To be considering private school at reception?

[Aramist]

We live in a small village which happens to have a really good private school 5 minute walk away. We've looked round, talked with the teachers, done our research. Loved it.

We've also looked around the nearest state school, which is a 5 minute drive away. Also a nice school, headteacher brilliant. Lots of recommendations.

The thing is, even though we can comfortably afford it, the class sizes at the private school are tiny. We're talking maybe 6 or 7 kids per year group. I think there are something like 20 (if that) kids in the whole of key stage 1. I can see that being a lovely thing, family feel and the attention my DD will get would be great, but I worry about her socially as I can see her being a quiet and sensitive child at school.

With the state school, each year group has about 30. Big classes. I work in state and have a class of 30 and it's hard work, can be chaotic and I just can't give every child the attention they deserve. I'd also worry with her potentially being quite quiet she'd get a bit 'lost' in a big class like that, but at least she'd have local friends (not necessarily in same village though).

The other issue is if we moved house. Our house isn't necessarily our forever home but we're happy for now.

I'm torn. Any words of advice?

Just to add the older classes in private school are much bigger, especially in senior school.

How far would you consider moving and would it make the commute to the private school impractical?

Personally if I had the money I'd choose the smaller private school and review if my circumstances changed. You can't plan for every eventuality.

No brainer for me - lovely affordable school on your doorstep.
My only consideration will be, can you afford the fees for all future children.

I work in a tiny primary (year groups of 2-10 children) and send my quiet, summer born son to a two-form entry, 30 kids in a class primary. It has been BRILLIANT. I am massively cynical about state schools given all the cuts we've had, but I've often said my child couldn't have had a better reception year even if we'd paid thousands for it. Literally can't fault the school and he has absolutely thrived and found a little group of friends. I'd not be so quick to dismiss tbe local school.

A class of 6 or 7 is tiny. Not much scope for varied friendships.
Is the school financially viable?

Start in the local state school. Give it until at least Christmas and evaluate at that point.
I say that as a mum whose 3 daughters went private. No school is perfect, so you might as well give the free one a chance!
I'd be concerned about a possible lack of friendship opportunities in the tiny private school. And it being a very unrealistic cocoon to the rest of the world.

We have always fancied moving somewhere a bit more scenic, which is doable round here especially as the private school has minibuses picking up children within a 30 mile radius.

But honestly, we're not sure where we'd like to move to, if we did. Driving to school isn't ideal so that would have been a factor, a school in walking distance.

It's much easier to go from state to private than the other way round. Imagine getting used to the difference in class sizes!

I don’t think it’s ideal to have so few children in a reception class. My kids went private but they had 16 at the least. And they needed that many to find a few friends they really loved.

You could always move schools later

Weirdly I don't know. I think they get their money from the older kids. From about year 5 onwards the year groups are much bigger. A local friend has a daughter in year 10 and there's 40 in that group.
I think the lower juniors is small because everyone thinks it's too small so send their kids state until year 6 then go private.

Secondary schools around here aren't great.

I would never send my kids to a tiny school. Any bullying problems are amplified and it is socially limiting. Private schools are more socially limited in general.

I specifically chose a bigger primary to give a big range of possible friends. It worked very well.

I wouldn't want my DD to be in a class of 6 - what if there's a falling out? What if they don't get on with the other kids? It's also very noticeable if they are behind/not as good at an area as other children. At least in a class of 30 you'll generally get a mixed bunch.

Surely an intake of 6/7 children per year isn't sustainable for the school. I'd be concerned about finances and what that means if the school closes.

A class of 6 is way too small. Having had my kids in a one form primary (30/class) I’d even say that’s too small. I really don’t think it helps (most) people to exist only in such tiny groups, unless they have serious sensory needs.
Without doubt I’d go for the state option!

Yea good points. Part of me thinks though that surely bullying would be far more noticeable in a small group and would be stamped out quicker?

My ds went to a state primary with a yearly intake of 15. It was fine for reception and yr 1 but by year 2, the lack of choice of friends was already a restriction on ds. By yr 6 he was pretty bored and frustrated.

Also, what's the boy:girl ratio in these tiny classes? Realistically, that could also hamper friendships even more.

No idea but judging from social media it seems quite mixed.
Our DD always seems to play with boys anyway!

Private / state aside that class is too small. A family member had a miserable time trapped with mean girls for years in a tiny village primary as there were literally no other friendship options.

I think the reason I'm torn is because of the amount of attention academically she'll get in a small class. I feel like that's so valuable.

It really depends on what your village is like. If the school will be the only chance of making friends then it could be an issue. But if the village has other options to be social then you don't need to worry so much.

My son doesn't go to the village primary but we have a nice local pub and a cricket club so he got chance to make friends with the village kids there.

Yea I do worry about that.

Definitely go with the state school. Do what everyone else seems to be doing and put her in the private school for secondary when the classes are bigger and the school is a bit more established.

Academics aren’t that important in KS1 - much more important is the social aspect and learning to cope in the big bad world without mummy. The state school would prepare her more for that.

40 kids in Y10 is very very small. Socially, that’s very tough but also numbers like that mean that GCSE choices can be limited, opportunities for team sports, etc. In a secondary that small, you will find a lot of lessons delivered by non-specialist teachers. It just won’t be affordable.

With numbers that small across the whole school, I wouldn’t assume it was financially viable.

We know alot of people in the village. We go to the pub quite alot and there's a good community feel. Events on at the village hall.
Not loads of kids, but we're gradually getting to know other families.
Interestingly quite a few in the village that go to the private school, but mostly older.

We have friends who live in the next village with similar age children.

It's not too bad.

30 in a year is still pretty small! That would still only be 15 girls. In terms of friendships, I’d worry that 6 children is a tiny cohort. I would run a mile from that honestly.

There are 50 in DS’s year (2x25 classes), and he knows everyone, has plenty of friends, the teachers and headteacher all know him by name (the headmaster came up to say hi to him in the park over summer). He really hasn’t been lost at all, and he is a shy gentle boy who wouldn’t push himself forwards.