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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a shower with 6 month old in the bathroom

115 replies

Jelllytot · 19/10/2023 12:32

Ok so I haven't had a shower in TWO days (DH is on a work trip) and was hoping to have one while my 6 month old was napping but she woke up before I could. Anyway, I fed her, changed her nappy, she was happy as Larry so I stuck her in her chair that has a busy board on it and placed her in the doorway of the bathroom.

Got undressed and started the shower. About a minute in she started crying very hard. Like she was scared 🥺 so I got out and cuddled her but she was looking at me like she wasn't convinced about me.

Is it abnormal to shower with very little babies in the bathroom?
She's breastfed so my boobs flopping out shouldn't have looked weird.
I mean I always have my hair up so maybe she saw a mass of big black hair around me and got scared?
Or maybe she thought the shower was attacking me?

But AIBU to have tried to shower with her in there?

I won't be doing it again because she seemed terrified but it wasn't something I thought was very wrong..

OP posts:
Thesearmsofmine · 19/10/2023 13:56

It’s a normal thing to do. She was probably just a bit unsure if it’s a new thing for her.

sprigatito · 19/10/2023 13:59

She won't be horrified by the sight of your naked body, because she doesn't have any of the internalised misogyny and unrealistic expectations that you do. Gently, it's up to you to keep it that way. Your body is amazing and nothing to be ashamed of.

EasternStandard · 19/10/2023 14:00

Turn on the shower then bring her in to the bathroom?

Gradually get her used to the noise rather right there

ThinkingAgainAndAgain · 19/10/2023 14:00

My top tip when you have a baby of this age (it sort of stops working when they start crawling) is to get everything in place for you to have a daytime bath. Lift everything off the floor save for baby toys. Fill the bath whilst you’re in a different room with the baby. And then put baby on the bathroom floor with all the toys and get in the bath. It’s important to have the bath ready before you take the baby into the bathroom, so that you maximise the time you actually get in the bath!

Graciebobcat · 19/10/2023 14:01

Tohaveandtohold · 19/10/2023 13:04

I don’t understand how you haven’t had a shower in 2 days because there’s no other adult at home. I have 3 children and always have a shower every morning, it wakes me up.
when they were little, I woke up before them to shower but if not, I’ll just leave them safe in the cot and have my shower. Crying for less than 5 minutes won’t hurt really.

I don't shower for two days sometimes because I don't need to and I like to have some natural oils in my skin, thanks.

She might be a baby who is very sensitive to noise. DD1 couldn't stand a hairdryer or hand dryer until she was about 5 or 6 years old.

threecupsofteaminimum · 19/10/2023 14:04

Your body is the most glorious thing she knows, you literally created and birthed her, please don't speak about yourself like this.

Stephisaur · 19/10/2023 14:05

It was always 50/50 whether my son would get upset by being in the room while I showered or not.

I am not a shower every day kind of girl and generally shower at night, so it wasn't a regular occurrence for us. Usually DH would have him or I would shower once he was asleep.

On the rare occasion that I did need to shower in the day, I would sing nursery rhymes to stop him crying and also I would squeegee the shower door so that he could still see me, which helped I think.

Your DD will be fine, probably just irked her by not giving her your full and undivided attention for 5 minutes.

Flowers
Coolblur · 19/10/2023 14:06

I wouldn't have been able to wash for months if I didn't put DS in a bouncy chair at the bathroom door! Sometimes he cried, sometimes he slept, mostly he just played with the dangling toys. The only downside is now aged 10 he still thinks it's ok to waltz in and ask me questions!
Seriously, your baby is fine, as is your body and hair.

BoohooWoohoo · 19/10/2023 14:07

I know that you're a first time mum so prone to overthinking as we all did but is your shower a room that she's familiar with? Does the shower cubicle door make a sound when opened and closed ? Maybe it was the steam ?

