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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To talk to cleaner about this and not use again

222 replies

betray · 22/10/2023 08:30

We went away and paid our cleaner 4 hours to clean the house
She came and spent 1.hr 20 mins there and saw it on the door bell
We home swap and our last two guests said the house was not clean
We thought they were being fussy and couldn't understand
This home swap she spent 1hr 21 minutes there
I'm worried these guests will complain house isn't clean again
I need her to sort the house for our return
I want her to do the return clean as I haven't got any notice but she needs to unpack our groceries too
If we get another bad rating for cleanliness it's going to jeopardise our future swaps which is how we go on holiday
I'm so hurt
What shall I do? Say something or just leave and not use again? So so upset

OP posts:
Sueveneers · 22/10/2023 20:58

How often do you do this, OP? Because from your first post my impression was you are in a constant state of flux and you are always living in different houses. If it was once every couple of years then that would be one thing but if you are constantly 'house swapping' (whatever that means) all the time, then that's not fair on your children and as a child I would have hated the thought that people were in my room. I just think 'bnb' let alone 'air' bnb sounds really really trashy. If I were on an actual real, proprer holiday, part of that is having an actual hotel room. Not living in someone else's private space. Now people can go off at me in replies all they want, but staying in strangers private bedrooms just seems absolutely skanky and filthy to me and if you're going on an actual proper holiday, do that. A motel room is part of the experience. I wouldn't want to sleep in someone else's private bedroom. Maybe I am missing something though.

Unicorn2022 · 22/10/2023 21:03

@Sueveneers I feel exactly the same. I don't think I could enjoy a holiday in someone else's home while knowing they had full access to my own house. I'd rather save the cleaning money and presumably the extra insurance you need to let strangers into your home, and save a bit longer for a hotel room.

Heyhoherewegoagain · 22/10/2023 21:09

Sueveneers · 22/10/2023 20:58

How often do you do this, OP? Because from your first post my impression was you are in a constant state of flux and you are always living in different houses. If it was once every couple of years then that would be one thing but if you are constantly 'house swapping' (whatever that means) all the time, then that's not fair on your children and as a child I would have hated the thought that people were in my room. I just think 'bnb' let alone 'air' bnb sounds really really trashy. If I were on an actual real, proprer holiday, part of that is having an actual hotel room. Not living in someone else's private space. Now people can go off at me in replies all they want, but staying in strangers private bedrooms just seems absolutely skanky and filthy to me and if you're going on an actual proper holiday, do that. A motel room is part of the experience. I wouldn't want to sleep in someone else's private bedroom. Maybe I am missing something though.

So you’d rather stay in a hotel room which hundreds and probably thousands of people have previously used 😂😂😂

Sueveneers · 22/10/2023 21:11

Heyhoherewegoagain · 22/10/2023 21:09

So you’d rather stay in a hotel room which hundreds and probably thousands of people have previously used 😂😂😂

Show quote history

Is there a difference?

I'd rather stay in a motel room designed for that, than someone else's private bedroom.

Heyhoherewegoagain · 22/10/2023 21:30

Sueveneers · 22/10/2023 21:11

Is there a difference?

I'd rather stay in a motel room designed for that, than someone else's private bedroom.

Show quote history

No there isn’t -but from your previous post you appear very dismissive of the OP’s choice…which is precisely that-a choice

Theoriginalmrscillianmurphy · 22/10/2023 22:35

I'm a pretty messy sod op, I just like coming home to a clean house as I'm usually straight back into work the day after and kids back in school too.

I used to have a brilliant cleaner years ago so I understand why you have one, but when they don't do the job properly it's pointless.

I'd just talk to her about the hours she did and the hours that were agreed and go from there.

Redpaisley · 23/10/2023 00:38

Theoriginalmrscillianmurphy · 22/10/2023 12:34

I have four kids. I always clean my house spotless the day before we go on holiday so it's spotless when I come home. We all use the same shower on the day we go, and I even use paper plates for breakfast, so I can bin them before we leave.

Gold medal for you 🥇

Mydogmybestfriend · 23/10/2023 02:47

She's taking the p massively

Throwhandsupintheair · 23/10/2023 06:50

AdobeWanKenobi · 22/10/2023 12:53

Anyone else? 😉

This was my first thought too.

Pleaseme · 23/10/2023 07:04

Some cleaners do take advantage when the owner isn’t there. I was chatting to a woman who turned up at her holiday accommodation to find it filthy. Owner lived down south and hadn’t been up in months. She got a full refund after sending pictures and went home. Rebooked for a shiny new lodge.

cleaner had been paid to do it but obviously was doing a rubbish/ speedy job.

rabbitbabbitt · 23/10/2023 07:31

This happened to me and when the cleaner started threatening me I took her to the small claims court @betray

Soontobe60 · 23/10/2023 07:38

betray · 22/10/2023 08:46

Great suggestion

To do a service I am paying for 🙌🙏 thank you for this!

I don't need to justify anything to you but maybe you should try travelling with three kids and getting your home into an air bnb state of cleanliness and tidyness before a flight 😂😂😂😂

Show quote history

You do know that it’s your choice to do this? No one is forcing you!
You're being dramatic - if the cleaner didn't do the hours you've paid her for, just tell her “Hey, I saw you were only at the house for less than 2 hours, but I paid you for 4 hours” then wait for her response.
But stop with the hyperbole.

greenbeansnspinach · 23/10/2023 08:59

we did house swaps a while ago and it tends to work really well. Everyone is very aware that the other people are in their home, which of course has been cleaned to an inch of its life before the swap takes place and personal possessions put away. So there’s mutual respect. We stayed in a lovely home in the Netherlands once in a seaside village and had a wonderful time. We even swapped cats!
Im not keen on hotels, however posh and well run. You’ve still only got your room to retire to.
I do agree with you that children might be less comfortable with house swaps but the families can get to know each other over the internet beforehand which CouId help. We just did it as a couple.
Not for everyone of course, but our experiences were delightful.

