To think this colleague was rude?

[Redcloudsinthesky]

We both work as long haul cabin crew. We are based at London Heathrow but live up north in Cheshire. We were both on the same flight so she asked if we could share a car to Heathrow and back home from Heathrow after we get back so I agreed. She wanted me to drive and use my car so I agreed. In the end she spent the whole drive complaining about everything, the music, the window, the car, pretty much everything. I just think it’s a bit rude to ask someone to drive you and then complain about absolutely everything. She was literally complaining every few minutes the whole way to Heathrow and the whole way home.

You know it's rude.

Yes very rude.

That's awful - it's such a long way. I would have snapped at her. So now do you have to give her a lift back? I have to say I wouldn't do that.

“Rude” doesn’t quite cover it. Wasn’t there anywhere convenient on the drive where you could have chucked her out of the car? Or left her stranded at motorway services?

We are already back. The lift down to Heathrow was earlier this week.

Not on the way back, I do the drive home without stopping to be honest.

Yes very rude.

I nearly did snap at her but was mindful not to cause an argument as we had to work with each other on the plane/get along on the layover down route.

The drive home was in the evening.

she literally complained about every single thing non stop all the way to Heathrow and back.

Don’t do it again and if she asks list all the things she complained about and say you found it really tiresome to listen to.

I think she was expecting me to drive all the way to Heathrow and back with no music, no window open and in complete silence the whole time. At one point she was complaining about the car “it’s different to my car” (her exact words)

What was wrong with the window?

I’ve never worked with her before, part of me hopes we don’t work with each other again.

I normally do the drive home with it open but she didn’t like that and was mentioning it every 30 seconds or so the whole way home.

Yes, just say, 'you complained the whole way, about A ; B; C; D. You were clearly unhappy. I won't put you through that again.'

I'd have mentioned it at the time but in a jokey tone with a smile on my face. Something along the lines of "you can go off people you know!! I'm doing you a favour here and these complaints are beginning to make me think you don't realise it!"

Hope she gave you petrol money.

She was very ungrateful. Your lesson, no lifts for her going forward. If she asks why not tell her she was rude and ungrateful.

Nope no petrol money.

So….where’s the AIBU here? She was rude. You know it.

She left a complete mess in the car as well. Rubbish everywhere.

God she just gets worse!

Any other time just tell her you're not going straight home cos you have relatives who've just moved to Surrey or something

Lesson learned. Don't share with her again. If she asks again say "no thanks, I prefer a peaceful quiet drive as it grounds me after a shift."

So in future, if she asks: 'you made it clear you didn't enjoy being with me in my car, so I don't think it's a good idea'.

That's beyond normal rude!