The more you do it, the more she'll get used to it. It's ok for her to cry for a few minutes while you do essential stuff like showering flowers 💐

EatYourVegetables · 19/10/2023 14:08

OP: It’s ok to shower with the baby in the room. She won’t be traumatised.

If she seems scared, it might be the sound, the weird acoustics, the hair, the temperature. You could try to acclimatise her to each of these separately. My kid 1 was scared of hoovers.

Birch101 · 19/10/2023 14:08

I had to resort to baby in crib and miss rachel on for 10mins of singing whilst I showered with the door open.

WaltzingWaters · 19/10/2023 14:12

I always had my DS in a bouncy chair / ring whilst I showered. He usually enjoyed listening to the water running. Completely normal. Sorry your little one had such a scare from it. You could try it again. She may have just been confused or wanting something else in that moment.

SnapdragonToadflax · 19/10/2023 14:15

She'll be fine, it was likely the sound she didn't like. My son still doesn't really like the shower and he's 4. I used to leave him in his cot with a mobile going - would that work?

Your body is literally her favourite thing in the world, you made her and she loves you.

LuckySantangelo35 · 19/10/2023 14:17

“The more you do it, the more she'll get used to it. It's ok for her to cry for a few minutes while you do essential stuff like showering 💐”

This sums it up perfectly op @Jelllytot

dont neglect yourself!!

LolaSmiles · 19/10/2023 14:21

I'm another echoing what others have said, you're absolutely fine!

You also need to have a healthy dose of body positivity OP. You've grown a human and have a beautiful baby. Your body isn't grotesque or whatever other word you used. It's amazing! You're her mummy and that makes you the best person in the world to her.

Lavender14 · 19/10/2023 14:25

I have a little bath seat that my son sits in when I have a shower. I just strip him off and angle the water away from hitting him directly and he loves it. Plus great opportunity for skin to skin. He loves feeling the spray.

Toddlerteaplease · 19/10/2023 14:25

Just put her in her cot so she's safe and have a shower. A bit of crying won't hurt her.

Toothyfruity · 19/10/2023 14:25

Lovemychair · 19/10/2023 12:43

At that age I used to take dd into the shower with me and wash us both at the same time.

Would the water not be cold though? I think I need hotter than 38 degrees for my shower.

Lovemychair · 19/10/2023 14:32

@Toothyfruity it was just about bearable for me, if I showered in my own the water was the temperature of lava!

Ponderingwindow · 19/10/2023 14:35

I can’t figure out if this thead is earnest or a joke.

do you never shower with the baby instead of giving her a bath? Mine hated baths but loved showers. Much easier with a second adult though. I also liked to wear cotton gloves to hold her for extra traction, but I’m a bit prone to worry and they really aren’t necessary.

HikingforScenery · 19/10/2023 14:36

try singing to her or talking to her.
I don’t understand the not showering because of a baby but each to their own. I’m sure you’re doing your best!

Mariposista · 19/10/2023 14:38

35965a · 19/10/2023 12:46

Have a shower! If she cries then she cries, it’s a few minutes and will in no way harm her.

Absolutely this. Not showering for 2 days is disgusting, and totally unnecessary, unless your shower takes 3 hours.

Teegan89 · 19/10/2023 14:41

You are massively overthinking this. Sometimes babies cry and there is no logical reason for it. You did nothing wrong.

Seagrassbasket · 19/10/2023 14:44

The only way I had a shower in the early days was with DS in the bouncer in the bathroom! It was maybe just the noise, she’ll get used to it.

I promise it was not the sight of you naked!!

fearfuloffluff · 19/10/2023 14:44

Zero chance it was your body.

If you were behind a curtain or screen you could have looked weird. A bit of peepo might help. My DC love when I draw pics for them on the steamed up doors.

The sound might be a bit strange for her. Do it regularly and it won't be weird any more.

Jumping to the idea she's be crying because of the sight of you naked is a bit of a stretch. She's not a miniature Hugh Hefner!