Page 4 | To have just reported this to the school?

Bigfuzzywuzzybear · 2023-10-19T10:41:30+00:00

Anyone have any experience of this and what will happen next? ds13 was shown an explicit video at school of a child aged 13 having sex with another child. i have reported to school I previously reported to social services but nothing happened. will anything happened or will this just continue and we have to accept that we just live in this world ?

RubyBoozeDay · 19/10/2023 13:24

I find it hard to believe that a pornographic video featuring minors has been roundly ignored by the school, and the police state they are not interested.

Where on earth do you live?

DogInATent · 19/10/2023 13:25

I'm not sure how the OP expects the school/social services/Men In Black to stop the video circulating. Once it's got out into the digital world the horse has bolted. Just because it's still circulating doesn't mean that nothing is happening.

DeeKitch · 19/10/2023 13:27

It's heartbreaking and worse the kids are sharing it themselves. Police should have already removed their phones and school before that. They're all committing crimes and it's gutting they don't think about this being on the dark web forever. Do you know any of the parents?

BoogieBoogieWoogie · 19/10/2023 13:29

DriftingDora · 19/10/2023 13:14

I just cannot get my head around someone who would report something as serious as this and just let it lie. Surely you have a record of the date on which you reported it, who to, what they said the next step would be? If you reported it to the police, did you get the name/collar number of the officer? If you reported it to the school, why haven't you asked about it since and whether anything's been done? OK, they may not be willing to tell you, but surely would say it had been actioned - if not, you would follow it up - and if nothing has been done by the police, then a written or emailed complaint (copying in your local MP?) is surely needed? It all comes across as really passive.

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FFS you cannot win on this site - she's done too much...she's not done enough...
It's honestly ridiculous.

School told her they will pass it on social services - what more do you want beyond that?? Should she be asking for updates - no!

SinnerBoy · 19/10/2023 13:35

I'm surprised that the school say they can't do anything. Last year (Y5) my daughter was being targeted by a group of Y8s and they filmed and shared an incident.

The head made them show him the footage, then deleted it.

DriftingDora · 19/10/2023 13:40

BoogieBoogieWoogie · 19/10/2023 13:29

FFS you cannot win on this site - she's done too much...she's not done enough...
It's honestly ridiculous.

School told her they will pass it on social services - what more do you want beyond that?? Should she be asking for updates - no!

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You're obviously having a bad day, dearie - calm down. Should she be asking for updates? - YES, of course she bloody well should, if she's so convinced nothing has happened, use your brain. Oh, and in case this passed you by,... it's a forum - which means everyone is entitled to an opinion. Unless you are the self-appointed forum police, of course?

Inkpotlover · 19/10/2023 13:41

Bigfuzzywuzzybear · 19/10/2023 12:38

Exactly! I feel so frustrated that we live in a world where this can just be circulated and no one intervenes.

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When you reported it to the police and social services did you give them the children's names? Because without those, or the video itself, I'd struggle to see how they could investigate it fully. Yes, they could talk to the school, but unless teachers had seen it too, how could they ID them? Teachers can't exactly go up to random pupils asking if they've seen a video circulating that shows two kids having sex.

Original poster

Bigfuzzywuzzybear · 19/10/2023 13:44

MissyB1 · 19/10/2023 13:14

Well done for making an effort OP, lots of people (including some here no doubt) would shrug their shoulders and say “none of my business”. For those saying why did she wait two weeks? She didn’t she reported it to the police at the time. Because the video is still being shared at school she’s now questioning whether the police informed the school, so she has informed the school herself- although they don’t seem terribly interested….

OP make sure it’s not on your dc’s phone.

Thank you! Really can’t be bothered to answer all the posts bashing me when I have clearly stated what I have done.

no it’s not on his phone

OP posts:

BoogieBoogieWoogie · 19/10/2023 13:45

DriftingDora · 19/10/2023 13:40

You're obviously having a bad day, dearie - calm down. Should she be asking for updates? - YES, of course she bloody well should, if she's so convinced nothing has happened, use your brain. Oh, and in case this passed you by,... it's a forum - which means everyone is entitled to an opinion. Unless you are the self-appointed forum police, of course?

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Brain is fully engaged thanks but totally agree with the others saying do not follow up. She's done her bit in reporting to everyone.

Unless OPs child is involved in the video or sharing it then they will unlikely to be made aware of next steps

Carpediemmakeitcount · 19/10/2023 13:45

DriftingDora · 19/10/2023 13:40

You're obviously having a bad day, dearie - calm down. Should she be asking for updates? - YES, of course she bloody well should, if she's so convinced nothing has happened, use your brain. Oh, and in case this passed you by,... it's a forum - which means everyone is entitled to an opinion. Unless you are the self-appointed forum police, of course?

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I don't think she's entitled to an update she is not their legal guardians. Unless her child was harmed she has done all she can do.

DomPom47 · 19/10/2023 13:46

Report to local authority and Ofsted as safeguarding concern.

