Page 4 | Wether you breastfeed or formula feed.

Cowlover89 · 2023-10-22T18:42:10+00:00

I want no arguments. Just a nice debate. Let off some steam. Basically lighthearted. Tell me things that annoy you. I'll go first. When you state in a post what you are going to do. And say what you're not going to do. You still get comments to just do it. I stated that I will not be adding formula this time. Will be pumping so dad can help but still feeding from the boob. But some posters still mention formula... Also like to add I respect all mamas on what you do. You feed your babas how you want to, that you've all done an amazing job. And should be proud. And to never feel guilty. I'm really not an arsehole like some on here like to make me out to be. I'm just a mama doing her best. And very hormonal atm and in a lot of pain with my PGP. Just had to get that out 😊

Slipknot89 · 23/10/2023 10:37

FrazzledHippy · 22/10/2023 22:06

Fed is best. End of discussion.

I also like to say informed is best too

Slipknot89 · 23/10/2023 12:23

bakewellbride · 22/10/2023 21:56

"Tell me things that annoy you."

Being referred to as mama / 'you mamas are doing great' or anything like that.

Fair enough. Some like it. Some don't

Coffeerum · 23/10/2023 12:28

It's bizarre how many threads on the one topic a single poster needs to make.

Parenting goes significantly beyond how you feed your child in the first year or so.

Greygardenz · 23/10/2023 12:31

You're a very strange poster. Constantly name changing, starting multiple threads on the same subject and changing names mid thread.

bulletproofteatowel · 23/10/2023 12:40

Seeing as you've posted on AIBU. I'm not, never have and never will be a 'mama'. It reminds me of those pull a string and talk kind of dolls. While we are on the topic, I wouldn't call either of my children 'baba' either.

Child 1. I couldn't breastfeed if I wanted to. Was on medication after birth that had 'don't take this and breastfeed' all over the box and everything. Yes, there really are meds like that. Formula all the way.

Child 2. Breastfed for the 1st year.

Can you guess which child is the high achieving, sporty, very bright child and which child is the one with an EHCP, special school, complex autistic needs, god knows how many allergies amd a complete failure to thrive in their 1st year child.

OP, stop stressing out. Just feed the flipping baby. Whichever way feels best for you.

Pepsipasta · 23/10/2023 12:50

If you don't care how other peoples babies are fed, why ask?

Seriously baffled why people are even interested in this.

My eldest is 19. How I fed them is nobody's business but I'm telling you that I have no idea which of their friends was BF or FF. I don't know who was left to cry it out, who co-slept, who was worn as a baby in a sling, who watched too much tv, who potty trained the earliest, who walked the latest. No idea. And do you know what, nobody cares about that either.

Nobody cares about the things your baby does except you.

nearlywinteragain · 23/10/2023 12:56

This is the sort of thing that seems critical when your dc is small and becomes an utter irrelevance once they are older.
Along with types of nappies, types of weaning and when they started walking.

Somethingsnappy · 23/10/2023 15:00

You're getting a hard time here op for your interest/posts/threads on the subject, but I completely understand. When I was in the thick of it, with very young children and pregnant with the next, I was completely and utterly preoccupied with all things baby/feeding related too. I found it hard to think of much else! It's the hormones I expect. Four children later, including one toddler who is still bf, and I can safely say I am now able to think about plenty of other things!

And as you asked for things that annoy us.... Mine is just when people get so worked up, upset and defensive about it all.

