Those cool, messy, usually wealthy mums

[Shessodowntoearth]

I want to be one 😅
Does anyone know the type?
Usually quite a few kids, at least two, kids are lovely, but generally quite messy/put together in a kooky way.
Houses are beautiful, but messy/disorganised, beautiful pieces everywhere/decoration but with a lived in/messy vibe. The mums are the same, usually seem quite disorganised but chilled out at the same time, generally away somewhere every school holidays and don’t work.
I know quite a few mums like this near me and wonder what this life is like, mainly the having more money. I’d love to be as laid back if people come around, to not care about the mess as the house is so incredible, to not worry if my kids clothes look scruffy in a cool way and to be comfortable in myself. Is this what happens when you come from money?

Hooplahooping
I agree with you, especially on this:
I think it’s easier to not sweat the small stuff though if you aren’t worried about money and are really comfortable in your own skin / in your ‘social position

I'm most definitely not rich with an average house in a nice area, but I don't feel the need to sweat the small stuff because I don't generally hang around with people who are going to turn their nose up at me if DC have stains or faded knees on their trousers. I'm not kitting them out in immaculate coordinated outfits and binning perfectly acceptable clothes to satisfy some image-obsessed people who think it's scruffy for children to have evidence of playing. I'd say I'm comfortable in myself not to sweat the small stuff and if someone's offended by a bit of dust on a skirting board then they're probably not my type of people.

Count towards what? Middle class stereotypes? Did you think there weren’t middle class people in the north of England? 😂

Absolutely. Obviously I don't actually know HBC, but I think it's a case of people curating their image to be like her rather than the other way round.

If someone is wealthy and doesn’t work but they’re messy and disorganised, then I’d think they’d gone very wrong somewhere and I’d be judging them for it.

Its definitely not something I’d aspire to be.

Why is it ok for a wealthy family to be messy and have messy kids but not someone with a low income?

Has anyone read Barbara Trapido? I devoured her books as a teen and found lots of upper class women like this portrayed. I’d love to be like this! Highly educated and bohemian with pots of money in my messy house surrounded by mop haired feral kids. In reality, I’m far from upper class and far too uptight to live like this!

In real life I’d imagine Jools Oliver to be a bit like this despite knowing virtually nothing about her!

Oh my dear your ignorance is staggering! The Cheshire triangle is one of the most affluent areas of the UK! Being in the cobbled area of the M6 is very deceptive.

Oh OP that would be me if only I was very rich, beautiful, privately educated and confident. I excel at being messy, unfortunately I feel hugely embarrassed about it.

I wouldn’t say it’s anything like Motherland really, definitely not like Amanda. Also, no kitchen islands…that’s a different feel, more huge, beautiful, wooden tables, centrepiece in the middle, that looks stylish but as if it’s half thrown there, for example, my friend had two large pumpkin ornaments and bits around it, I have one quite similar with candles around, but it just doesn’t look the same 🙈
Also, no nannies

I’d say maybe closest to what @Papyrophile describes, possibly not too farmy/horsey, although kids likely do Horseriding, the family plays a joint sport-padel perhaps
Mum often good looking though and not much make up, husband rarely around, often in another country. Mums mum (kids grandma) often around/there to stay and very lovely and not grandma ish looking at all

Don't count as what??

I always think of Paula Yates and Bob Geldof, and their 3 children - a cluttered but classy house, kids almost feral, (although secretly had a very reliable nanny) Paula always stylish and quirky, rockstars popping round for a drink, kitchen suppers with famous people.

And look what happened there.

…look at it and conclude what?

@KweenCnut I watched that! What an incredible place Jodie Kidd lived in. And managing to look fabulous in trackies and a hoodie!

This does describe me in many ways.

However, I’m ND and an academic, been very poor and now very comfortable as DH’s business doing well. I literally don’t care what people think of what I’m wearing. I don’t like the feel of a lot of clothes and make up. I have horses so invariably in a dirty jumper and jods. I drag on a jersey dress and leggings for work, but rarely wear make up. Fortunately, academics are exempt from the pressures to look made up. I can’t be bothered to deal with my car or house as there are so many more interesting things to do in life. I keep my stables tidy though!

