Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ds2 wants an expensive birthday present

95 replies

Nomoreminecraftplease · 21/10/2023 19:31

Ds2 is 16 soon. He loves adult lego. He also loves star wars. He has asked for a star wars set that's 580 pounds! Thats way too much. He says its the only thing he wants. I've explained its too expensive. I'm out of ideas for alternatives its just such a lot of money and so close to Christmas aswell. Aibu?

OP posts:
nc14 · 21/10/2023 19:32

Could you do it as a combined birthday/ Christmas present? My birthday is in December and I had a lot of combined presents growing up! If not, could you make a contribution to it?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 21/10/2023 19:33

Any relatives getting presents you could ask
for money towards it from?

Hatty65 · 21/10/2023 19:34

I've got teenagers. I'd have simply laughed and said, 'Not a chance, mate. It's beyond the budget'.

Our limit is around £100. I'd have offered that in cash if he wanted to save up the rest. It's a daft amount to expect someone to spend on you, imo.

snatchabook · 21/10/2023 19:35

You may be able to find it cheaper secondhand?

Original poster
Nomoreminecraftplease · 21/10/2023 19:36

snatchabook · 21/10/2023 19:35

You may be able to find it cheaper secondhand?

Do you think so?

OP posts:
margotrose · 21/10/2023 19:36

Ask relatives to club together for it?
Combined Christmas and birthday gift?
Give him a voucher to put towards it and he has to cough up the rest himself.

Cherrysoup · 21/10/2023 19:36

He's being totally unrealistic (and thoughtless). That's a bonkers amount to consider spending. Tell him he'll have to save up and here's £100 towards it.

All2Well · 21/10/2023 19:37

Well, if you can't afford it, you can't afford it and he'll have to accept it. Tell him you're happy to contribute x amount but he'll have to come up with the rest. Has he got stuff he can sell? At 16 can't he get a little job if he wants really expensive things?

That's a huge amount of money for most people. It's not a bad thing to explain the cost of living to him and for him to realise sometimes we need to work for what we want.

Birch101 · 21/10/2023 19:38

As I kid I saw my dad's savings jar, one for pennies and 2ps the others for 5, 10,20s.
This was the money that was spent on presents.
Now he is 16 hes at an age when he can get a parttime job and will have to learn about budgeting and real world finances. Tell him what you allocate/budget for his birthday and Christmas and that he is welcome to Lego store vouchers which may expire or the cash and he can save and earn the rest.
Tell him to ask for the same from family e.g. grandparents

Wish they just did rent a Lego I'd love some but the prices are just beyond my reach

Cheesewiz · 21/10/2023 19:39

Look on ebay or Vinted, I just bought a hogwarts express lego second hand off ebay for a quarter of the price new

MargaretThursday · 21/10/2023 19:40

How much do you normally spend?

We do combined presents if something special is wanted. I wouldn't do more than 2 birthday and 2 Christmas though. We've also in the past said to the children that we'll give money towards and they can choose whether to save up or spend it on something else. They may also ask others to contribute It's about 50/50 whether they end up with it, but it's then their choice and it helps them realise the amount of money needed if they have to save up.

Birch101 · 21/10/2023 19:40

Rent lego!! May have it on there

Ds2 wants an expensive birthday present
Superscientist · 21/10/2023 19:41

My bosses kids are slowly selling all of their big lego sets now they are adults so definitely have a look on second hand spaces.

If it is beyond what is a sensible present I would offer up a set amount and what will be on offer for a Christmas present. Speak to any grandparents to come in too.

My family quite often do group presents. It means one present that someone really wants rather that 4 that wouldn't necessarily be used and people don't feel the need to overstretch themselves. People now ask as it's become more normalised

Fionaville · 21/10/2023 19:43

It is a lot. How much do you usually spend on him for birthdays and Christmas?

Searchingforaunicorn · 21/10/2023 19:44

At 16 he’s more than old enough to understand that this is a big ask.

I would give him money towards it plus a small cheap gift or two and then it’s his decision whether to save for it or use savings/ money from other relatives. If he has to spend his own money he might think more seriously as to whether it’s good value /wanted that much.

FirstFallopians · 21/10/2023 19:44

Is it the Attack Cruiser he’s after?

it’s not even out yet, so no chance of getting it second hand.

Motomum23 · 21/10/2023 19:45

Depending on how much you usually spend I would consider a joint xmas/birthday present... but if its over budget and he doesn't want anything else offer the cash alternative to what you spend on presents and he will have to work and save for the rest.... might make him reconsider how much he wants it iykwim.

Original poster
Nomoreminecraftplease · 21/10/2023 19:47

Fionaville · 21/10/2023 19:43

It is a lot. How much do you usually spend on him for birthdays and Christmas?

Depends. I have spent more on consoles at Christmas for instance. But usually no more than 150 for birthdays. Maybe a bit more at Christmas for a bike etc

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 21/10/2023 19:49

Just give him cash towards it. Don't buy him something he doesn't want just because it's in budget.

OliveToboogie · 21/10/2023 19:50

Just say No. That's an outrageous amount for plastic bricks.

DaftQuestionForToday · 21/10/2023 19:53

OliveToboogie · 21/10/2023 19:50

Just say No. That's an outrageous amount for plastic bricks.

@OliveToboogie

I bet he'd think you spend an outrageous amount in make up.bags/shoes/clothes/horse...whatever YOUR thing is.

paisley256 · 21/10/2023 19:54

Is that the new UCS Venator OP? My 17 year old would like it but wouldn't ask me for it as he knows we don't have that kind of money and even if we did he knows we dont spend those kinds of prices on gifts. He's happy to save his own money.

Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 21/10/2023 19:56

Surely he understands about a budget? Does he have savings and you can go halves?

Fionaville · 21/10/2023 19:56

Nomoreminecraftplease · 21/10/2023 19:47

Depends. I have spent more on consoles at Christmas for instance. But usually no more than 150 for birthdays. Maybe a bit more at Christmas for a bike etc

Show quote history

Similar to me then. It's a tough one! Do you usually go out for a birthday meal or anything? I'd perhaps say that this will be his entire birthday money. So no meal out or anything. I bet he'd be happy to spend his birthday just building the lego anyway. And that his Xmas present will be a lot less. It costs the same as a console and game, so just switch his Xmas and birthday budget round, if that's what he decides.