To hand out trick or treat sweets

[AllstarFacilier]

We’ve moved to a new estate in the last few years and there are lots of kids. They’ve started coming earlier and earlier trick or treating, and so I’m expecting some this week and have bought the treats in already. Last year they were two weeks early and I had to say to come back nearer the time, as we had nothing in. TBF, it’s usually older ones with one in just a mask that do this, and the littler ones fully dressed up do it the weekend before/on the night of. Last year we had some come round into Nov as the kid had been poorly and we didn’t have anything in so they ended up with a bag of crisps 😂

Anyways, we buy a few bags of mini size chocolates and those lollies and refreshers etc. I also put things in like glowsticks and spiders etc, but we’ve noticed that most kids will pick out quite a few each, and I always panic that I’m going to run out. We had a group of five last year and they took a handful each, and then came back again on their way back out of the cul de sac and I had to say they’d already been. Their parents were with them too.

AIBU to physically hand the sweets out to them, rather than let them grab handfuls? I’ve tried saying “take two treats” but then I feel tight saying that too. I’ve also tried not putting as many in the bowl, so that it doesn’t look like there’s loads to grab. Some of the neighbours left sweets out by their front doors last year and a group of kids went around and took the lot in one go, so I’m not keen on doing that.

Please don’t insult my capability at my career just because you don’t agree with me on something

what are we disagreeing on?

Toffee onions for anyone breaking the rules.

Are you not disagreeing with my approach? Are you just insulting me for no reason then?

They are intimidating

Guising sweets are only for the 31st and after the wee 'party piece' here. I hand out rather than allow grabbing.

31st only here, any chances get sent packing. Tbh if parents are bringing younger ones around they are to blame when their kids go home empty handed, not you.
(We're Scotland & never heard of anywhere doing the Saturday before!) If it falls during week,little ones usually out just after 6.30 & older teens etc ones they've finished up by 7
30ish. Even the older kids are done by 8.30/45 & head to friends if they want to stay out later.
Round us if you have a lit pumpkin at front door then you're happy to accept trick or treaters, if not everyone knows to leave your house alone. So if you run out of sweeties just bring it inside, no need to start giving out cash

Are you not disagreeing with my approach? Are you just insulting me for no reason then

I’ve not insulted you and you’re not making much sense now. What is your approach? If it’s arguing that the kids should knock and get cash/sweets for three
weeks around Halloween, then, yes I disagree.

But you’ve since said it’s not so my point was merely that I don’t understand how you think it’s okay to hand out sweets outside of Halloween and I’ve expressed surprise at how as a teacher you don’t seem to

a. understand that people would find it intimidating

b. Are calling it cheeky, rather than what it is, which is teenage intimidation of vulnerable people

Manners are not old fashioned tho, I think you're right! My 11yo was v disappointed with a friend we invited round last year as he was racing up and down driveways, grabbing the treats and running to the next house. I've shown my dc over the years what's expected and how to have a great night while keeping their manners. He was embarrassed last year by his friend and isn't inviting hkm to go together this year. Some people are too hands off and 'They're only kids', no reason why they can't be expected to understand. Much better they be told to take another rather than grabbing at sweets. YADNBU OP.

We gave out an entire 5kg tub of Swizzles sweets last year plus some smaller bags I had in reserve and still ran out. I always say just take one otherwise we’d run out very quickly. We also only do Halloween, it’s always older ones bored and chancing their luck that come before.

How can you not see that questioning how I can be “a bloody teacher with [my] sense” is insulting? What are you implying otherwise?

I can totally understand how people would find it intimidating. It doesn’t mean that the children are intimidating or demanding though. Tonight they said “trick or treat” to my friend. She said “sorry, come back on Halloween” and they left without argument. Hardly intimidation. More cheeky than criminal.

It doesn’t mean that the children are intimidating or demanding though. Tonight they said “trick or treat” to my friend. She said “sorry, come back on Halloween” and they left without argument. Hardly intimidation. More cheeky than criminal

This is where you’re lacking sense. Cheeky to your friend perhaps, but cheeky or terrifying to an 80yr old on their own when a gang of teens knock 2 weeks before Halloween? Why do you think people are giving cash? Because they think ‘oh what cheeky lads’? Or because they’re scared,

Hold the container and hand them out yourself. Don't let them choose or put the sweet tubs next to the door, the grabby kids will just reach in and take handfuls (learned from experience). Alternatively, make up little bags with maybe 5 or 6 things in and hand them out. Once they're gone, they're gone. Door locked and lights out.
Whatever you do, don't leave sweets outside the door for kids to take 'one' while you go out. The first group will take the lot and leave none for anyone else.

and I always panic that I’m going to run out why do you panic then?

I wouldn’t give them a single thing until Halloween night.

I leave them out. If one kid wants to ruin it all for everyone else so be it. I'm not spending my evening struggling to get to the door each time.

Oh, and I wouldn't buy sweets for the run-up to Halloween. Kids know the deal, that night only. If you start doing that, word will spread and you'll have more kids at the door in the run-up next year

Yeah if they weren't intimidated they'd be saying oh no not tonight come back on Halloween

Or all year round even! Who knows where it will stop!

Not unreasonable to hand out the sweets

Totally unreasonable and odd to hand them out weeks before 🙄

My curfew is 7.30-8pm after that pumpkin comes in and I don't answer. I take my kids out from 5.30-6.30 I can't bear it but now it's seems to be such a big thing and my eldest is 11 now so hopefully this will be her last year.

Well my dad would give them 50p if he wanted to give them something and he didn’t have anything in. An older single lady may be scared and want to get rid. Either way, I think the kids are being cheeky and trying it on, not going out to threaten. I’m not lacking sense in any way that impedes my job. I can see how it could be upsetting, but I also don’t think the kids are going out with the intention to threaten. I don’t know what you’re wanting me to say - that they’re clearly awful children and they’re just wanting to rob the elderly? I don’t know why I’m bothering anyways, they’re not my kids so I don’t need to distinguish whether they’re being cheeky or criminal. Have a blessed Halloween.

Because I won’t have enough sweets for all the little darlings who are dressed up having a lovely night, not because I think a 16 year old is going to kick my door in lest I give him a Swizzler lolly.

They need to be taught their behaviour is threatening then. It doesn't matter if that's not their intention. If a vulnerable person is giving them money because they are scared of them then it needs to be stopped. As a presumably responsible member of the community you can help by not giving stuff out early.

Why would you panic about that? And the eldest ones will leave you alone if they know they can come back for cash a couple of days later

Wow you’re really hung up on the word panic there aren’t you. I forgot how careful you have to be with language on here because people will take things so literally. Don’t worry, I’m not crying in a corner when I run out of skittles.

Where I live in the US trick or treat is scheduled by the city. This year is the 31st from 630pm-8pm. No one ever comes before or after the scheduled time. And you only go to a house that has its porch light on.