To have a shower with 6 month old in the bathroom

[Jelllytot]

Ok so I haven't had a shower in TWO days (DH is on a work trip) and was hoping to have one while my 6 month old was napping but she woke up before I could. Anyway, I fed her, changed her nappy, she was happy as Larry so I stuck her in her chair that has a busy board on it and placed her in the doorway of the bathroom.

Got undressed and started the shower. About a minute in she started crying very hard. Like she was scared 🥺 so I got out and cuddled her but she was looking at me like she wasn't convinced about me.

Is it abnormal to shower with very little babies in the bathroom?
She's breastfed so my boobs flopping out shouldn't have looked weird.
I mean I always have my hair up so maybe she saw a mass of big black hair around me and got scared?
Or maybe she thought the shower was attacking me?

But AIBU to have tried to shower with her in there?

I won't be doing it again because she seemed terrified but it wasn't something I thought was very wrong..

I would have never had a shower if it weren't.

Op if you have a baby bath, putting that in the shower and sitting the baby in, then spraying the baby with it a bit can help

I used to put mine on.the bathroom floor or when a bit older on the floor downstairs. If necessary get some stairgates or a playpen if you can't make the room safe. Cot would be fine but we had sleep problems so didn't want to risk upsetting routines there. It's fine to leave your baby crying for a few minutes while you have a quick shower as long as they are clean, fed, safe etc. Never feel guilty for looking after your own basic needs!

You know all those things like making lunch, tidying up from lunch etc you can do when she is awake right? I use to lie DD on a blanket on the floor or sit her in the high chair with some finger foods to play with while I was busy in the kitchen.

So did I.

Get a playpen.

I think we've all done it OP

I used to put baby on the bouncy chair and watch me

It’s fine! My ds hated it which is odd because he wasn’t clingy at all. If it’s quick then needs must!!

Some of us had/have babies that would scream themselves into vomiting if left alone.

OP, I wonder if it would perhaps be helpful to get some more help with your anxieties? How long ago was your CBT? Could you re-refer yourself to taking therapies/IAPT or a perinatal team? There are lots of really scary things about parenting, but sounds like your worries have had a big impact on reducing what you are able to do, and that you don’t feel good about yourself at the moment. Parenting doesn’t have to be like that.

I know with my kids: once they were sitting they often played in the base of the bath with toys while I showered (but mine loved water). Before that they were frequently in bouncers or on the play mat while I showered/cooked. Naps were for ME time. Cuppa/food/checking the phone/speaking with friends. Your routine at the moment sounds exhausting!

Mine laughs at me when im in the shower. Feels great!

I feel really guilty if she's awake and I'm not paying her attention... If I do need to cook or do something then usually I will bring her into the room I need to be in with a bunch of toys and her bouncer or play mat (and variations of these things).

But thank you for sharing how you did it. I find it almost a relief to hear how others do things like you do because it lets me know I can afford to relax a bit with how much attention I feel I need to give her.

The thing is, yes babies are needy…but they also need you to take care of yourself. If you end up sick, shattered tired, or totally burnout - then it makes it much harder to parent! For me, taking the time out for me helps me stay gentle playful and fun with baby/my kids. I’ve never seen it as being about meeting my needs - but about taking care of myself so I can take care of them!! It’s not selfish to need a break, or a shower. You’re a person too! Hope you can feel a bit better after this thread 🤞🤞

I agree with this. Your level of anxiety around your baby is over the top, and will do you no good.

Take care of yourself. Your baby wasn't scared or hurt, she just wanted your immediate attention. Denying her that for a few minutes is not going to hurt her, but it might hurt you in the long term if you allow everything you do to be governed by your child.

I have a shower with my 6month old watching and the 20 month old roaming around causing destruction.

Don't worry about it. Sing some some songs and hope for the best.