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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wether you breastfeed or formula feed.

114 replies

Cowlover89 · 22/10/2023 19:42

I want no arguments. Just a nice debate. Let off some steam. Basically lighthearted.

Tell me things that annoy you. I'll go first. When you state in a post what you are going to do. And say what you're not going to do. You still get comments to just do it. I stated that I will not be adding formula this time. Will be pumping so dad can help but still feeding from the boob. But some posters still mention formula...

Also like to add I respect all mamas on what you do. You feed your babas how you want to, that you've all done an amazing job. And should be proud. And to never feel guilty. I'm really not an arsehole like some on here like to make me out to be. I'm just a mama doing her best. And very hormonal atm and in a lot of pain with my PGP.

Just had to get that out 😊

OP posts:
Original poster
Cowlover89 · 23/10/2023 09:03

Hardly. Getting brrastmilk jewellery isn't smug at all. It's a nice reminder 😌 @Flamingogirl08

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 23/10/2023 09:03

I BF for mine until she was a month old then switched to red bull. She loves it in her beaker and it quenches the thirst she has from the B&H.

Fed is best.

Original poster
Cowlover89 · 23/10/2023 09:03

Breastmilk*

OP posts:
Original poster
Cowlover89 · 23/10/2023 09:04

ShirleyPhallus · 23/10/2023 09:03

I BF for mine until she was a month old then switched to red bull. She loves it in her beaker and it quenches the thirst she has from the B&H.

Fed is best.

Aye it is lol

OP posts:
Original poster
Cowlover89 · 23/10/2023 09:08

To the ones twisting about this thread you didn't have to click on it. ☺️ and got so many appreciated comments on my other breastfeeding/pumping threads. Thanks again for the decent ones on here! I see not everyone are petty on mumsnet 😊

OP posts:
Original poster
Cowlover89 · 23/10/2023 09:20

Ketzele · 22/10/2023 20:11

There's no debate; the science is clear. We are lucky to live in a country where the undoubted nutritional advantage of breastmilk can be weighed against other important factors and, whether the resulting choice is breastmilk or formula, all our babies can thrive.

I honestly don't understand why we perpetuate this nonsense. It causes real harm.

I know used the wrong word. Yes they can thrive on either. Thank you for your comment.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 23/10/2023 09:21

I pumped into a bottle, and put it into a tube that went in his nose.

Anyone who doesn't think "fed is best" has clearly never gravity fed a baby with GERD 🤢🤮🤮🤮

Original poster
Cowlover89 · 23/10/2023 09:22

Ssme92 · 22/10/2023 22:15

Seeing as you posted in AIBU... YABU for constantly using the word "mamas" 🤮

and YABU for starting a thread on a topic you know will end in a heated debate with people on both sides getting hurt by nasty comments based on the other thread on the same topic that you engaged with today!

Yeah I know I used the wrong word. I love using mama 🥰 and it doesn't have to end that way..

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nutbrownhare15 · 23/10/2023 09:23

Re PGP it is treatable, I was treated at 30+ weeks. www.pelvicpartnership.org.uk have lots of guidance on treatment plus a list of recommended practitioners.

Original poster
Cowlover89 · 23/10/2023 09:23

SleepingStandingUp · 23/10/2023 09:21

I pumped into a bottle, and put it into a tube that went in his nose.

Anyone who doesn't think "fed is best" has clearly never gravity fed a baby with GERD 🤢🤮🤮🤮

Fed is definitely best. I hope your baba is okay now? And sorry you had to go through that. X

OP posts:
Original poster
Cowlover89 · 23/10/2023 09:24

nutbrownhare15 · 23/10/2023 09:23

Re PGP it is treatable, I was treated at 30+ weeks. www.pelvicpartnership.org.uk have lots of guidance on treatment plus a list of recommended practitioners.

Thank you for this! I've tried exercises but not working. I've been told it won't completely go away till after birth. X

OP posts:
Original poster
Cowlover89 · 23/10/2023 09:26

The pelvic tilt exercise what ive done most*

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x2boys · 23/10/2023 09:28

I think you are a little obsessed with breast feeding at the moments as you have a new baby Op hence all threads
In 16 years time ,s you won't care and might cringe a little at your superior attitude towards breast versus formula.

Ragwort · 23/10/2023 09:33

Is there any long term research on the benefits of breast feeding? I can understand people saying it is good for small children but do the benefits last? I am 65 and was breast fed - does that mean I am healthier than my non breast fed friends? Confused
My DH was also breast fed .. his mother drank Guinness all through pregnancy and breast feeding as was the advice at the time Grin.

Its only on Mumsnet that you seem to find this militant attitude to breast feeding ... when my DS was tiny (combi fed if anyone cares) no one commented or was interested.

Original poster
Cowlover89 · 23/10/2023 09:33

x2boys · 23/10/2023 09:28

I think you are a little obsessed with breast feeding at the moments as you have a new baby Op hence all threads
In 16 years time ,s you won't care and might cringe a little at your superior attitude towards breast versus formula.

Edited

Hardly obsessed. I was asking for advice and experiences which I got. I haven't had my daughter yet. You can think that but I won't.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cowlover89 · 23/10/2023 09:35

Ragwort · 23/10/2023 09:33

Is there any long term research on the benefits of breast feeding? I can understand people saying it is good for small children but do the benefits last? I am 65 and was breast fed - does that mean I am healthier than my non breast fed friends? Confused
My DH was also breast fed .. his mother drank Guinness all through pregnancy and breast feeding as was the advice at the time Grin.

Its only on Mumsnet that you seem to find this militant attitude to breast feeding ... when my DS was tiny (combi fed if anyone cares) no one commented or was interested.

