Page 4 | Why would a happily married man be pursuing another woman?

TheShellBeach · 23/10/2023 00:09

Well that's rather scummy of him.

I'd keep out of his way, OP.

paintingvenice · 23/10/2023 00:10

To prove to himself he still can. I’d keep well away. It’s all about self validation.

bronkie · 23/10/2023 00:17

Different sex
Try out Pornhub type things
Feel good about himself
Bored
He's a c**t

NeunundneunzigHorseBallonz · 23/10/2023 00:18

Because he’s an egotistical cunt who has lost sight of the fact that his wife is a sentient being and not a series of functions to make his life easier for him.

Mothership4two · 23/10/2023 00:42

Lust

AmazingSnakeHead · 23/10/2023 00:50

What does he actually want to receive from this other woman that he surely cannot receive from his wife?

Sex with someone who isn't his wife.

Luckypom · 23/10/2023 01:05

@SunnyBunny17
Great sum up 👍

RedToothBrush · 23/10/2023 01:08

IlluminaLaminate · 22/10/2023 20:33

I am wondering about a married man I know. He is below 35, been with wife since university, married around five years ago. Seemingly unproblematic marriage, financially stable, planning holidays with wife and wife’s family in a few months.

Yet, despite all this is seeking another woman’s affections and wants this attention returned. Why would a seemingly happily married man with no obvious reason to be unhappy behave this way? What does he actually want to receive from this other woman that he surely cannot receive from his wife?

Because he can and he thinks he will get away with it.

NewName122 · 23/10/2023 02:09

He's not happy in his marriage obviously.

Ericaequites · 23/10/2023 02:25

Getting involved with people married to someone else only leads to trouble.

WandaWonder · 23/10/2023 03:00

How do you know he is happy? unless it is you? but the question is as old as time really for men or women but no one has to fall for it, he wants to cheat no has to sleep with him.

There is probably a million reasons why humans do anything, can any of the reasons for anything be simply answered?

FloofCloud · 23/10/2023 03:04

I think some people are addicted to 'the chase' and sone go further with the conquest - shitty behaviour

momonpurpose · 23/10/2023 03:45

WindowsSmindows · 22/10/2023 20:36

Some man you know wants sex from you and you've already put a layer of smokey romance over it.
What could he want?
Just sex that's all just a fuck.

Yep

LemonPeonies · 23/10/2023 04:50

Fear of missing out. He's been with the same woman since uni he probably feels like he's missed out on sowing his wild oats etc

Lampzade · 23/10/2023 05:06

Livelovebehappy · 22/10/2023 21:26

Because the marriage clearly isn’t as happy as you think it is. Happily married men don’t stray. You just don’t know what goes on behind closed doors.

It is a myth that happily married men don’t stray.
Some men will have the most wonderful wife who ticks every box and still cheat. This is because they are cheaters. It has nothing to do with the way they feel about their wives.

The same men would be devastated if their wives cheated

Jelllytot · 23/10/2023 05:07

Because he's a dick.

My brother works with a guy who has slept with about 7 different women (some of those women are intense who join their office) whilst with his long term girlfriend of something like 12 years. He keeps the fact that he has a girlfriend em very quiet until he sleeps with the woman and then says he can't pursue anything further because he has a long term girlfriend. It's weird. Maybe it's to do with the thrill of it?

Catsmere · 23/10/2023 05:08

He's probably a pornsick loser who wants to try out his sick fantasies.

Lampzade · 23/10/2023 05:10

SunnyBunny17 · 22/10/2023 23:32

Who said he's unhappy? He's doing this because he's a slag, that's all there is to it. Open and shut case.

Plenty of happily married men cheat on their wives but have zero feelings for the women they cheat with and absolutely no intention of ever leaving the wife.

It'll be a quick shag, a few If you're lucky, and then he'll do the slow fade whilst you drive yourself insane looking for hidden meaning in the text exchanges you had and convincing yourself that he was just so into you but can't be with you because of the kids, dog, house, etc.

You will romanticise and rewrite the whole thing into some star crossed lovers situation and become increasingly bitter towards his wife who is obviously the problem in all of this.