Original poster

Bigfuzzywuzzybear · 19/10/2023 13:47

BoogieBoogieWoogie · 19/10/2023 13:29

FFS you cannot win on this site - she's done too much...she's not done enough...
It's honestly ridiculous.

School told her they will pass it on social services - what more do you want beyond that?? Should she be asking for updates - no!

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I know.
and I haven’t asked for updates I know they won’t tell me not do I need to know but I AM questioning why the children imvolved continue to share. Is it too much to ask that my child go to school without all this? Are we really going to say there’s nothing anyone can do, at a video of this nature circulating. A video of children who cannot consent or understand the weight of what they are doing and the implications this will have on their future

OP posts:

Carpediemmakeitcount · 19/10/2023 13:48

DomPom47 · 19/10/2023 13:46

Report to local authority and Ofsted as safeguarding concern.

They won't do nothing it will get passed back to SS.

Carpediemmakeitcount · 19/10/2023 13:52

You could report to Ofsted and they will send it to SS and they will attend or ring the school. Maybe then the school will do something about it then. Your son still has to go to the school how far are you willing to take this? You may need to move him to another school.

Comeonbarbiebrianharvey · 19/10/2023 13:53

@Astababe Thankyou! I've been reading but thinking what... Elliebelle87 just seems to constantly attack the OP, it's getting weird.

Original poster

Bigfuzzywuzzybear · 19/10/2023 13:59

Inkpotlover · 19/10/2023 13:41

When you reported it to the police and social services did you give them the children's names? Because without those, or the video itself, I'd struggle to see how they could investigate it fully. Yes, they could talk to the school, but unless teachers had seen it too, how could they ID them? Teachers can't exactly go up to random pupils asking if they've seen a video circulating that shows two kids having sex.

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They have all the names the names of the groups details etc

pnly specialised police officers can view the material if anyone else does they are also guilty of viewing child pornography so they wouldn’t ask them anyway

OP posts:

Carpediemmakeitcount · 19/10/2023 14:05

They are still looking at the footage on their phones. I would let the school know and if it happens again inform Ofsted. Schools are terrified of them. You have done all the right things all you can do now is wait for it to happen again and then report to Ofsted.

Viviennemary · 19/10/2023 14:07

Report it to the police.

FrippEnos · 19/10/2023 14:11

As it still happening the OP can certainly continue to report it to both the police and school.

towriteyoumustlive · 19/10/2023 14:13

Bigfuzzywuzzybear · 19/10/2023 12:05

via telephone to the school

well this is my worry that it will just be left but in my eyes this is really serious

I'd always report things via EMAIL to the school, as then it is in writing.

Schools are chaotic places so phone calls often get forgotten!

I'd follow up with an email, stating that you phone 2 weeks ago to report child pornography being shared within the school, and that as you have been made aware that video is still being shared, you thought you'd follow up your phone call with an email to check that something is being done.

321user123 · 19/10/2023 14:16

Did you not read the OP? 🙄

TheaBrandt · 19/10/2023 14:20

What more can the op do? It’s not her child involved. Report to the authorities what else can a random member of the public be expected to do? Odd responses.

stillplentyofjunkinthetrunk · 19/10/2023 14:21

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

this

Startyabastard · 19/10/2023 14:41

You are right, it's absolutely fucking hopeless.
You've done all you can. I'm annoyed for you!!!
Children watching videos like that I'd very damaging as you can imagine.

LuluBlakey1 · 19/10/2023 14:44

I think this will be on a long list of things like this which are reported daily to police and social services and schools.

They should act on it but it could take a while.

Sex between 2 x 13 year olds is not unusual. Nor is them filming it and sharing it. There are lots of questions that need answered about context- Were they both consenting? Do they both know it is being shared? Was anyone else present? Was there coercion? Are either of these children already known to social services and regarded as vulnerable? Is there evidence of previous similar behaviour? Is she pregnant?

I think parents generally, would be horrified if they knew what, and the amount of what, schools/police/social services deal with on a daily basis.

It is a complex issue with many facets for each agency.

I dealt with something similar as a Deputy Head 10 years ago, with two 16 year olds and a video of them having sex which they had shared and was being blu-toothed around a group Y11 boys in their friendship group. Called the police, informed local authority safeguarding lead. Police came in, scared them, made the whole group wipe their phones, warned them about what they were doing. (But it would still be out there somewhere). Took names and addresses. Took the two involved in the video home, spoke to their parents. Parents shocked. There were no other concerns for social services. It was an established relationship. No coercion- and they just showed it around. Obviously, they were over the age of consent but it was 10 years ago and less common then. It is much more common now.

I think it needs a multi-agency approach to look at the circumstances of and protecting the two involved, but if it's out there I can't see what they can do to stop it now. Teenagers watch porn. If they watch it, the rest follows. It's a society issue. As usual, no one took any notice of the people who said it was a bad idea to make phones/computergames/internet/ porn/vapes/alcohol/drugs so common and accessible.

How many people here access it? Play violent computer games? Send sexts? And possibly daily. It's part of millions of lives. It's part of teenagers lives. Impossible to police.