Those cool, messy, usually wealthy mums

[Shessodowntoearth]

I want to be one 😅
Does anyone know the type?
Usually quite a few kids, at least two, kids are lovely, but generally quite messy/put together in a kooky way.
Houses are beautiful, but messy/disorganised, beautiful pieces everywhere/decoration but with a lived in/messy vibe. The mums are the same, usually seem quite disorganised but chilled out at the same time, generally away somewhere every school holidays and don’t work.
I know quite a few mums like this near me and wonder what this life is like, mainly the having more money. I’d love to be as laid back if people come around, to not care about the mess as the house is so incredible, to not worry if my kids clothes look scruffy in a cool way and to be comfortable in myself. Is this what happens when you come from money?

I don’t know any - it sounds very specific!

I am messy but I work full time and am not wealthy. We go away whenever we can though.

I don’t know how much clearer a demonstration of ‘caring what everyone else thinks’ you could make than posting this on the internet tbh.

I think that was a spoof post! I laughed at the part about cracking on with the vacuum cleaner.

God, some of these houses sound awful 😩

Ramshackle houses thick with dust, kids with stained clothes, wild hair on 'spirited' children...

Give me my small house, always tidy, children looking well turned out any day. And people like us can still 'make memories' and their kids have a great life without looking like street urchins living in a beautiful house 🤔

There's a dishonesty about the mindset that says "I don't give a shit what my kids' clothes look like". The subtext is "because I'm rich enough that I know no one will judge me for it."

As no one will check your bank account in the street and strangers have no idea who you might be, of course it's not true.

Some people genuinely do. no. care.

Some of the posts are deliciously toe curling.

Just like on Motherland...

I've met plenty since I married DH. All living in large farmhouses.

Very common ime. I guess many have a housekeeper/cleaner/nanny, so very rarely do anything themselves and when things get messy they stay that way until the hired help sorts it out.

There were lots of these women when DC were at prep school. Usually beautiful, rarely wearing make-up, generally dressed for riding or gardening or farming. Inherited houses, just a shade off stately homes, fearsomely competent and had mostly done "big jobs" before marriage and taking the kidsters to the country. DH is still working for Goldman Sachs and stays in the London house during the week. Whether you were included depended on how you (and your DH/DC) were perceived. I fitted, DH didn't.

Most of the time it just feels performative (and a tired clichê at that).

I'll never really make peace with this sort of boho class signalling

Boho class signalling! 😂

I thinks it's more there are 3 pairs of gym shoes which would fit each child, so finding a specific shoe is less of a big deal.

I'm self employed and have clients like this. I often came across them when teaching too.

They are often rude, entitled and look down on people. They cause me stress, inconvenience me and often don't pay on time. But all done with a charming smile and lots of, "aren't I scatty..." giggles.

I don't understand why anyone aspires to be like them.

The reason the kids are 'free spirits' is because the parents CBA to parent them - that's the nanny's job, and if they don't have one, then Coco and Hector can just do whatever the hell they want and it's passed off as being 'spirited.'

It's rich people cos-playing 'I Capture The Castle'.

In that neck of the woods there are also many examples of the opposite, lettuce lunch, Botox, false tan, nails, boobs etc., everything has to be instagram perfect, they don't work because they've bagged a rich man and they also can't fit working into their social schedule and work would be hell on their plastic nails! I'm sure we all know the particular area.

The thread reminds me of Army wives, those whose husbands have done the Officer entry route tend not to give a monkey's, pj's at the bus stop etc., whereas the wives of those promoted from the ranks are incredibly house-proud, everything has to be just so.

@ursiebear 😁 sadly it wasn't, it was the carnage that is my daily life but it was meant to answer the 'there's no excuse' and 'what else are they doing?' type posts. I've spelled out very clearly what else I'm doing and I'm happy with my choices 😉

Not everyone aspires to be Mrs Hinch and having been brought up in old houses full of antique furniture and books it just seems normal to me. Not that my mother didn't have other issues 🙄 but my dad would rather have me at the races for the day than sat in front of the TV in the 80s or before he got ill we'd walk along the cliffs near to home and spot grass snakes or go for tea and a toasted tea cake somewhere. He died when i was 18 and now all I've got are those memories.

One of my earliest memories is being wheeled down the street in a Victorian armchair that had just been bought at auction and it was the easy way to get us both home. Its just how we rolled, literally!

We all do things differently, as a divorced single mum time is very much a luxury, I have one son that wants to go to the army foundation college at 16 so will board for year 12 and then join up, and one that wants to do an apprenticeship in a racing stables in year 12 and will live in. I have literally months left living as a family of 3, every second is precious to me and if the rest of the world wants to judge my dust then again, they can crack on with their fabulosa or whatever smelly cleaning stuff is all the rage, I genuinely give not one hoot!

I've had this too. The children's clothes I was handed down (unasked for) in similar circumstances were so worn, some had rips and and had bad stains round the necks and the sleeves. The giver was also a wealthy, educated type.

It threw up all sorts of points in my head. I wouldn't have passed that poor a quality of clothes to another mum personally.

If the person who passed me the clothes was confident enough to do it (they also said "Saves me a trip to the charity shop!" as they handed them over) should I have matched that by having equal confidence in my own position: "Thanks anyway, but I wouldn't put my kid in these, they are totally past their best!"

It was all quite thought-provoking.

That's what I drive, an old VW, it surprised my to realise it's 15 years old now. I work on the principle if it ain't broke...... . Hope that hasn't hexed my MOT next month.

I can imagine Helena Bonham Carter living in a house like this. I like to think she is genuinely a bit eccentric and disorganised though and that it wouldn't be part of a curated image.

Aren't those places in the north of England?
Not sure they really count...

It's rich people cos-playing 'I Capture The Castle'.

I think so. I wonder if they realised how cold and hungry they were most of the time, and unable to pay their rent on the castle. I suppose the Mortmains had the cushion of class background though. Sorry, I'm going off on an irrelevant tangent now.

they can crack on with their fabulosa or whatever smelly cleaning stuff is all the rage

Zoflora, darling. 😁

Sorry @TheSnootiestFox

I think it was your joke at the end! It was funny to be fair. You do sound possibly too well turned out, from your description, to qualify though 😀.

Agreed.

This is so toe-curling-cringe-inducing that I was convinced it was a spoof.

Reads like a bingo edition of "what I imagine UC life is like".

"Imagine" being the operative word.

Its weird isn't it, I come from a very basic (but happy) background but now have a more MC lifestyle - degree, good job, own home etc. But my inability to relax when it's messy and concern for how other people view me will always, always give away my WC origins. I find it really interesting.