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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hand out trick or treat sweets

106 replies

AllstarFacilier · 22/10/2023 10:53

We’ve moved to a new estate in the last few years and there are lots of kids. They’ve started coming earlier and earlier trick or treating, and so I’m expecting some this week and have bought the treats in already. Last year they were two weeks early and I had to say to come back nearer the time, as we had nothing in. TBF, it’s usually older ones with one in just a mask that do this, and the littler ones fully dressed up do it the weekend before/on the night of. Last year we had some come round into Nov as the kid had been poorly and we didn’t have anything in so they ended up with a bag of crisps 😂

Anyways, we buy a few bags of mini size chocolates and those lollies and refreshers etc. I also put things in like glowsticks and spiders etc, but we’ve noticed that most kids will pick out quite a few each, and I always panic that I’m going to run out. We had a group of five last year and they took a handful each, and then came back again on their way back out of the cul de sac and I had to say they’d already been. Their parents were with them too.

AIBU to physically hand the sweets out to them, rather than let them grab handfuls? I’ve tried saying “take two treats” but then I feel tight saying that too. I’ve also tried not putting as many in the bowl, so that it doesn’t look like there’s loads to grab. Some of the neighbours left sweets out by their front doors last year and a group of kids went around and took the lot in one go, so I’m not keen on doing that.

OP posts:
budgiegirl · 22/10/2023 11:01

We get a lot of trick or treaters, usually about 150-200 in an evening, but only on Halloween. If we got any another night, I'd just be telling them to come back on 31st!

Most who come to us will only take one treat out of the bowl, but some do grab a handful, and I'm quite happy to say 'no, just one each please, so there's enough to go round'. Alternatively I think it's fine to just drop a treat into each persons bag. It's not mean, after all, you are handing out free sweets!

Ididivfama · 22/10/2023 11:02

Definitely drop them into their hands.

Squiggles23 · 22/10/2023 11:04

I noticed this too, feels like such rude manners for a kid to grab a handful. I feel so old fashioned saying that!

Never heard of kids coming the wrong day although I could understand it if they did the Saturday instead of the Tuesday.

Brokenfurnitureandroses · 22/10/2023 11:04

Don’t give out any sweets except for on Halloween itself. It’s strange that they are coming at other times. It’s just one special night for children to get free sweets, they should be discouraged from calling any other night, it’s not fair on residents.

Plasmodesmata · 22/10/2023 11:06

Don't hand anything out if it's not Halloween. 31st only. We have a bowl of treats to offer without too many in and top up between visits.

ConflictedCheetah · 22/10/2023 11:08

You're just encouraging it by handing them out on any night other than 31st October. Just look confused and tell them it's not Halloween so no treats today. I have no idea why you're entertaining this at all!

worksucks2023 · 22/10/2023 11:09

Just don't answer the door. Problem solved.

MontyJames · 22/10/2023 11:10

never heard of kids coming any other night except 31st - I would chase them from the door!

Bumcake · 22/10/2023 11:13

Blimey, who wants to spent two weeks trudging to the door to hand out freebies? Sod that.

I enjoy it as a one night only deal, but I always drop a few treats in each bag.

MatthewsMumFromTikTok · 22/10/2023 11:15

No way would I give anything unless it's on the actual Halloween night!

Beggy kids in your area op!

BlowDryRat · 22/10/2023 11:16

I do the 31st only. If a little one came on Saturday I'd dig out the treats for them but I'd be surprised.

It's fine to say one treat only. They're being taught good manners.

Mothership4two · 22/10/2023 11:19

I have always handed out the sweets and never thought about it. Basically I'm trying to ensure there are enough to go around. One particularly busy year we did run out and I had to give the last group tangerines! We only get trick or treaters on Halloween though, I would refuse any that came on other days. A few of our neighbours don't want to take part and so don't put a pumpkin out (which seems to be effective) but that wouldn't work if trick or treaters stretched out their calls to days either side of Halloween.

rockinginarockingchair · 22/10/2023 11:22

Now mine are all grownup i dont bother with it. (not bothered in years)
Plus i live in a flat so no one can come knocking bliss.
They can go knock at my sisters but they will have to climb 4 flights of stairs.

