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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"you'll miss it"

115 replies

Boolshit · 19/10/2023 17:30

I hear/read all the time (when talking about toddlers), "enjoy the chaos, you'll miss it".

No, I won't! My house is a permanent shithole and I don't get a minutes peace. It's a full-time job just trying to keep the place tidy, forget about clean. Everything is marked, sticky and smeared. The washing basket is always overflowing, the dishwasher is never empty yet plates, etc. Are still piled up on the worktop. The walls are covered in scuffs, the door handles are loose/broken from being swung on... It's endless!

I understand missing their cute little faces, the affection, their voices, etc. But the chaos? Never!!! The screaming, demanding attention, tantrums, whining, sleepless nights... I won't miss any of that.

AIBU to think that this line is used by those wearing rose tinted glasses?

OP posts:
CesareBorgia · 19/10/2023 17:32

It sounds like Hell to me!

Squiblet · 19/10/2023 17:45

Yup, I don't miss the toddler years at all. Those were some difficult times. And no, they did not "fly by".

I do miss the times when the DC were 7/8/9/10 years old, though.

Original poster
Boolshit · 19/10/2023 17:46

CesareBorgia · 19/10/2023 17:32

It sounds like Hell to me!

It is!

OP posts:
Littlemissprosecco · 19/10/2023 17:47

Yes, but I do like looking back at the pictures

Original poster
Boolshit · 19/10/2023 17:47

Squiblet · 19/10/2023 17:45

Yup, I don't miss the toddler years at all. Those were some difficult times. And no, they did not "fly by".

I do miss the times when the DC were 7/8/9/10 years old, though.

I'm thinking I'll enjoy it much more when I'm not drowning in shit and forever wiping yoghurt off the walls 😫

OP posts:
CarrickBends · 19/10/2023 17:47

Why do you let them swing on the door handles? It sounds like they are running riot!

Cardiganwearer · 19/10/2023 18:08

Yeah, I don’t miss it. Mine are 24 and 16 now so I could easily be wistful by now but no don’t miss it at all. They were rough years and I agree they did not go quickly! Mine were exceptionally strong willed though! When I look at people with big families I think either the children are entirely different to how mine were or the parents are made of different stuff. I mean I think aww they were lovely but the actual day to day doing of it had to be got through, bless them.

Coffeerum · 19/10/2023 18:11

AIBU to think that this line is used by those wearing rose tinted glasses?

Honesty I don’t think so, I think once people have been empty nesters for a few years many of them would go back to the chaos in a heart beat. Not everyone obviously but a lot of people.

I love the toddler years while being in it. People are different.

crazycrimbolady · 19/10/2023 18:11

Are you okay? You sound really uptight.

Embrace it. Set boundaries so the children aren't swinging from door handles.

One day when you're babies are older and flown the nest you will look back on these days and miss the chaos.

Take care

PurpleBugz · 19/10/2023 18:15

It's not a universal truth but it is true for many of us

SisterMichaelsHabit · 19/10/2023 18:19

I thought "you'll miss it" referred to "the time when the children were little" not specifically the mess/chaos.

No one ever died wishing they'd done more housework though.

Aquamarine1029 · 19/10/2023 18:20

Do you have 10 kids?

Raspberryjamsandwich · 19/10/2023 18:21

I hear you, I've just gone to the shop to get milk with my two little ones in tow. (Had no other options). One has swiped the sweets at the till and when I took it off him he screamed the place down. The woman behind me in the queue laughed loudly and made a comment that humiliated me. Now I feel like I can't leave the house cos there's always some kind of tantrum or meltdown.
I'll miss their cute voices and cuddles and smiles but I won't miss how hard it all is.

AnneElliott · 19/10/2023 18:22

Agree I don't miss the toddler years! I guess some people are better at toddlers than others. I liked the baby stage and then from about 4 when DS started getting his own interests and wanting to go out places.

Vocaladvocaat · 19/10/2023 18:25

I look back in a mixture of awe and horror at how I managed with so many tiny humans at the same time. Also, massive relief that everyone is alive, healthy and even thriving!

Every now and then memories of when little 2 year old went to the top of the tallest climbing frame in the big park and wouldn’t come down or when another went through a “jumping off high things” phase.

Denimdreams · 19/10/2023 18:26

crazycrimbolady · 19/10/2023 18:11

Are you okay? You sound really uptight.

Embrace it. Set boundaries so the children aren't swinging from door handles.

One day when you're babies are older and flown the nest you will look back on these days and miss the chaos.

Take care

No need for snark

Mine have flown the nest and its absolute bliss coming home to a clean, tidy house and a fridge full of food.
We all get on great and in fact even better now

Littlemissprosecco · 19/10/2023 18:28

I used to live by “ all fed none dead”
I don’t miss it at all

Redlarge · 19/10/2023 18:29

I have not once missed it.

wintertimeisbest · 19/10/2023 18:30

Mine are 20-19 dont miss them days at all.
I was a single mum with no help but can admit my home was not a mess.
I keep on top of everything.
Had toys lay about but not mess.
How many kids you have.

TomatoSandwiches · 19/10/2023 18:30

My 7yr old is cognitively 18months, I've had a permenant toddler for quite a while and for the foresable.

It is extremely unpleasant and I can't have anything nice unless it's locked away and I have to remain hypervigilant all the time so my house doesn't resemble a fucking war zone.

Mummy08m · 19/10/2023 18:31

Yanbu.

Tbf though few of my friends/colleagues with older kids say this to me - they all agree it gets easier as the kids get older. When I used to talk about my toddler's escapades they'd just wince in sympathy and assure me it gets better. It's already got a (tiny) bit better now that dd is 3.

Yeah, no one can convince me I'll miss the whining. "Mummeeeeeee, mummeeeeee" aaargh!

EvilElsa · 19/10/2023 18:31

I don't miss the baby or toddler age (although my two were actually very easy) but I really do miss the 5-11 years. I have photos from that time frame as my laptop screen saver and I often feel a bit nostalgic for the years of father christmas and the tooth fairy and the funny little people they were. Don't get me wrong, I love my 16 and 18 year old and the easy life I now get parenting wise but I do look back with fondness.

Humidititties · 19/10/2023 18:33

crazycrimbolady · 19/10/2023 18:11

Are you okay? You sound really uptight.

Embrace it. Set boundaries so the children aren't swinging from door handles.

One day when you're babies are older and flown the nest you will look back on these days and miss the chaos.

Take care

No she doesn't, you sound like an arse though.

I don't miss it at all OP, love my kids to death but I'm so glad they're grown up now

EspressoMacchiato · 19/10/2023 18:33

I don’t miss any of it. At all.

One and done because it was so bloody traumatic.

stillavid · 19/10/2023 18:33

YANBU give me teens over toddlers any day of the week.