Eventually you will reach out to her, probably anonymously, and tell her about the affair. He'll tell her your mental or if bang to rights he'll cry and beg and tell her it meant nothing, which will be true.

She will stay with him, probably because of a sunk cost fallacy and the kids, dog, house..

He will go completely NC with you if he hadn't already and you'll spend months in a state of utter heartbreak as you try to get over him - still resenting the wife and convinced that if she'd have just fucked off or not threatened to "take the kids" he'd have left her in the first place and would be with you by now.

Meanwhile in his world - they work on their marriage and probably have some couples counselling then before long the marriage is back on track. Eventually, another gullible (presumably) young woman catches his eye and the cycle begins again.

He wouldn't come back to you though because you'd already served your purpose and proven yourself to be too much hard work, he only wanted a shag.. not an emotional woman pecking his head trying to get him to leave his wife.

Your self esteem will be crushed and you'll struggle to trust men because after all, you've seen how the "good ones" behave haven't you?

You have nothing to gain from this and everything to lose. Block, delete, move on.

Edited

This

Mummyoflittledragon · 23/10/2023 05:11

Jelllytot · 23/10/2023 05:07

Because he's a dick.

My brother works with a guy who has slept with about 7 different women (some of those women are intense who join their office) whilst with his long term girlfriend of something like 12 years. He keeps the fact that he has a girlfriend em very quiet until he sleeps with the woman and then says he can't pursue anything further because he has a long term girlfriend. It's weird. Maybe it's to do with the thrill of it?

Edited

Why is your brother and colleagues protecting him?

Nonplusultra · 23/10/2023 05:22

It’s rarely anything to do with the wife or the state of the marriage. It’s about the character of the man.

Many of them spin a poor me narrative about how their wife doesn’t understand them, etc. They still go home and sleep with their wives.

If he’s trying it on and not even bothering to make an effort to make the potential OW feel special, he’s probably deeply misogynist.

Picking a life partner is like betting on a horse. It’s hard to tell which horses will finish the race from the sidelines. And through no fault of your own you might be unlucky but it’s wise not to pick the lame one.

I think the more interesting question is why a woman might be drawn to such a proven loser.

WandaWonder · 23/10/2023 05:23

Jelllytot · 23/10/2023 05:07

Because he's a dick.

My brother works with a guy who has slept with about 7 different women (some of those women are intense who join their office) whilst with his long term girlfriend of something like 12 years. He keeps the fact that he has a girlfriend em very quiet until he sleeps with the woman and then says he can't pursue anything further because he has a long term girlfriend. It's weird. Maybe it's to do with the thrill of it?

Edited

Well he manages to find these women to sleep with him

frazzledasarock · 23/10/2023 05:38

What’s in it for him? Ask him.

I doubt very much he’s unhappily married. The men I know who have had affairs were not pleased when it was found out and their wives kicked them out, frantically trying to ‘save their marriages’.

You sound like you’re up for it OP.

What’s in it for you? To have sex with a married man with kids? Why do you want to consider someone with so much baggage and no morality and possibly a shedload of STD’s?

IDidntKnowMyOwnStrength · 23/10/2023 05:38

Because he just wants sex with someone else, anyone else, with zero commitments.
You are probably just one of a few he's thrown his hook out to, hoping some poor naive bugger will bite. If the shit were to hit the fan he wouldn't hesitate to choose his wife over you, you'd see a different side of him them. Don't go there.

strawberrysea · 23/10/2023 06:20

HenryCavillsWife · 22/10/2023 21:05

Loads of men marry women they’re not in love with. The woman is usually the one moving the relationship into the next stage - living together, then marriage, then babies. The men go along to get along.

Frim the outside they seem happy. They’re stable and usually doing ok financially. Inside the marriage, the woman isn’t happy, calm or relaxed. She knows something’s wrong but can”t put her finger on what.

Then the man meets someone he’s genuinely keen on.

Bingo

EnjoythemoneyJane · 23/10/2023 06:37

I mean … are you really such a sweet summer child that you can’t possibly imagine why people cheat?

Or is this a ‘what, lil old me?’ bit of disingenuousness while you wait to be given a list of all the wonderful ways in which you might be special and different from his wife?

Do you think he might be ‘in love’ with you, OP? Spoiler alert: he’s not.