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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wether you breastfeed or formula feed.

114 replies

Cowlover89 · 22/10/2023 19:42

I want no arguments. Just a nice debate. Let off some steam. Basically lighthearted.

Tell me things that annoy you. I'll go first. When you state in a post what you are going to do. And say what you're not going to do. You still get comments to just do it. I stated that I will not be adding formula this time. Will be pumping so dad can help but still feeding from the boob. But some posters still mention formula...

Also like to add I respect all mamas on what you do. You feed your babas how you want to, that you've all done an amazing job. And should be proud. And to never feel guilty. I'm really not an arsehole like some on here like to make me out to be. I'm just a mama doing her best. And very hormonal atm and in a lot of pain with my PGP.

Just had to get that out 😊

OP posts:
Original poster
Cowlover89 · 30/10/2023 14:45

Crunchymum · 30/10/2023 13:59

I can't converse with someone who uses the terms mamas and babas.

FWIW I've bottle fed one DC, BF another (until she was almost 3) and expressed for my 3rd DC (who had a NG tube until her first birthday). I have literally done the whole feeding spectrum and did what suited myself and the baby in each instance.

I don't care what other women do, I am glad we all have a choice and I hope any woman who does wish to BF gets the support to do so, just the same as any woman who chooses not to BF is also given the same support.

Having a baby in neonatal and who never fed from my breast (or a bottle) really changed my outlook on "the ideal". Was I less of a mother for not having my baby with me, on my breast? Never. People always forget those of us who have the feeding choice totally taken out of our own hands.

That's how you feel then that's fair. But I personally don't think there's anything wrong with mama and baba

OP posts:
x2boys · 30/10/2023 14:56

Cowlover89 · 30/10/2023 13:52

I know but changing to to stop getting grief from aholes. And I'm allowed an opinion. Don't like it don't read it. Simple

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If your going to frequently name change try not putting 89 in your user name ,you are every identifiable i don't care if you Breast feed for ever more but you do seem somewhat obsessed about it

Original poster
Cowlover89 · 30/10/2023 14:59

x2boys · 30/10/2023 14:56

If your going to frequently name change try not putting 89 in your user name ,you are every identifiable i don't care if you Breast feed for ever more but you do seem somewhat obsessed about it

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Thanks for the tip 👍 and I'm not. I'm sorry if you had a bad experience but don't be an arse all ya life

OP posts:
Original poster
Cowlover89 · 30/10/2023 15:01

I just want what's best for my babas and think breast is best for them. Don't like my view so be it. I don't comment it to appease anyone.

OP posts:
x2boys · 30/10/2023 15:03

Cowlover89 · 30/10/2023 14:59

Thanks for the tip 👍 and I'm not. I'm sorry if you had a bad experience but don't be an arse all ya life

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My kids are nearly 17 and 13_
So feeding choices are a long way behind me and totally irrelevant.
Perhaps try taking your own advice about being an arse?

Ssme92 · 30/10/2023 15:14

@Cowlover89 other people's experience are fairly irrelevant to be honest. Every baby is different. It may be a small chance but there is a chance that you might have to formula feed your baby. The baby may not take to the breast, or the breast milk if expressed, you might not be able to if in pain after birth, etc etc... All small chances and in an ideal world none of this would happen. I mean it even happens in the animal world, where calves or lambs have to be bottle fed formula, it's not completely unheard of! The way you are talking worries me that you will fall apart and be hard on yourself if it ends up that formula feeding is the only option. I was merely suggesting that you prepare yourself for this small chance. Every birth and baby is so different and I think going in with a very concrete set idea can end in disaster and an upset mother being hard on herself.

Original poster
Cowlover89 · 30/10/2023 15:27

Ssme92 · 30/10/2023 15:14

@Cowlover89 other people's experience are fairly irrelevant to be honest. Every baby is different. It may be a small chance but there is a chance that you might have to formula feed your baby. The baby may not take to the breast, or the breast milk if expressed, you might not be able to if in pain after birth, etc etc... All small chances and in an ideal world none of this would happen. I mean it even happens in the animal world, where calves or lambs have to be bottle fed formula, it's not completely unheard of! The way you are talking worries me that you will fall apart and be hard on yourself if it ends up that formula feeding is the only option. I was merely suggesting that you prepare yourself for this small chance. Every birth and baby is so different and I think going in with a very concrete set idea can end in disaster and an upset mother being hard on herself.

I know that but it's a small chance. Bigger chance it'll go well and be no issues. And yes other experiences do help. I just would prefer not to use formula and that is okay. I am prepared either way.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cowlover89 · 30/10/2023 15:29

I know what you're saying. And I'd be guilty if didn't work out. But I prefer to keep a positive mindset.

OP posts:
Ssme92 · 30/10/2023 15:29

@Cowlover89 yes it is absolutely OK! As you said yourself, in the newborn stage you need to "just be prepared for anything".... I would hate to think of a new mother stressed out because something they wanted to happen couldn't happen. It's hard enough in the newborn phase without adding extra pressure on ourselves! 😃 My concern is coming from a good place, I'm not trying to be bitchy or push FF so sorry if it's coming across that way! Hope everything works out OK! 🙏

Original poster
Cowlover89 · 30/10/2023 15:32

And I really don't need other mams judging me. Making out I'm obsessed. I love it and I'm proud of myself and my body for being able to feed my son even after the hard start we had. And again I'm sorry to the mams that it didn't work out how they wanted it. But just because it didn't doesn't mean you get to dictate how other mams feel and want to express themselves.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cowlover89 · 30/10/2023 15:34

Ssme92 · 22/10/2023 22:56

What has your least favourite thing about parenting been? I enjoyed weaning in the beginning but then started to dislike it.

Edited
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Didn't see this. So far the hardest part is seeing your child in pain/poorly and not being able to do a damn thing about it. Wishing you could take it away

OP posts:
Original poster
Cowlover89 · 30/10/2023 15:35

Pumpkingnome · 22/10/2023 22:15

People will judge you for every single parenting decision you make from the moment they find out you're pregnant

You're better off ignoring all of it from the beginning and doing whatever you feel is best for you and your baby

Yes they will! Easier said than done but will definitely try to from now on. X

OP posts:
Original poster
Cowlover89 · 30/10/2023 15:43

Ssme92 · 30/10/2023 15:29

@Cowlover89 yes it is absolutely OK! As you said yourself, in the newborn stage you need to "just be prepared for anything".... I would hate to think of a new mother stressed out because something they wanted to happen couldn't happen. It's hard enough in the newborn phase without adding extra pressure on ourselves! 😃 My concern is coming from a good place, I'm not trying to be bitchy or push FF so sorry if it's coming across that way! Hope everything works out OK! 🙏

Oh yes you do. Oh definitely 😃 I love the newborn stage. I know and appreciate it. Least you get some nice mamas on here 😊 it's okay! Thank you means a lot x

OP posts:
Original poster
Cowlover89 · 30/10/2023 16:01

x2boys · 30/10/2023 15:03

My kids are nearly 17 and 13_
So feeding choices are a long way behind me and totally irrelevant.
Perhaps try taking your own advice about being an arse?

Show quote history

I don't need to because I've not been an arse. You didn't need to comment again.

OP posts:
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