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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if you believe in manifestation?

214 replies

Thewal · 21/10/2023 23:49

I watched ‘The Secret’ today. It seemed to be mostly waffle with some random quotes thrown in, but from what I can gather it suggests that positive thinking and asking for things from the universe is what leads to ‘success’ and essentially getting what you want.

So I’d love to hear if you have ever manifested something into reality? How did you do it and how long did it take? Do you believe in it? And does the banishing of negative thoughts ever stress you out?

I just want to know what day to day life is like for people who practice this and if people have actually had something happen they put down to it?

OP posts:
LylaLee · 22/10/2023 12:12

Yogibearspicnic · 22/10/2023 12:10

There's a couple of billion people living on less than $1/day. Maybe we can just teach them about manifesting a hot meal and stick some pictures on a board, and we can end world hunger!

Well, it looks like this thread has the Nobel Peace prize AND the Noble Prize for science in the bag. Well done! We did it!

Choopa · 22/10/2023 12:15

@Gidrich Well, i do believe in all that. I believed in that in my 20s and had amazing experiences, even though i had no money or priviledge.

Then out of fear and societal acceptance i went against my own true self and started believing life was hard for the next 20 years. Awful things happened, and life was grey and miserable.

Now in my 40s im back to my true self. Im manifesting things every day. Not for myself, but for the wider community. Dont want to say what i do for a living, but it involves raising momentum and funding for causes that benefit wider society. People that i never thought possible are saying yes to my proposals. Only two years ago i was in an abusive situation and unemployed. I prefer living life this way to my previous existence for sure.

Gidrich · 22/10/2023 12:18

Choopa · 22/10/2023 12:15

@Gidrich Well, i do believe in all that. I believed in that in my 20s and had amazing experiences, even though i had no money or priviledge.

Then out of fear and societal acceptance i went against my own true self and started believing life was hard for the next 20 years. Awful things happened, and life was grey and miserable.

Now in my 40s im back to my true self. Im manifesting things every day. Not for myself, but for the wider community. Dont want to say what i do for a living, but it involves raising momentum and funding for causes that benefit wider society. People that i never thought possible are saying yes to my proposals. Only two years ago i was in an abusive situation and unemployed. I prefer living life this way to my previous existence for sure.

Believe in all what?

That isn’t the universe manifesting things, that is you making effort, having good luck, and taking opportunities etc. It isn’t anything to do with the universe.

BertieBotts · 22/10/2023 12:23

There is some sense in it, in that whatever you're focusing on, you tend to unconsciously aim towards. If you feel secure, confident, happy, that you have a solution to all of your problems, then you will also act that way and acting confident tends to lead to better outcomes. This is no more than a psychological trick similar to positive thinking. It works because it encourages you to move towards things that you want/need/would like rather than shying away from them and assuming they aren't possible or won't work for you.

However, I will tell you the negative/toxic side of it. My mum is really into it and got me into it as a teenager. There were various stories which all seemed to prove magically that it worked, which were probably no more than coincidences/an effect of the "focus on what you want and you'll orient towards it" aspect. And I'm sure that there were positive aspects for me, for example pursuing a course in the direction I wanted to work etc.

But it also caused me (among other things, but I'm sure that manifestation was one of the mindsets that was leading me here) to stick around in relationships - romantic and friendships - that were unhealthy and toxic for me. Because manifestation led me to think that I could influence their behaviour ~on an energy level~ rather than learning about boundaries and how to communicate and enforce them. Now I'm sure this is a common teenage thing and if you're coming to it as an adult, then perhaps it's less of an issue, but I wanted to share my experience as you do not always hear of the downsides.

Secondly, because of the idea that "thoughts become things" there is sort of an opposite vein too, an idea that you mustn't ever think about anything bad that might happen, because thinking about it can literally cause it to happen. This can be pretty majorly disastrous for mental health, especially for anyone who is imaginative or a worrier. It probably was helpful for me to be told "don't focus on all the things that could go wrong", but OTOH, it was not at all helpful for me to become afraid of my own mind or get into these sort of mental "rituals" where I would briefly worry about something (like a house fire, or a car crash, or something happening to someone I love) and then worry that I can't push that thought away, and have to resort to trying to block it out by thinking WE ARE SAFE WE ARE SAFE WE ARE SAFE WE ARE SAFE over and over again, to try and block out the thought. This escalated almost to the point of OCD level thoughts, where I really believed that I had to keep thinking this, otherwise I would CAUSE something bad to happen. That was extremely unhealthy for me and caused me much distress. It took quite a long time and lot of effort to be able to retrain myself that my mind is actually a safe space to explore absolutely any thought that came into my head, including disaster scenarios or bad things or scary things, and thinking about it absolutely cannot possibly in any way cause it to happen. In fact, being able to think about the ways that things might go wrong is OK, as long as it is not obsessive; it's a healthy and helpful way of risk management. Manifestation theory says that it's not. And this was unhelpful to me.