Ssme92 · 23/10/2023 17:44

I found it difficult whilst pregnant that nobody was willing to give me info about FF. Any midwives dismissed me when I said I had done my research and wanted to FF... "well still do the classes and see how you feel then" etc etc. Eventually the oldest midwife I'd seen didn't judge me at all, removed the breastfeeding page from my file and gave me all the information I needed. So I suppose the most annoying / hardest thing for me was not being listened to / being judged by midwives whilst pregnant. Funnily, I had absolutely zero judgement from anyone medical or otherwise once I'd had the baby and was feeding her formula (outside of Mumsnet)!

sollenwir · 23/10/2023 18:10

Regarding the BFing thing specifically - it's quite common not to want to use formula (so either BF exclusively/mainly but with expressed bottles every now and then/at a set time), but then the BFing doesn't go to plan (for whatever reason) and so folk end up combi-feeding/exclusively FF'ing. Wanting to BF doesn't mean you will end up BFing, even if you have before. FF'ing is perfectly ok, regardless if you had hoped to BF or if you were planning to FF all along, provided you use the correct type of formula/follow instructions etc.

Regarding other questions, sometimes people give reasons for not wanting to do a certain thing, but it turns out the reason is misinformed or naive in some way, and some folk provide more info of their experience if they feel it could help.

Original poster

Cowlover89 · 30/10/2023 10:44

Somethingsnappy · 23/10/2023 15:00

You're getting a hard time here op for your interest/posts/threads on the subject, but I completely understand. When I was in the thick of it, with very young children and pregnant with the next, I was completely and utterly preoccupied with all things baby/feeding related too. I found it hard to think of much else! It's the hormones I expect. Four children later, including one toddler who is still bf, and I can safely say I am now able to think about plenty of other things!

And as you asked for things that annoy us.... Mine is just when people get so worked up, upset and defensive about it all.

Sorry for the late reply. Had a break from here. Yep I know. No need for it. I am able to think of other things thats the thing. I can still love my breastfeeding journey and be proud. Yeah that annoys me too! Not allowed to say anything. Otherwise someone has a problem x

OP posts:

Original poster

Cowlover89 · 30/10/2023 10:46

sollenwir · 23/10/2023 18:10

Regarding the BFing thing specifically - it's quite common not to want to use formula (so either BF exclusively/mainly but with expressed bottles every now and then/at a set time), but then the BFing doesn't go to plan (for whatever reason) and so folk end up combi-feeding/exclusively FF'ing. Wanting to BF doesn't mean you will end up BFing, even if you have before. FF'ing is perfectly ok, regardless if you had hoped to BF or if you were planning to FF all along, provided you use the correct type of formula/follow instructions etc.

Regarding other questions, sometimes people give reasons for not wanting to do a certain thing, but it turns out the reason is misinformed or naive in some way, and some folk provide more info of their experience if they feel it could help.

I already know if can't breastfeed this time I'll definitely be pumping and won't be adding formula. But know what you mean. It's always good to get others experience x

OP posts:

Original poster

Cowlover89 · 30/10/2023 10:47

Ssme92 · 23/10/2023 17:44

I found it difficult whilst pregnant that nobody was willing to give me info about FF. Any midwives dismissed me when I said I had done my research and wanted to FF... "well still do the classes and see how you feel then" etc etc. Eventually the oldest midwife I'd seen didn't judge me at all, removed the breastfeeding page from my file and gave me all the information I needed. So I suppose the most annoying / hardest thing for me was not being listened to / being judged by midwives whilst pregnant. Funnily, I had absolutely zero judgement from anyone medical or otherwise once I'd had the baby and was feeding her formula (outside of Mumsnet)!

Edited

I'm sorry you had a hard time. No need for judgement. I'm glad it worked out x

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Ssme92 · 30/10/2023 10:51

@Cowlover89 I think what @sollenwir is saying is that there is a small chance you won't be able to breastfeed or pump and may need to formula feed as a result. Like I say a small chance but something to consider and come to terms with beforehand maybe? I find we can be very hard on ourselves if things don't go the way we had planned, especially with newborn hormones thrown into the mix! Best of Luck with everything!

