Page 30 | Christmas Leave 'I have kids'

paintityellow · 2023-10-23T14:03:19+00:00

Yes I know this comes up every year, but it's so bloody annoying. The Christmas leave list went around in September, with it being specified that priority for Christmas Day would be given to people who worked it last year. Despite this we now have a couple of people really trying to pressure others to give up Christmas Day because 'I have kids'. One of these women has had the last 3 Christmas Days off, the other's kids are teenagers. One of the people they're trying to pressure wants to fly home to spend Christmas day with her parents, Another has no family in the area so also wants to travel home for Christmas. Both worked last year. AIBU to find this attitude infuriating?

LaurieStrode · 23/10/2023 21:37

At one of my longtime places of employment, in the late 1990s into the oughts, the policy was that leave requests had to be made by March 1 for the rest of the year, and priority was given according to work tenure with the firm, within one's department. Marital/reproductive status irrelevant.

As a newcomer I worked many a Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and other holidays (we were a 24/7 operation), missing out on events with my family, including the last Christmas Eve party at my grandmother's house before she had to go into care. It wasn't fun but I sucked it up like anyone else.

Then our unit got a new head, at about the same time a couple of bombastic men joined. They complained loudly that they needed Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off for the cheeeeeeldrun, and the new head, a soppy woman, tried to cajole those of us childfree to help Kevin and Brian out... after all they have cheeeeeldrun. It nearly caused a mutiny. All of us who year in, year out had quietly abided by the longtime rules went ballistic.

As it turned out that first year, she herself worked the days and let them off; it galled most of us to no end. The arrogance and entitlement, and dominating her passivity with their blustering personalities. Still makes me mad to think about it. Finally a higher-up manager told her to stick to the rules that were established long before her arrival.

FeverBeam · 23/10/2023 21:38

RosieGirl27 · 23/10/2023 21:35

Hmmm I get that but unless you book it off as annual leave then it’s fair game for any manager to allocate and most normal people will choose people with children

most 'normal' people.

Would you consider yourself to be normal'?

ChillysWaterBottle · 23/10/2023 21:38

tfresh · 23/10/2023 15:07

I personally would swap for someone with young kids, I wouldn't if they were teenagers. I know compassion is frowned upon on mumsnet though, so you do you op.

This.

Sheerdetermination · 23/10/2023 21:39

notlucreziaborgia · 23/10/2023 21:31

No one said you couldn’t 🤷🏻‍♀️

much like any childcare issues you may have, your thoughts on what is and isn’t ridiculous isn’t anyone else’s problem either.

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I’m sorry I don’t understand what you mean

ForfarFourEastFifeFive · 23/10/2023 21:39

RosieGirl27 · 23/10/2023 21:35

Hmmm I get that but unless you book it off as annual leave then it’s fair game for any manager to allocate and most normal people will choose people with children

I really, really hope nobody has made you a manager.

JollyJolene · 23/10/2023 21:40

As a child, I remember having to wait for my mum to come home from work Christmas Day before opening presents. Sometimes she’d work Christmas Eve night as so would come home for present opening and then go to bed.

I wish people had showed her the same compassion she showed years later, when she would work the shite shifts so those with young children got to spend Christmas with their children. As adults, we got used to having ‘Christmas Day’ on a day mum was free. Sometimes Christmas Eve, sometimes Boxing Day or 27th.

Simplepimplechrimple · 23/10/2023 21:40

Children are a lifestyle choice. Working a job with Christmas working is also a lifestyle choice. If you want Christmas off with your children then there are plenty of jobs where this is standard. If you choose to work a job which needs cover then you need to take your turn. I find it sad so many adults seem to think Christmas is only for children.

CrabbiesGingerBeer · 23/10/2023 21:40

Sheerdetermination · 23/10/2023 21:33

I’m not saying that, no. But personally, I’d always put a child’s needs above my own as an adult.

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I will absolutely make a random child’s needs a priority.

I just have no idea why that comment may be even vaguely relevant to an adult thinking they should get to spend every Christmas with their children while their childless co-workers pick up their slack.

A child doesn’t need a parent at home for Christmas as multiple parents who aren’t completely selfish and lacking in compassion for their childless colleagues (or at all as far as I can tell) have already pointed out.

Sheerdetermination · 23/10/2023 21:41

Parker231 · 23/10/2023 21:31

Why is it not fair to treat employees equally?

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Because people have different needs and situations. Only some employees are granted flexible working, for example. Someone with a disability might need reasonable adjustments to be made. Equal does not always 🟰 fair

RosieGirl27 · 23/10/2023 21:42

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Parker231 · 23/10/2023 21:42

RosieGirl27 · 23/10/2023 21:35

Hmmm I get that but unless you book it off as annual leave then it’s fair game for any manager to allocate and most normal people will choose people with children

When I approve annual leave requests I, as a fair employer, don’t consider whether they have children. I base it on whether they worked last Christmas or not.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 23/10/2023 21:42

Insommmmnia · 23/10/2023 21:35

I absolutely put a child's needs first, my nephews.

It's just weirdly you seem to think I should put someone else's child's needs above my nephews

And I think that's bonkers quite frankly

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Same! I'd be thrilled working with the PP, she'd be covering Christmas so we could be with our nephews! What a good egg!

