages I’ll probably have to work this year when I should be off but hopefully next year we will be back up to strength. I don’t mind people asking, I do mind people insisting they should be off

But it's not just about your needs is it? If someone had an elderly and ill parent, likely to die within the year, surely the needs of their child wanting to spend a last Christmas with them come into it? That's just one example, there are plenty of others. Actually, there doesn't even need to be a reason - everyone is entitled to their turn having time off at Christmas if they want to. The world doesn't owe you simply because you have kids!

There are some incredibly selfish people on here. You choose to have kids and a job which might require you to work on Christmas Day, then you suck it up and take turns with everyone else.

ive worked shifts for 22 years, for the past 10 i've had 2 christmas's off!. i knew when i took the job what it entailed... but! now my kids are adults, i'd happily work christmas to allow parents christmas with young children have the day off as its my wedding anniversary new years eve and i prefer that day off now anyways

It's strange though isn't it I work with children and parents happily chuck their children in on birthdays even when they are off themselves, they happily go for me time holidays leaving children in childcare and relatives but one whiff of Christmas and the same child becomes so precious or is it the perfect I need time off excuse?

Look everyone. If you want Xmas day with your kids it’s YOUR responsibility to find one. It is never ours to give up our family for you.

If you can’t do that that’s on you. YOU have ruined Xmas. Not your colleagues who want to fly home. Not me who wants to travel 400 miles to see my dying godmother. YOU.

You, the mother, chose that job knowing that was a possibility. Stop expecting compassion from colleagues. You picked that job.

Do Your job or quit or find another. I’ll happily cover on a random day, over summer, on your kids play, for a hospital appt. But you don’t get every Xmas day for 14 years. Especially because we younger millenials/early Gen Z know you won’t do the same for us. Be honest. You won’t. We see it.

I feel SO lucky. IVF dc here. Never a day passes where I don’t thank my lucky stars. You’ll think I’m being smug, but I’m not.

Christmas means different things to everyone. In my opinion, no one has the right to say their Christmas plans trump anyone else's or are more important- it should be fair.
My company is closed over Christmas. However, I was always happy to be flexible with summer leave for colleagues with young children if I didn't have anything already booked. The moment someone expected me to cover for them was the time I refused. Ask by all means but don't presume you are entitled to it.
Maybe harsh but people should work in jobs/ work hours that suit their lifestyles/ family life etc rather than presume people will work around them. If you can't get to work until 10am and have to leave at 3 because you have to drop off and pick up the kids, then speak to your boss about a flexible contract, work part-time hours, speak to your colleagues about swapping hours etc- don't just presume that because you have kids you are magically entitled to have people working to cover for you without even asking!
Rant over.
(And yes I do have kids, they are two of the most important people in my life but I don't expect them to be the most important people in anyone else's life!)

You view treating employees differently based on their use or non use of their uterus as normal?

I am sure an employment tribunal will rule differently.

That's what's getting me reading this thread. The it's-all-about-little-kids-and-Santa is so much commercialism. Buy! Buy! Buy! Not one hint of what Christmas means and celebrates. (And no, I'm not a practicing Christian and don't bother with the day at all - the commercialism put me off years ago, same as Easter and Hallowe'en.)

@Sheerdetermination and I'm very aware that ivf iOS hard to say the least.

I'm honestly glad that it worked for you, really I am. Why does that make your needs more important or worthwhile than mine?

Why the 2 and 3 year olds wouldn't even know what day Christmas is without being told? Does Brian living on his own and not seeing anyone change things? What happens if one of them has run off leaving the other abandoned and lonely? Do we have to put in written requests justifying the extenuating circumstances for receiving equal treatment?

We’ll never see eye to eye on this. Good night.

Don't forget MN ers tend to think once your children are adults you have no claim on their time and are bat shit crazy to want to be with them....unless it's for free childcare of course.