Misssassy89 · 30/10/2023 11:48

Ssme92 · 30/10/2023 10:51

@Cowlover89 I think what @sollenwir is saying is that there is a small chance you won't be able to breastfeed or pump and may need to formula feed as a result. Like I say a small chance but something to consider and come to terms with beforehand maybe? I find we can be very hard on ourselves if things don't go the way we had planned, especially with newborn hormones thrown into the mix! Best of Luck with everything!

I know it will be okay. I'm still breastfeeding my toddler. But nope not considering it 😊 thank you

Misssassy89 · 30/10/2023 11:52

Looks like I'm going to have to change my name again 🤦‍♀️ffs.

bakewellbride · 30/10/2023 13:01

No one really 'knows it will be ok' - sometimes a baby HAS to be FF if they literally refuse to breastfeed and breastfeeding an existing toddler is irrelevant to that obviously. If a baby does not want to do something then it can't be helped. My eldest was the opposite and had to be breastfed (what I was planning anyway) as he point blank refused any bottle, midwives themselves tried! The baby will decide on the feeding method and there is a small chance that will have to be formula

ginandtonicwithlimes · 30/10/2023 13:17

Misssassy89 · 30/10/2023 11:48

I know it will be okay. I'm still breastfeeding my toddler. But nope not considering it 😊 thank you

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Formula isn't poison nor will you be considered a failure should you need to use it if it does a bit wrong. People are just trying to open your eyes to the possibility.

Coffeerum · 30/10/2023 13:25

Misssassy89 · 30/10/2023 11:52

Looks like I'm going to have to change my name again 🤦‍♀️ffs.

It’s no one else’s fault that you keep name changing but can’t help yourself when it comes to going back to threads about BF/FF and banging on about the same thing again, whether they are yours or not.

Original poster

Cowlover89 · 30/10/2023 13:51

ginandtonicwithlimes · 30/10/2023 13:17

Formula isn't poison nor will you be considered a failure should you need to use it if it does a bit wrong. People are just trying to open your eyes to the possibility.

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I know that. But I prefer not to use it. And I'm aware. But been told from a few they had no issues breastfeeding their second

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Original poster

Cowlover89 · 30/10/2023 13:52

Coffeerum · 30/10/2023 13:25

It’s no one else’s fault that you keep name changing but can’t help yourself when it comes to going back to threads about BF/FF and banging on about the same thing again, whether they are yours or not.

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I know but changing to to stop getting grief from aholes. And I'm allowed an opinion. Don't like it don't read it. Simple

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Original poster

Cowlover89 · 30/10/2023 13:53

Especially when still breastfeeding their first*

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misschocoholic89 · 30/10/2023 13:54

bakewellbride · 30/10/2023 13:01

No one really 'knows it will be ok' - sometimes a baby HAS to be FF if they literally refuse to breastfeed and breastfeeding an existing toddler is irrelevant to that obviously. If a baby does not want to do something then it can't be helped. My eldest was the opposite and had to be breastfed (what I was planning anyway) as he point blank refused any bottle, midwives themselves tried! The baby will decide on the feeding method and there is a small chance that will have to be formula

Not what ive been told. Had a lot of positive experiences. But still aware. But determined to breastfeed or pump.

Original poster

Cowlover89 · 30/10/2023 13:55

Ffs I give up. Its because I'm tired. Got a poorly baba.

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Crunchymum · 30/10/2023 13:59

I can't converse with someone who uses the terms mamas and babas.

FWIW I've bottle fed one DC, BF another (until she was almost 3) and expressed for my 3rd DC (who had a NG tube until her first birthday). I have literally done the whole feeding spectrum and did what suited myself and the baby in each instance.

I don't care what other women do, I am glad we all have a choice and I hope any woman who does wish to BF gets the support to do so, just the same as any woman who chooses not to BF is also given the same support.

Having a baby in neonatal and who never fed from my breast (or a bottle) really changed my outlook on "the ideal". Was I less of a mother for not having my baby with me, on my breast? Never. People always forget those of us who have the feeding choice totally taken out of our own hands.