Sheerdetermination · 23/10/2023 21:43

CrabbiesGingerBeer · 23/10/2023 21:40

I will absolutely make a random child’s needs a priority.

I just have no idea why that comment may be even vaguely relevant to an adult thinking they should get to spend every Christmas with their children while their childless co-workers pick up their slack.

A child doesn’t need a parent at home for Christmas as multiple parents who aren’t completely selfish and lacking in compassion for their childless colleagues (or at all as far as I can tell) have already pointed out.

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Then that’s how were different. Take all sorts.

Tryingtokeepgoing · 23/10/2023 21:43

Acornsoup · 23/10/2023 21:31

@Tryingtokeepgoing that's not inclusive. You would have to do that to all of the faith based holidays.

You really wouldn’t, because each company could set the premium days that impacted their business, which might or might not be a faith based holidays of any denomination. Perhaps they’d chose a week in August as a premium week ;)

JenniferBooth · 23/10/2023 21:43

@HunterHearstHelmsley Me too. Ive always found New Year really depressing.

LuluBlakey1 · 23/10/2023 21:43

RosieGirl27 · 23/10/2023 21:24

No not at all but I just think it’s ridiculous that grown adults care more about Christmas than children I’m not a fan of it but my children are before I had kids I worked it and wasn’t bothered but I can’t quite contemplate grown adults being more excited about a holiday that’s primarily aimed at children unless they have religious beliefs 😂

Perhaps they are simply looking forward to some peace and quiet after working the horrible build up to Christmas.

starrylights · 23/10/2023 21:43

LuluBlakey1 · 23/10/2023 20:47

So:
Hospitality:pubs, hotels, restaurants, some takeaways
Some petrol stations- there are never any near us open on Christmas Day
Some corner shops- again many are closed
Air port - again reduced staffing
Roadside recovery - reduced staffing
Highways - reduced staffing
Journalism- must be skeleton staff
Some pharmacies- skeleton staff in a few pharmacies
Animal care
Vicars- I would have thought they'd want to given it's about the biggest church attendance of the year.
Taxi drivers

Apart from hospitality we're not talking large numbers in any of these. They're not huge employers. There must be more than this given the size of the issue every year on mumsnet. What else ?

I can't see why most of these can't just close apart from animal care, the occasional pharmacy, taxis, roadside recovery and vicars.
We don't need newspapers that day, or flights, or petrol stations, takeaways, corner shops or pubs- it's one day a year. Personally, I wouldn't be allowing hospitality to open apart from hotel rooms.

You have forgot social care workers, a massive group of people working 24/7. Very little in terms of enhancements too.

RosieGirl27 · 23/10/2023 21:44

I am a supervisor at my shittyretail job but only because I am mostly a sthm 😂

redeyedcat · 23/10/2023 21:44

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Tense old lady bullshit?

Maybe you should look up the definition of internalised misogyny. You will be an 'old lady' too one day.

FeverBeam · 23/10/2023 21:45

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what's the degree? what's the university?

HunterHearstHelmsley · 23/10/2023 21:45

RosieGirl27 · 23/10/2023 21:35

Hmmm I get that but unless you book it off as annual leave then it’s fair game for any manager to allocate and most normal people will choose people with children

I have approved one lot of Christmas leave so far. It is for a childfree woman. All of her family live abroad. I have approved it ahead of anyone else's. Most normal people wouldn't want her to spend Christmas alone.

AllegroConMoto · 23/10/2023 21:45

Sheerdetermination · 23/10/2023 21:41

Because people have different needs and situations. Only some employees are granted flexible working, for example. Someone with a disability might need reasonable adjustments to be made. Equal does not always 🟰 fair

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All employees can request flexible working, though, and I suspect if an employer only granted it to parents they’d quickly find themselves at the wrong end of an employment tribunal.

Sheerdetermination · 23/10/2023 21:45

JollyJolene · 23/10/2023 21:40

As a child, I remember having to wait for my mum to come home from work Christmas Day before opening presents. Sometimes she’d work Christmas Eve night as so would come home for present opening and then go to bed.

I wish people had showed her the same compassion she showed years later, when she would work the shite shifts so those with young children got to spend Christmas with their children. As adults, we got used to having ‘Christmas Day’ on a day mum was free. Sometimes Christmas Eve, sometimes Boxing Day or 27th.

What a nice person your mum sounds

ForfarFourEastFifeFive · 23/10/2023 21:45

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Then educational standards have clearly dropped significantly since this old lady was at university.

And clearly having a first hasn’t given you the wit to work out how to quote the person to whom you wish to reply. Which is a shameful waste.

orangecandles · 23/10/2023 21:45

I used to have this when I worked in retail. Not Xmas day but Xmas eve and Boxing Day.

I always remember one year a girl I worked with managed to get out of all her Christmas shifts became it was the first Christmas without her grandma who recently passed and she was still grieving. She used to cry and cry and we all ended up buying her flowers....because we were soft vulnerable twats.

I turned up at her house (I knew where she lived) with a bouquet of flowers after just finishing the Xmas eve shift that she should on worked only to find said grandma sat in her kitchen drinking mulled wine.

Apparently we all got it wrong...it was her husbands grandma who died. She failed to mention that.

Her husband was also South African with no family living over here.