Those cool, messy, usually wealthy mums

[Shessodowntoearth]

I want to be one 😅
Does anyone know the type?
Usually quite a few kids, at least two, kids are lovely, but generally quite messy/put together in a kooky way.
Houses are beautiful, but messy/disorganised, beautiful pieces everywhere/decoration but with a lived in/messy vibe. The mums are the same, usually seem quite disorganised but chilled out at the same time, generally away somewhere every school holidays and don’t work.
I know quite a few mums like this near me and wonder what this life is like, mainly the having more money. I’d love to be as laid back if people come around, to not care about the mess as the house is so incredible, to not worry if my kids clothes look scruffy in a cool way and to be comfortable in myself. Is this what happens when you come from money?

The bit about Brighton made me laugh. I saw Anthony from Bridgerton roaming around barefoot in a purple bicycle shorts in Hove & while my friends perved all I do was wince because it was cold!

Where are these mums?? I know no one like this but they sound like my kinda people!

What an odd thing to invent, no I didn’t and nor did anyone else. The poster being derided was pointing to the same stereotype when observed in areas in the north of England as ‘not quite counting’. Which is indeed completely derisible even if there are also some footballers in this half of the country. Literally no one ‘implied’ anything about the ‘Cheshire triangle’ - the only mention of Cheshire as a whole was to point out how laughably unintelligent such a point was.

Of course, but it is invisible. Books are too important to be left to class.

@Persiana thank you! I've attached one of my favourite photos of last season, my younger son is in the gilet walking towards me as I took the photo. I'm not fit enough for this season and it's mortifying having all these 80 year olds marching up hill and down dale about a mile ahead of you 🤣 but hopefully I'll get there at least once before March x

My skirting boards are spotless, does this mean I’m common?!

I can tell how much my working class roots have influenced me because it takes me nearly as long to tidy and clean my house for my cleaners coming as they spend here themselves 🙈 they always comment on it being much tidier than any other houses they clean, most of which I surmise are owned by people much wealthier than me! I also spend hours ironing. I don’t see how people can just not do that stuff.

I agree
Not sure if I'd ever be envious of mess and unkempt children - not fair on the kids if it can be helped
I loved the kids that had lovely clothes when I was a kid

Ha! I think (on reflection) it is probably because my husband is the main laundry/ dishes person. He is posh, but denies it.

Love a sherbet lemon, does it ell of them? I'll send him on a mission if so.

There are lots of them here in rural Northumberland. But they all seem to work doing freelance design / copywriting / publishing work. Or something mad like run an organic bee hive business.

I am probably described as one of these mums, but I work full time and still feel poor, although I'm not really. Bit unsure why it's particularly desirable that I don't care about a whole heap of stuff, it's just how my mother was with the household. It eventually transpired that she grew up with a housekeeper, which sort of explains why this MO doesn't really work for me! (Or her, in later life).

They're the Berko (as in Berkhamsted) mums to me!

Start by being slim, beautiful, clever and wealthy.

I don’t see how people can just not do that stuff

And I don't see how people can do it.

But you have cleaners, @MiddleParking, and I've never had a cleaner because school fees have crippled me for 25 years and I probably won't recover from them until I'm dead.

Saw one of those in the wild recently - Bradford on Avon on a boat. Lovely dress, kids were a nightmare, out of control spoilt brats who knocked stuff over and broke it.

I love this look and would love to have the whole vibe, but this is a very stylish look that costs a load of money to achieve. From the house and it's contents to the swedish, boho clothes that are usually found in the wardrobe, it's lla very expensive life style, it looks effortless because the mom usually has a ton of help, grandparents ( or gaga and mama!) On tap to help with the babysitting so frequent holidays or trips away from children throughout the year, no money worries,.it makes a huge difference to living in the stressful world the rest of us have to live in 😂

I've never had a cleaner because school fees have crippled me for 25 years

Hang on...I need to find my microscopic violin

I notice that those people with messy homes put it down to 'having better things to do' as though other people don't.

Most of us have better things to do but we also don't want fetid bathrooms or cat hair in the sugar bowl so we set aside a part of our lives for that kind of admin.

I find they often smell

Not sure the comparison quite works, but nevertheless I am deeply sorry to hear of your misfortune 💐

What @Isyesterdaytomorrowtoday said - same

Yes me too! This thread is really making love myself a bit more! I had no idea it was cool to be messy!

Oh go away. I was hardly feeling sorry for myself. I was responding to someone who has a cleaner and still feels ashamed of her house.

I agree with this to the point that my own anti-class warrior is bored rigid with the narrow, prejudiced assumptions so often attached to social 'class', and which are trotted out with tedious regularity on MN.

'Middle class bohemians' is obviously a contradiction in terms. It's an aesthetic, like Dark Academia and Cottagecore are aesthetics: nothing more than that. The actual bohemians were skint. There isn't much that's cultivated about being a precariat. They often lived 'off grid', eked out a sporadic living, and in doing so earned the scorn of the establishment for daring to dabble in intellectual pursuits beyond their 'station'. (Note E M Forster's poor working-class intellectual, Leonard Bast, who is done to death by a particularly aggressive bookshelf. Symbolic or what)?

Right now, looking at this thread, similar attitudes seem to have prevailed. Artists are 'bohemian' by definition. To a lesser extent, so are those who work in the arts, or the cultural and creative industries. To selectively paraphrase some of the posts upthread: such people 'think they are better'. They are contrived. They are carefully cultivating an 'image'. But hey, 'real' rich people 'don't have to care what others think, because they are '"confident"'. I've rarely read such a prejudiced bucket of snobbish shit. Anyone can be confident and say 'screw you' to what others think. It doesn't take 10 generations of 'gentle breeding' to develop your own mind.

I'm a writer (professional) and artist (amateur). I was brought up in a house with piles of dusty books. I became an academic. I get a new car once about every 6 years, and I drive them into the ground. Growing up we attended opera, ballet, art galleries, and theatre. I rode. I spent time out in nature, being taught all the birdsong, flora and fauna my grandfather knew (he knew a lot).

My folks were in trade. We're solidly working class.

I get a new car once about every 6 years

This is pretty frequent. You're hardly driving old bangers

I never said I feel ashamed of my house! I’m delighted with my house. I would feel ashamed of it if we left it a cowp, especially because we’ve got cleaners.