My DH is the same. Once his business started doing very well, his only concession was to upgrade from buying clothes Primark to TK Maxx. He raised various millions for his company and celebrated With a new pair of swim shorts.

One of my best friends mums was like this. They lived in an absolutely massive house! It was the main house on a high street in a little village and it was called something like “The Hall” or something that made it sound grand.

The house was always a bit scruffy but it suited her mums personality and she used to drive my friend to school in her pyjamas. My friend used to also have endless lunch money and she’d end up buying me lots of treats on the way home from school cuz my lunch money never stretched that far.

I think her mum worked though, maybe self employed or from home because her mum was always around to pick her up and drop her off - she kinda had to because of their village location.

Her mum was always very stylish but looked scruffy at the same time. But had quite few designer pieces of clothing etc.

@afrikat Yes, I understand that comment either 🤷🏻‍♀️I was raised very close to Didsbury & Chorlton…people can have money and old school money from the North too…shocker!

Absolutely agree. The state of some of these posts.

as for ‘Beagling’ - isn’t that illegal? The chasing and wearing down of poor hares and rabbits until the dog can kill them? Nice.

@GlobalCitz nope, not a spoof just everyday life for a frazzled single mum, and I've no idea about what UC looks like as I don't care about people's socio economic hang ups, either. Life is what it is.

Just to prove I'm not beyond all hope though, I've just ordered lunch from the deli across the road and before I went to pick it up, I brushed my hair and removed the toothpaste stain from my top. I usually wouldn't have bothered so I am trying! 🤣

We have met families like this on holiday. The absolute mess the kids make at breakfast whilst the parents sip champagne and then they all walk away with ne'er the slightest embarrassment at the mess and chaos left behind. It made me think they were used to this lifestyle as they weren't rude or anything it all seemed quite natural and taken for granted someone else will clear up their mess. Whereas I always tidy up, if a pastry or napkin was dropped on the floor I would pick it up immediately.

*Didnt understand that comment

Not gonna read through 8 pages but you’re describing Clover Stroud OP. Look at her house on insta from before she recently moved to the states. I love it!! I have the messy vibe but can’t curate it like that (and don’t have money 😄)

All these excuses are hilarious. Just clean your skirting boards and scrub your bathrooms, it won’t take long and be so much nicer for everyone. And yeah, you do care. Of course you care!

Yes, exactly how I feel.

I think in my case it’s generational, I can see how that “keeping up appearances” mindset has passed down through my family as each generation has done slightly better than the one before (in money/education terms) since living in grinding poverty in the early part of 20th C.

I’m not judging anyone who is different, I’d genuinely like to be more easy going about housework etc (within reason ) and I do try but I just can’t and I’ve also married someone just like me. When the reception teacher came to the house for the preschool visit for my oldest we tidied and cleaned so it was absolutely perfect and then panicked it all looked far too clinical and not child friendly so took all the toys out again 🙄 I know full well the teacher would not care one iota but I couldn’t help it.

I'm wrapped round a large Malbec and a cuddly chap in a country pub

Do you also write trashy, romance novels in your free time?

And I live in a v leafy road SW9 so I see these scummy types a LOT.

@CharlieBigPotatoes1, no of course its not illegal, whatever gave you that idea?

The hounds follow a trail laid by humans and in fact, because they are so many generations down now from the hunting ban, the killer instinct appears to have been bred out of them. I've been in a field with a beagle pack and seen two hares approach out of the corner of my eye. I was starting to move towards the hounds to distract them but the hounds just looked at the hares, the hares looked back as if to say good morning, and both hounds and hares went about their business. I'd honestly be more worried about my elderly Springer chasing a hare than those hounds. And yes, it is nice, it's a lovely way to spend a Saturday afternoon actually, watching hounds sniff out a trail and follow it is actually quite therapeutic and it certainly keeps you fit!