JaneGainsborough · 23/10/2023 09:27

Soontobe60 · 23/10/2023 07:38

You do know that it’s your choice to do this? No one is forcing you!
You're being dramatic - if the cleaner didn't do the hours you've paid her for, just tell her “Hey, I saw you were only at the house for less than 2 hours, but I paid you for 4 hours” then wait for her response.
But stop with the hyperbole.

Show quote history

There is no 'hyperbole'. The OP was responding to the (frankly quite absurd) suggestion that she 'clean her own house' when she has already paid for it to be cleaned! Why on earth is that so hard for some people to understand!?

Unicorn2022 · 23/10/2023 11:17

I think people were more suggesting OP clean her own house this time instead of getting the same cleaner back again and wasting money for her to do a crap job and put away shopping. Not suggesting that she does her own cleaning forever!

stayathomer · 23/10/2023 11:49

Really disrespectful to think oh well they won't see it as it's guests there this time
i think this is a huge jump until you talk to her properly op. As are the people calling he evil and a scammer. Wait and see

SunnySideDownBriefly · 23/10/2023 11:58

Why don't you just talk to her about it? Explain that you can see that she hasn't committed to the full 4 hours of cleaning and that this has led to bad reviews on the cleanliness. I totally understand that you feel upset - I would too as she's taken advantage of you but you just need to put a stop to it and remind her what your expectations are. can you bear to have a conversation with her about it? Wht would you do if you paid for a full shop and the shop only sent you half the delivery? You'd get in touch with them and explain the problem so that you find a solution.

Ultimately it sounds as though you want to keep using her. See it as a positive step forward - you don't need to be angry or upset. Just professional. Ask her why she didn't stay for the full four hours? Does she have a list of tasks to tick-off for each room?

JaneGainsborough · 23/10/2023 12:05

SunnySideDownBriefly · 23/10/2023 11:58

Why don't you just talk to her about it? Explain that you can see that she hasn't committed to the full 4 hours of cleaning and that this has led to bad reviews on the cleanliness. I totally understand that you feel upset - I would too as she's taken advantage of you but you just need to put a stop to it and remind her what your expectations are. can you bear to have a conversation with her about it? Wht would you do if you paid for a full shop and the shop only sent you half the delivery? You'd get in touch with them and explain the problem so that you find a solution.

Ultimately it sounds as though you want to keep using her. See it as a positive step forward - you don't need to be angry or upset. Just professional. Ask her why she didn't stay for the full four hours? Does she have a list of tasks to tick-off for each room?

Why should the OP want to keep giving chances to someone who is clearly dishonest? Your shopping analogy doesn't fit this scenario at all: that, while annoying, is a mistake. This is not, it is dishonesty and there is no way I would keep employing someone like that. It is theft, and if she would steal time, who's to say that she would not steal in other ways as well? I work as a cleaner and would never dream of shorting my clients' hours.

Dahlia57 · 23/10/2023 18:36

I would just not use her again. She has then lost future income by cheating you. If you think confronting her about this could cause future problems for you then don't speak to her about this. It's upsetting when you pay good money for services which aren't delivered. I asked a neighbour to do a building job for me for which he charged me a lot of money (more than another quote I'd been given), he then asked for cash and it was more than £2000 so he could avoid paying tax. He cut corners which meant the problem wasn't sorted. It's very disappointing.

Beauty3102 · 23/10/2023 19:01

I’m a cleaner and I would be so embarrassed if I left my job early or didn’t do my job properly. Get rid of her you can easily get another cleaner. Plus you’ll be able
to get someone cheaper too

If she asks why…give her the evidence that she left early on the doorbell. Save the recording you have of her entering and leaving.

Ilovecleaning · 23/10/2023 20:32

Warum · 22/10/2023 08:40

Can't you do the cleaning yourself?

Bit of a stupid and unhelpful question.

Ilovecleaning · 23/10/2023 20:34

Soontobe60 · 23/10/2023 07:38

You do know that it’s your choice to do this? No one is forcing you!
You're being dramatic - if the cleaner didn't do the hours you've paid her for, just tell her “Hey, I saw you were only at the house for less than 2 hours, but I paid you for 4 hours” then wait for her response.
But stop with the hyperbole.

Show quote history

Missing the point I think…

Ilovecleaning · 23/10/2023 20:38

I’ve always found professional cleaning companies much better than a lone cleaner. More expensive but much more reliable and they do a great job.

Motheranddaughter · 23/10/2023 20:45

My cleaner comes 3x a week and does everything
I work 12 hour days
She is paid well and does a great job
My money my choice

threatmatrix · 23/10/2023 21:07

Warum · 22/10/2023 08:50

Clearly I didn't mean pay someone and do it yourself.
As it stands, you chose to set up the 'business', with 3 kids, and your lifestyle whereas I didn't, so why would I be trying to do these things?
Did you leave a list regarding specifically what you needed the cleaner to do?
Is she used to cleaning to 'rent out' standard?

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You are not being very nice