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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this colleague was rude?

94 replies

Redcloudsinthesky · 20/10/2023 22:16

We both work as long haul cabin crew. We are based at London Heathrow but live up north in Cheshire. We were both on the same flight so she asked if we could share a car to Heathrow and back home from Heathrow after we get back so I agreed. She wanted me to drive and use my car so I agreed. In the end she spent the whole drive complaining about everything, the music, the window, the car, pretty much everything. I just think it’s a bit rude to ask someone to drive you and then complain about absolutely everything. She was literally complaining every few minutes the whole way to Heathrow and the whole way home.

OP posts:
Original poster
Redcloudsinthesky · 20/10/2023 23:14

User976541 · 20/10/2023 23:11

What is OP’s colleague wanted to sleep though and couldn’t because of OP? I know that I wouldn’t be able to sleep on a motorway with the window open and music on.

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She definitely did not want to sleep. She never once mentioned wanting to sleep

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 20/10/2023 23:15

What is OP’s colleague wanted to sleep though and couldn’t because of OP?

Tough. If you cadge a long free lift off someone you don't get to dictate terms.

As everyone apart from you seems to know.

User976541 · 20/10/2023 23:19

ErrolTheDragon · 20/10/2023 23:15

What is OP’s colleague wanted to sleep though and couldn’t because of OP?

Tough. If you cadge a long free lift off someone you don't get to dictate terms.

As everyone apart from you seems to know.

I think the OP should have been more considerate of her colleague here to be honest. OP doesn’t come across like a friendly or welcoming person in my opinion.

User976541 · 20/10/2023 23:21

adjacenttoquiteafewspheres · 20/10/2023 23:03

Was the window wide open? On the motorway? Creating that horrible ear hurting whistling vacuum?

That was pretty inhospitable of you if so.

This. OP you need to consider that your colleague could have been in pain.

ErrolTheDragon · 20/10/2023 23:23

I think the OP was astonishingly generous to give this person a lift back up after she'd complained all the way down!

CharlotteStreetW1 · 20/10/2023 23:26

User976541 · 20/10/2023 23:21

This. OP you need to consider that your colleague could have been in pain.

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Are you the colleague?

NahNahKissHimGoodbye · 20/10/2023 23:27

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 20/10/2023 22:19

“Rude” doesn’t quite cover it. Wasn’t there anywhere convenient on the drive where you could have chucked her out of the car? Or left her stranded at motorway services?

Exactly what I would have been tempted to do!

User976541 · 20/10/2023 23:29

CharlotteStreetW1 · 20/10/2023 23:26

Are you the colleague?

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No but I can see why OP’s colleague may have struggled with the journey in OP’s car. Who the hell has a window open on a motorway for 3 hours! And who has music on an evening drive after a flight when OP’s colleague may have just wanted to have a sleep.

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 20/10/2023 23:35

Window open, music on? Someone’s jet lagged and shouldn’t be driving. Why aren’t you using your ID90 for LHR-MAN?

BTW, yes, they were rude, probably too lazy to drive home, but simply say no next time.

Original poster
Redcloudsinthesky · 20/10/2023 23:38

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 20/10/2023 23:35

Window open, music on? Someone’s jet lagged and shouldn’t be driving. Why aren’t you using your ID90 for LHR-MAN?

BTW, yes, they were rude, probably too lazy to drive home, but simply say no next time.

I prefer driving and have done so for all the years that I’ve been in this job

OP posts:
Original poster
Redcloudsinthesky · 20/10/2023 23:38

User976541 · 20/10/2023 23:19

I think the OP should have been more considerate of her colleague here to be honest. OP doesn’t come across like a friendly or welcoming person in my opinion.

Show quote history

I can assure you that I am actually a very friendly person

OP posts:
Original poster
Redcloudsinthesky · 20/10/2023 23:39

ErrolTheDragon · 20/10/2023 23:23

I think the OP was astonishingly generous to give this person a lift back up after she'd complained all the way down!

I definitely won’t be doing it again.

OP posts:
Original poster
Redcloudsinthesky · 20/10/2023 23:42

User976541 · 20/10/2023 23:29

No but I can see why OP’s colleague may have struggled with the journey in OP’s car. Who the hell has a window open on a motorway for 3 hours! And who has music on an evening drive after a flight when OP’s colleague may have just wanted to have a sleep.

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To be absolutely clear my colleague never once mentioned that she wanted to go to sleep so I’m not sure why you keep going on about if she wanted to sleep

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 20/10/2023 23:43

To be absolutely clear my colleague never once mentioned that she wanted to go to sleep so I’m not sure why you keep going on about if she wanted to sleep

It's a Friday night, there's always one or two like that.

viques · 20/10/2023 23:44

Driver chooses music. Driver chooses temperature. That’s the law.

User976541 · 20/10/2023 23:49

viques · 20/10/2023 23:44

Driver chooses music. Driver chooses temperature. That’s the law.

I’m sorry but who the hell has a window open on a motorway for 3 hours?! That’s insane and OP’s colleague could have been in pain.

ErrolTheDragon · 20/10/2023 23:52

OP’s colleague could have been in pain.

Given she complained about everything, for sure she'd have said if that was the case. You're just making things up to be contrary.

ErrolTheDragon · 20/10/2023 23:54

As to the open window... in the not so dim and distant past before AC, it was entirely commonplace to have the windows open a bit during journeys.

DietrichandDiMaggio · 21/10/2023 01:15

I never drive in silence. If I have a friend in the car I'll probably turn it down when we are chatting. The default is the radio on, maybe an album for longer journeys, though with a passenger in the car I wouldn't have music blaring out for me to sing along to, I certainly wouldn't turn it off. On long journeys these days I often listen to podcasts as well, but probably wouldn't do that with someone else there.

Greenfinch7 · 21/10/2023 01:30

Music I don't like or don't feel like listening to just drives me crazy. I would never play whatever I wanted without asking my passenger.

Lookingatthesunset · 21/10/2023 01:34

Well you know not to do it again!

Lookingatthesunset · 21/10/2023 01:35

Greenfinch7 · 21/10/2023 01:30

Music I don't like or don't feel like listening to just drives me crazy. I would never play whatever I wanted without asking my passenger.

Wise up! You're being done a favour!!

Greenfinch7 · 21/10/2023 01:37

@Lookingatthesunset I wouldn't complain if I was the one being given a ride, but I would never play music if I were the driver without asking my passenger if they minded.

NoTouch · 21/10/2023 01:43

I don't think she was being unreasonable to comment on the open window on a motorway drive, that would be both annoying and painful on my ears.

What type of music were you playing and how loud, that combined with the open window makes for an uncomfortable drive and not very considerate of your passenger. Just because you are driving doesnt mean you need to be anti social too.

Pocodaku · 21/10/2023 01:44

User976541 · 20/10/2023 23:11

What is OP’s colleague wanted to sleep though and couldn’t because of OP? I know that I wouldn’t be able to sleep on a motorway with the window open and music on.

Show quote history

Again, I would take my own car in this case.

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