Thirdly, I've seen my mum get more and more and more into this magical thinking to a point where she doesn't want to make any steps to actually make things better for herself because she is waiting for the "most perfect thing" to come along and she won't do anything unless it "feels right" in her gut, which leads her into some precarious situations, which she doesn't like to acknowledge because (as she puts it) "that is just going into fear, I don't want to go into fear, I want to go into love". Unfortunately she's been relying on this for probably the last 20+ years and it hasn't got her anywhere. This is immensely frustrating and difficult to watch as an outsider and I know that it hasn't made her happy either.

If you look at the people who are selling this stuff they are making a huge amount of money from it. It's not just out of the kindness of their hearts. They know what they are doing and it's a manipulative venture just like many others. If it was harmless or net positive then I might say fair enough, but unfortunately I know enough of the darker side that I am highly cynical about the whole thing. There are actually aspects of a high-control group about a lot of this, especially when you look at a lot of the adjacent topics (spirituality, love-not-fear, this idea of energy being some kind of mystical force, faith or "energy" healing, lightworkers, starseeds, reject the "mainstream" etc.)

There are useful aspects to take from the idea, but please do not buy into the notion that "universal energy" is just waiting around for your intention to direct it into things. This is total nonsense and where all the harm comes from.

Choopa · 22/10/2023 12:24

@Gidrich to me it is 🙂
I have hard times too and difficult circumstances, but everything is not controllable. Manifesting is just energy. Where you put it, it grows. Positive or negative.

Linning · 22/10/2023 12:29

LylaLee · 22/10/2023 11:57

@Linning

You didn't have the same childhood as your brother.

You lived in the same house, went to the same school, had the same parents and ate the same meals.

But are you truly so lacking in imagination as to not understand how he could have had different formative experiences? Not anything earth shattered like bullies but just things like:

  • parents who didn't understand his needs as well as they understood yours, and maybe his needs were not being met.
  • dysthymia caused by chemical imbalance
  • a 'friend' who was actually subtly undermining
  • a teacher or someone who said something snide which stuck, like "you're never going to get out of bottom set." and he believed it.

Obviously those are random examples. There are hundreds of other formative experiences which could have given him a negative worldview. And a judgemental sister isn't helping, I'm sure.

Thank you for worrying about my brother but my brother objectively had an happier childhood than me, I don’t need to imagine what my brother’s childhood was like because I was there for all of it.

My parents are the reason I was abused (I was abused emotionally, physically and sexually as a child. My brother was not), I was the one who was kicked out of the home at 16, was refused therapy after my sexual assaults, was outed by my brother to our homophobic step-dad, and had a brother (him) who liked to call me an incestious slut who likes to get raped by family because he knew of the abuse.

My brother on the other hand was massively protected by our mom from any and all abuse, he was offered therapy sessions, didn’t participate around the house (financially or physically and was verbally abusive towards our mom and yet left the house on his own accord at age 26!), my mom has bailed him out financially more times than I can count sometimes to extent she had to borrow the money (including from me even though I haven’t had a cent from her since she kicked me out) some family friends and family members have their own company and they offered my brother jobs or linked him to internships, but he would just stop showing up after a day, he was selected to be in a football team (his dream!) and yet he would skip the trainings because he wanted to stay home and play video games, and just was interested in playing the soccer games not putting in the work to train a couple of times a week, so of course he got kicked out of the team. My brother was loved, understood and helped beyond what me and my other siblings ever got from family, he is not a little misunderstood guy who didn’t get support.

He is a boy who had an absent dad and yes not the perfect childhood but plenty of opportunities to get better and do better he didn’t appreciate them and in his case I do think he manifested his life because he stayed focused on the bad and despreciated every single opportunity he was given (frankly often on a silver plate) and didn’t appreciate the people who were there for him. I am no contact with him (as is everyone in the family now, minus my mom who will still bail him out if he needs) because he is a miserable person (verbally and physically violent) who lives a miserable life but could have had so much better if he tried.

Like I said we all have good reasons to be depressed and live in a hole, the mindset we have and our attitude to life and hardship we chose though, just like we chose to take the opportunities given to us or not. My brother might not have had all his needs met but he objectively had a lot more than me and a lot more than most of our other siblings be it financially, emotionally and physically.