BitofaStramash · 22/10/2023 11:22

I had them out

Only on Halloween itself.

Otherwise some greedy little monster will grab the lot.

If they come on a different night they will get told to go away.

Original poster
AllstarFacilier · 22/10/2023 11:23

Yeah I was surprised at how early some of them came. I don’t really mind the weekend before, when it’s on a school night. But I agree that it should really only be on the night.

I need to get a backbone and say the “only one” thing, but often it’s the tiny ones that take handfuls as they’re only little, and I feel embarrassed telling them to put stuff back when their parent is there and should be telling them. A couple a times I’ve had a kid say they don’t like what I have and I’ve been quite blunt “oh well, I’ve nothing for you then”.

I work in a secondary school, and the kids have told me that they’ll go around different estates each night leading up to it, particularly the newer estates. They’ve also told me if they go earlier, people haven’t got sweets in yet and they’re more likely to be given cash, so I know they’re being cheeky but they’re teenagers and I’m used to them.

OP posts:
Solmum1964 · 22/10/2023 11:27

It seems to be the unwritten rule here that you only knock at houses that are decorated/ have a lit pumpkin on show.
I've stopped now but used to prepare party bags with a few sweets in and hand one out to each child that called.
Once all the bags had gone, or it got to about 7pm, the candle in the pumpkin was extinguished and we never had any more visitors.

Ifyoulikealotofchocolateonyourbiscuit · 22/10/2023 11:27

Send them on their way until Halloween- that’s really cheeky!

PinkiOcelot · 22/10/2023 11:29

I’ve never had anyone knocking other than on 31st.
For me it’s usually the older ones who take handfuls. Last year I had a lovely little girl knock. She only took 1 lolly and I said, take a few. She said my mummy said I could only take 1. Awwww. She was so cute, but good on her for actually only taking one as she was told.

Topseyt123 · 22/10/2023 11:31

When we took part in the nonsense that is Halloween it was just on 31st October and no other night. If any had come round on other nights then they would either have been ignored totally or told to go away and come back on the correct night.

I used to just put out a bowl of stuff or tub of sweets and leave it. I didn't go to the door to police it at all and when it was gone it was gone.

I've not taken part for many years now as my DDs are all in their twenties. I don't miss it at all.

Needmorelego · 22/10/2023 11:34

I can understand this year if trick or treaters come next Saturday (as actual Halloween is a Tuesday school night this year).
I would put a sign on your door saying "Dear Trick or Treaters....I will be giving treats on Saturday and Tuesday evening only. Do not knock before then. Thanks"
Drop the sweats into their bag/pumpkin directly. You could give them a choice - "do you want a Milky Way, Mars or Bag of Haribo?" and they have to tell you and then you hand it over.

TeenDivided · 22/10/2023 11:35

You are far too soft.

Anyone coming round early is just trying it on, especially anyone wearing a mask with normal clothes!

Send them away to come back on the 31st and only if you have a pumpkin/decorations up.

On the night say 1 each and enforce it. Which can be by stern words or just hand one thing over.

MyCircumference · 22/10/2023 11:37

far too early
you do what suits you
turn the lights off and eat the sweets yourself if you want.

Doingmybest12 · 22/10/2023 11:38

I'm surprised you work in secondary school but can't manage this situation. Just remind them to take only 1 or hand something to them. Admire costumes, wish them a happy time. Send them away on the wrong day.

margotrose · 22/10/2023 11:41

You're being a bit of a mug here - why are you handing out crisps and sweets two weeks early and into November? Confused

Trick or treat is on Halloween only. Not two weeks before, not the weekend before, not in November. On October 31st.

Children should only go to houses with sweets outside or with pumpkins, otherwise they shouldn't be knocking. Either put a bowl of sweets out and when it's gone, top it up or bring it in, or have some inside but be prepared to be up and down like a yo-yo all night.

Mothership4two · 22/10/2023 11:46

if they go earlier, people haven’t got sweets in yet and they’re more likely to be given cash

My late FIL had a group of older teens turn up on the 31st asking for cash instead and he sent them packing. He used to make carol singers sing and the whole carol too.

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