In my experience of the French people that I have met, I have come across a lot of racism, from the majority of them.

[sillyme563]

There I said it. I have been married to my French husband now for ten years. I am Muslim and asian.

In the last ten years, I have never heard so much racism as I have in my entire life. Blatant, horrible, disgusting racism - most of it against either black people or Arabs/ Muslims.

'I would never go to South Africa. The safari experience would be good but I don't like black people'
'Gracie's Corner will spoil my child'
'Hijab wearing women are backwards'

ad infinitum.

I just spent the weekend with a couple of our friends from Paris. We walk past two girls in a hijab - cue obligatory conversation about how hijab wearing is wrong. I have to put up with these kinds of comments constantly, from his family and friends, and it's just sad because I have nieces who wear the hijab, and I can't invite them to things where the French are going to be there. I am getting so sick and tired of it, and I just don't have the inclination to be some sort of racial-social justice warrior to argue with all these nasty comments.

You are who you hang with.

I’d be reassessing the marriage. If he can’t see his racism while being married while married to you he never will.

I used to live in Paris and agree with you. Have you seen those experiments that looked at the serious prejudice against people with foreign names in recruitment? My old boss used to boast that he could hire developers with lots of experience very cheaply just because they had North African names so no one else would take them on.

Yabu to judge 68 millions of people on the actions of one person and his friends / family.

What does your husband do/say when these things are said? If he doesn't challenge them then he's part of the problem.

YABU because the French aren’t one monolithic entity.

That said, as a French person with an Algerian ExH and half Algerian DDs, yes some people are racist, and more openly than in the UK I think.

I won’t get into the hijab debate because I don’t have all day!

Actually my husband doesn't really engage in the conversations and himself doesn't say racist things - he's actually fine in this. It's more the majority of the people I have met through him.

By saying that all French people are racist are you not being as bad as your friends?

If he isn't actively challenging their beliefs, and just ignoring the issue, he isn't being a very good husband to you. Either he feels that way himself, or he doesn't think you are important enough to be worth taking a stand.

The comment about black people is 100% wrong. The hijab debate is a lot more controversial though.

Well, a fish rots from the head. French policies in recent years haven't helped and yes, in comparison to the UK they're not particularly moderate. Having said that, I'm well aware that however 'inclusive' the UK's policies are, there is still very much Islamophobia and both overt and subtle racism and prejudice. Emboldened by Brexit, it has to be said. But to label the whole French population as racist is a little ironic and also seems somewhat xenophobic.

Exactly. It's stuff like this. All the time.

Not recent. I’ve always experienced racism and sexism when visiting France as an Indian Hindu woman. There is also a lot of misogyny in France (Paris in particular) and so even if a white person isn’t racist - unless you’re drop dead gorgeous as a dark skinned woman you don’t count. It’s awful and why many Indian people in IT consultancies etc don’t want to live / work there if they have the option to go to the UK / Germany

It’s not just the French, lots of people are secretly racist. They may not say racist things but they - for example - reject anyone who isn’t white on online dating, favour the white candidate when hiring (particularly for a small/their business), have exclusively white friends etc.

There’s not much we can do about that.

It's the conflation of the two things that gets me. Of course people who would reject things because it would put them in proximity of a race they don't like is the epitome of racist behaviour and leaves no room for doubt, but hijab wearing isn't a race - it's a cultural and religious practice and it's not racist to discuss it and have an opinion.

So the Asian Muslim poster is actually racist against Asian Muslims? That's a novel spin on the "you've posted an OP on AIBU so you're obviously wrong" rule.

Is your racist thread title an attempt at irony?

Well, the French aren't a race either.

I agree. I don't believe the whole population is racist - maybe title should read, "in my experience of the French people that I have met, I have come across a lot of racism, from the majority of them."

The French people you hang out with are racist.

To assign that behaviour based on those individuals to an entire nation is errr....racist.

Yeh a bit

I’m French (raised in the uk) but all my family are there so I spend a lot of time there and I absolutely agree. My family aren’t racist - (my cousins there married someone from the Caribbean who lives in France and my dh was born in the UK but is of African heritage, I am also mixed although the only give away is my curly hair, I’m pale as Casper) and they adore them, but I have felt the racial tension alot. I think the French are more derogatory with their language also and very outspoken. But like anywhere it depends on the people/area.

this is what actually put me off moving the family to Paris.

Then he needs new friends.

Remember to be silent is to be complicit.

I’ve lived in France, as an asian muslim, and yes some are racist but not all. You can’t tar everyone with the same brush.

I think a lot of western countries are very racist when you scratch the surface. The French are very conformist as a society. It sets up a cultural argument that Islamic dress is somehow undermining Frenchness.

I think the Uk is probably equally racist but we give less of a shit about conformity. At least overtly.

Absolutely true.