So please. Yes he had reasons to have a negative world view (like any of us on the planet) but in the end he choses to be the person he is, and a lot of his misery now was brought 100% onto him by him through the choices and actions he made throughout his life and the many many bridges he chose to burn and the personality he choses to have.

themothergoose · 22/10/2023 12:30

Gidrich · 22/10/2023 10:52

I’m not telling you about your life- I’m telling you that thinking positively is not a global panacea for negative life outcomes.

There was no magical universe handing you good thing’s situation, that isn’t an opinion, it’s a fact. Magic is not real - there was a mixture of opportunity, good luck, hard work, optimism, support, determination, planning or goal setting and ability. These are the things that lead to positive outcomes-

if it was a matter of ‘being positive’, ‘putting good things out’ ‘rejecting negativity’ ’surrounding yourself in light’ and whatever other stuff is trotted out about manifesting, then no one would be in bad situations should they? Everyone would just think happy positive thoughts and have happy lives.

I think there's been a slight misunderstanding. At no point did I suggest that positive thinking is a universal solution to all of life's challenges. The notion of it being some sort of "magic" is a misconception.

Strip away the perceived mysticism, and what remains are practical, actionable steps that anyone can incorporate into their lives, regardless of whether they're praying, manifesting, or simply setting intentions.

Here are the key takeaways IMO:
Planning: Having a clear roadmap for what you want to achieve is crucial. It provides direction and purpose, ensuring you're not just aimlessly drifting through life.
Daily Affirmations: These are powerful reminders of your worth, capabilities, and goals. They reinforce your belief in yourself and your mission.
Consistent Motivation: It's essential to fuel your drive daily, pushing you closer to your objectives.
Positivity: Maintaining an optimistic outlook doesn't just boost your mood; it also magnetizes similarly positive people and opportunities towards you.
Outcomes: When you combine all the above elements, you significantly enhance your chances of success. In contrast, someone who doesn't plan, remains passive, and faces each day reactively is less likely to achieve their desired results.
In essence, it's about proactive living, setting clear intentions, and working diligently towards them. It's less about esoteric concepts and more about purposeful actions and a positive mindset.

Gidrich · 22/10/2023 12:41

themothergoose · 22/10/2023 12:30

I think there's been a slight misunderstanding. At no point did I suggest that positive thinking is a universal solution to all of life's challenges. The notion of it being some sort of "magic" is a misconception.

Strip away the perceived mysticism, and what remains are practical, actionable steps that anyone can incorporate into their lives, regardless of whether they're praying, manifesting, or simply setting intentions.

Here are the key takeaways IMO:
Planning: Having a clear roadmap for what you want to achieve is crucial. It provides direction and purpose, ensuring you're not just aimlessly drifting through life.
Daily Affirmations: These are powerful reminders of your worth, capabilities, and goals. They reinforce your belief in yourself and your mission.
Consistent Motivation: It's essential to fuel your drive daily, pushing you closer to your objectives.
Positivity: Maintaining an optimistic outlook doesn't just boost your mood; it also magnetizes similarly positive people and opportunities towards you.
Outcomes: When you combine all the above elements, you significantly enhance your chances of success. In contrast, someone who doesn't plan, remains passive, and faces each day reactively is less likely to achieve their desired results.
In essence, it's about proactive living, setting clear intentions, and working diligently towards them. It's less about esoteric concepts and more about purposeful actions and a positive mindset.

🤦‍♀️

This is the rhetoric used to obscure the negativity and damage of ‘manifestation’ being peddled by mlms, self help gurus, instagrammers etc, who make enormous amounts of money from this rubbish.

Linning · 22/10/2023 12:47

LylaLee · 22/10/2023 12:01

And you've clarified that he was a POC. Boys who are POC often have racist incidents as core memories.

But no. It's because he manifests negativity that he's not an amazing star like you.

I'm not saying you didn't have negative experiences as a gay POC person, but for various reasons, you did not allow that to destroy your self-esteem.

And yes my brother is a person of color, as are the rest of my siblings (3 of them boys) , we have all probably experienced discrimination. Of course his life was impacted by whatever he has experienced in life be it his childhood, racism and whatever else. And of course we all react differently to the same or similar events. But again, I do think mindset is a choice.

I am no star (that’s why I don’t give myself credit for my own winnings) but I would have every good reason in the world to spend the rest of my life crying and being “woo is me” if I stopped to think about stuff that have happened in my life (including stuff that were done by him) but I don’t. And it doesn’t mean he has to be like me but the whole point of the thread is that I do believe mindset can and do changes everything.

He is not a little kid now, he is a grown adult; who could get the help he hasn’t gotten if he feels that’s the case (and trust me even he doesn’t feel that way), so it’s his choice to stay stuck in the past and make decisions based on it if that’s what he is doing.