I only ever see it on mumsnet not IRL

OP posts:
Ragwort · 23/10/2023 09:38

x2boys ... you are so right, all these issues are so irrelevant as your DC gets older .. I joined Mumsnet over 20 years ago when my DS was born and cringe at some of the things I posted ... feeding, weaning, sleeping, playschools, friendships, getting into the 'right' school etc etc etc - the vast majority of DC will end up fine.
I'm still in touch with many of the friends I met when DS was young ... you can't tell which DC was breast fed, sleep trained, weaned on organic food, did mandarin classes at 3 or whatever. Just lovely young people making their own way in the world.

Openocean · 23/10/2023 09:42

Did both, all good, I do think the level of propaganda around breastfeeding is over the top. It does have some benefits over ff, but ff has the benefit of being plentiful and the pathway to good supply is different for everybody. The risk of dehydration is underplayed IMHO.
Also I think there are things which are more beneficial to promote, such as vaccination, if they diverted more money into this I think it would be money better spent. Though thankfully because routine vaccination uptake are still pretty high the risk is relatively low at the moment for these diseases- but if you did contract them as a child the consequences can be life changing, or life ending. Vaccines are some of the best health interventions ever created with comparatively lower cost and disruption, the benefits can be quantified in lives saved, so why are they so softly softly with it?
That said I do think it’s really important to protect a woman’s right to breastfeed, and for it not to be seen as some luxurious optional extra.

Original poster
Cowlover89 · 23/10/2023 09:55

Openocean · 23/10/2023 09:42

Did both, all good, I do think the level of propaganda around breastfeeding is over the top. It does have some benefits over ff, but ff has the benefit of being plentiful and the pathway to good supply is different for everybody. The risk of dehydration is underplayed IMHO.
Also I think there are things which are more beneficial to promote, such as vaccination, if they diverted more money into this I think it would be money better spent. Though thankfully because routine vaccination uptake are still pretty high the risk is relatively low at the moment for these diseases- but if you did contract them as a child the consequences can be life changing, or life ending. Vaccines are some of the best health interventions ever created with comparatively lower cost and disruption, the benefits can be quantified in lives saved, so why are they so softly softly with it?
That said I do think it’s really important to protect a woman’s right to breastfeed, and for it not to be seen as some luxurious optional extra.

Thank you for this. This is what I asked for. I agree with vaccines. I would never not vaccinate my children. They are so important. I'm interested in the chicken pox one. I had it 3 times as a child.

OP posts:
nutbrownhare15 · 23/10/2023 09:59

No, this isn't exercises it's manual therapy. Most NhS services won't do it so you would need to go private. Mine did go away at 34 weeks pregnant because the manual therapy gets the joints moving (my left hip was stuck causing pain in my right hip which the physio unstuck) but I did need a top up appt as it came back after a few weeks. Do go if you can it was life changing for me. Have a read on the website which explains the treatment you need.

Original poster
Cowlover89 · 23/10/2023 10:01

nutbrownhare15 · 23/10/2023 09:59

No, this isn't exercises it's manual therapy. Most NhS services won't do it so you would need to go private. Mine did go away at 34 weeks pregnant because the manual therapy gets the joints moving (my left hip was stuck causing pain in my right hip which the physio unstuck) but I did need a top up appt as it came back after a few weeks. Do go if you can it was life changing for me. Have a read on the website which explains the treatment you need.

Thank you. Will definitely look in to. Id rather not be in this pain when I go in to labour. X

OP posts:
Original poster
Cowlover89 · 23/10/2023 10:17

Ketzele · 22/10/2023 20:17

And yes, I did breastfeed for a long time. And have a long professional involvement. So I'm not defensive or ignorant, just keenly aware that the undoubted benefits of breastmilk can be and often are outweighed by other considerations. Which is more than OK.

On the other hand, there are problems associated with formula feeding - eg overfeeding, weaning practices - that we make worse if women feel judged or guilty or excluded from professional advice.

Yes it is. And no one should ever be made to feel guilty

OP posts:
Original poster
Cowlover89 · 23/10/2023 10:18

Pumpkingnome · 22/10/2023 22:15

People will judge you for every single parenting decision you make from the moment they find out you're pregnant

You're better off ignoring all of it from the beginning and doing whatever you feel is best for you and your baby

Oh yeah definitely. I get judged plenty for co sleeping and putting my son in his own room before 6 months.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cowlover89 · 23/10/2023 10:21

Nellz · 22/10/2023 20:33

I breast feed (feeding my 6 month old right now!) and it works for us.

My bugbear is that the NHS / NCT / etc information around breast v formula verges on propaganda.

Breastfeeding is often painful and utterly relentless in the early days, with no clear way to know your baby is getting enough until they are weighed. Formula fed babies, on average, seem to sleep better. Their mums get to have their hair cut without worrying about whether they can get enough pumped so that someone else can take care of them for a couple of hours (and not everyone can pump a decent amount anyway).

Tell us that breastfeeding has drawbacks, so it's not a surprise!

I would still have chosen to breastfeed knowing what I do now, but wish I'd had all of the information in any case.

I'm glad 😊 it does. It was very painful for me as my son had tongue tie. Not always true. Its not how they feed how well they sleep. Its down to the baby. My son slept through at 11 weeks and still does. I think partly genetic imo. I'll be pumping when my daughter is here. Dad wants to do nights. Thank you for you comment x

OP posts:
Original poster
Cowlover89 · 23/10/2023 10:36

Mummyboy1 · 22/10/2023 22:02

Does it really matter how they're fed?
I wanted to breastfeed but I couldn't. He's in nursery now and there's no difference between him and a breastfed baby/ toddler .

Nope it doesn't matter at all.

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