To be honest in the family I think we have all suffered a lot more emotional and physical trauma from HIM (living with his violence) than he has from us so I absolutely don’t spend much time feeling sorry for his childhood or his current life tbh. Of course he has issues that need resolving and I hope he get them resolved. But don’t we all?

if that makes me a terrible person that lacks empathy for her one sibling so be it. If you had lived my childhood alongside him and see him what he does to the people who care about and for him and love him I am pretty sure you would share my view.

LylaLee · 22/10/2023 12:48

@Linning

So basically: We both had an abusive childhood, but my abuse was worse. He should get over it, like I did. He has a miserable life now because of negative woo, not trauma. Sure. Got it.

Linning · 22/10/2023 13:01

LylaLee · 22/10/2023 12:48

@Linning

So basically: We both had an abusive childhood, but my abuse was worse. He should get over it, like I did. He has a miserable life now because of negative woo, not trauma. Sure. Got it.

lol thank you for having zero reading comprehension.

my point is: we all have traumas. Not just me and him. Everyone.

He doesn’t have to get over his trauma and I don’t think we ever get over trauma anyway; we learn to live with it, at best but it’s a choice. It’s a decision one has to make, and as an adult, he has choices. As a kid he had support but now as an adult he has choices.

So yes I do think he is the master of his choices when it comes to his trauma. He can get help, not get help. It’s his choice. I have no preference over his choices and no belief that he should do like me. He should do as he pleases which is what he is doing, I simply think our choices like our mindset determine a lot of what happen to us in life both positive and negative.

And I think it’s silly to think that one has no advocacy or choices in healing and doing better and becoming better, especially when one is a grown adult living in a country where mental health help is readily available and accessible and in many cases (which is his case) free.

LadyFlumpalot · 22/10/2023 13:09

I've spent two decades trying to manifest a jackpot winning lottery ticket into existence. No luck.

Managed to manifest a car accident on my first try though last year. We were out for a drive and I said to DH "careful of deer down this road" and five seconds later a deer ran out and wrote the car off.

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 22/10/2023 13:12

I definitely think asking the universe for what you want helps, it's a bit like praying.

For example I asked the universe for a new house, in a certain area with good neighbours and that's exactly what I got. However I also did all the other things you have to do in order to buy a house!

I asked the universe for a job in a specific niche within my profession and one came up almost immediately 🤷‍♀️

That said I've also been asking the universe for a kind, funny, rich man for the last 30 years and I'm still waiting 😂

When I was younger I was very into Louise Hay who has written several books on how your thoughts create what happens in your life. Now I definitely do not agree with everything she believes as there is definitely more than a hint of victim blaming but I do think thoughts are powerful how you experience your life.

For example, I'm a nurse and I can see two patients one after the other. The first patient believes the NHS is crap and all nurses are rubbish. They will look for any slight reason to confirm this belief, the nurses will feel uncomfortable during the visit and want it to be over as soon as possible.

The second patient is full of gratitude for nurses and believes they saved his life. They will only see the good in the nurses that come out to him and because those nurses appreciate the gratitude they will go out of their way to go the extra mile for this patient.

Exactly the same nurses and the patients have the same medical need.

uavdp · 22/10/2023 13:17

Mamai90 · 22/10/2023 00:40

Yes, I believe in it and I work it every day. I was always a very logical person and thought it was BS but three years ago for a number of reasons I tried it. If I showed you what I'd written down before it happened it would blow your mind. It's changed my life and I'm so grateful for that.

I never believed in it because what about people in war zones? How awful life is for some people etc. This was where I had a complete mind block. I can't answer those questions but it's made me realise that there is more to life than what we see.

The thing is about LOA is you can't dip in and out of it. You need to actively do it daily.

@Mamai90 i am really interested in this. Would you share what you do daily? I have found better things happen when I simply think in better terms, but I know that is extremely simplistic. I have a v logic based career but i believe there’s much more to life if we tap into it.

uavdp · 22/10/2023 13:20

@Girliefriendlikespuppies how did you do this though? Did you imagine the exact house you wanted? Did you draw it, write about it? The same with the job, do you just ask out loud once or what? Genuinely interested!

CornishClott · 22/10/2023 13:28

I do believe that happier positive people get treated better so they are more likely to get doors opened for them and people will help them more . Also I've noticed stuff that is out of control such as the weather etc favours them too ,

alwaysmovingforwards · 22/10/2023 13:40

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 22/10/2023 09:03

No of course it doesn't work. It's utter bollocks peddled to gullible fools, like all woo stuff. If feeling that you're 'manifesting' something makes you more focussed on your goal and makes you do things to achieve it, then of course that might make the thing more likely to happen, but that will be as a result of your efforts and changed attitude, not because you've persuaded the universe to magically produce what you wanted!

Agreed.
The sort of people suckered into this sort of thing normally lack decent anchor points in their own life and have their pockets picked buying these books or generating ad revenue by clicking on their links.
Direction and effort, coupled with self awareness and accountability with a dash of knowing how to maximise opportunities that present themselves is normally a better road to having the life you want 😂

alwaysmovingforwards · 22/10/2023 13:44

CornishClott · 22/10/2023 13:28

I do believe that happier positive people get treated better so they are more likely to get doors opened for them and people will help them more . Also I've noticed stuff that is out of control such as the weather etc favours them too ,

Sorry... you think the weather favours certain people?!?

😂😂😂

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 22/10/2023 14:19

uavdp · 22/10/2023 13:20

@Girliefriendlikespuppies how did you do this though? Did you imagine the exact house you wanted? Did you draw it, write about it? The same with the job, do you just ask out loud once or what? Genuinely interested!

I will close my eyes and ask for what I want in as much detail as possible, so for example with the house I said out loud (just to myself) I want a two bedroom house in this area, it needs to have a garden and good neighbours' I said that every night for a several months before the house turned up though!

I also find asking the universe for small favours works as well, things like finding a parking space or your keys 😁 if I'm ever driving around a car park loosing the will because there is no where to park I'll say out loud 'please universe help me find somewhere to park' and it always works!

LylaLee · 22/10/2023 14:22

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 22/10/2023 14:19

I will close my eyes and ask for what I want in as much detail as possible, so for example with the house I said out loud (just to myself) I want a two bedroom house in this area, it needs to have a garden and good neighbours' I said that every night for a several months before the house turned up though!

I also find asking the universe for small favours works as well, things like finding a parking space or your keys 😁 if I'm ever driving around a car park loosing the will because there is no where to park I'll say out loud 'please universe help me find somewhere to park' and it always works!

Funny how the universe does parking spaces, but the pleading of millions of suffering children (SA/war/cancer/etc.) and the pleading of their parents does nothing. Probably visualised the wrong thing.

Essenceofpetunia · 22/10/2023 14:28

If you drive around a car park for a while, there is an excellent chance a space will eventually become available. I don’t think it makes any difference what you’re thinking or saying while you drive round; or whether you’re being positive/negative. For example, I would usually be muttering ‘for FUCK’S sake, why can’t I just get a fucking space? I haven’t got time for this shit’, and lo and behold, one usually turns up shortly thereafter. 😂

Perhaps I could flog a range of books suggesting that people can make things happen by being irritable and negative?

themothergoose · 22/10/2023 14:46

Gidrich · 22/10/2023 12:41

🤦‍♀️

This is the rhetoric used to obscure the negativity and damage of ‘manifestation’ being peddled by mlms, self help gurus, instagrammers etc, who make enormous amounts of money from this rubbish.

There's no rhetoric - it's what most people do on a daily basis. Whatever you want to call it. praying, manifestation, meditation . . . most people don't buy books or pay for courses. I bet you do most of the above you just won't admit it.

themothergoose · 22/10/2023 14:47

Essenceofpetunia · 22/10/2023 14:28

If you drive around a car park for a while, there is an excellent chance a space will eventually become available. I don’t think it makes any difference what you’re thinking or saying while you drive round; or whether you’re being positive/negative. For example, I would usually be muttering ‘for FUCK’S sake, why can’t I just get a fucking space? I haven’t got time for this shit’, and lo and behold, one usually turns up shortly thereafter. 😂

Perhaps I could flog a range of books suggesting that people can make things happen by being irritable and negative?

It simply not how it works. It's not magic. You won't magic a car park space or anything for that matter.

Thewal · 22/10/2023 15:10

I w gone away and reflected a bit on this thread and actually feel really bad for starting it - because this is a bit of a belief system and I wouldn’t start a thread mocking anyone for their religious or spiritual beliefs.

But the reason why I started it was to see if there was any anecdotal evidence from the ‘common’ person rather than rich people who are being paid for be part of a documentary for a system that has made a lady very rich. It seems like there is manipulation going on surrounding this belief system.

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 22/10/2023 15:30

@Thewal-it's not a belief system- it's a bit of magical thinking that scammers have been making money out of the gullible with for ages. Google Louise Hay-she of you can cure your cancer if only you want to enough, and earlier Norman Vincent "if you're poor it's your own fault" Peele. Mock away!