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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should I cancel the party or go ahead without DS?

108 replies

Autumnleaves06 · 18/10/2023 09:15

My DS has just started with chickenpox, his 5th birthday party is on Saturday, all booked and paid for as of yesterday when they called me to confirm numbers. I can’t believe the timing of this!
I said to my DH this morning that we’ll need to cancel and let parents know.
He suggested we still have the party (it’s soft play) but without DS. Surely this is totally unfair on him? He’s been looking forward to this party for weeks. I’m so gutted for him.

DH’s logic is that we’ve already paid the balance and other than doing the cake and candles, we should still go ahead and his friends can enjoy soft play & the food without him, this makes me really sad though and what if his friends mention it when he’s back at school? That they went to his party without him.

What would you do?

OP posts:
firsttimemam8 · 18/10/2023 09:17

Have you called the venue to let them know the situation? They may be able to push it later to when he's feeling better

Twofortheroad · 18/10/2023 09:17

Cancel the party. I can understand his logic but no, that still sucks, DS will be gutted enough, having the party anyway will rub salt into the wounds.

Ormonde · 18/10/2023 09:18

I would call the venue to see if they can push the date back.

Cryingbutstilltrying · 18/10/2023 09:18

Surely you contact the venue and ask to change the date?
At 5 you cannot have his party without him, that would be beyond awful. Better to cancel and lose the money if there’s no other option. Poor kid.

Frazzledandfried · 18/10/2023 09:19

As above, explain to the venue that DS has chickenpox, ask if they can move the date. Your DH is BU to think its OK for your sons party to go ahead without him. I would think it was weird if we went to a kids party and the birthday child wasn't there.

gemloving · 18/10/2023 09:19

My DS is turning 5 in January and I wouldn't have the party without my child. I'd just cancel but speak to the venue and see if you can move to another date.

YourNameGoesHere · 18/10/2023 09:20

Agree with others you call the venue and try to push the date.

You absolutely can't have a birthday party for your 5 year old without him. Yes it would be a waste of money to cancel it but that's better than having the party without him, that would be ridiculously mean for the poor kid.

Original poster
Autumnleaves06 · 18/10/2023 09:20

I’ve just called them. They have no availability until the new year! His birthday was last week. No idea what to do now.

OP posts:
AIstolemylunch · 18/10/2023 09:21

Wow. I'm astounded you Re even considering this. Postpone the part to the new year!

MadeForThis · 18/10/2023 09:21

Just move it to the new year. You can have a small family party when he isn't infectious.

Whinge · 18/10/2023 09:22

If they can't move the date then I would cancel. It would be really unfair to have a party without your DS. Also if the spots have only just started there's a good chance other guests will start with it in the next few days.

EnoughNow2023 · 18/10/2023 09:23

Absolutely move it to the new year or ask if you can move it to his birthday next year as an alternative

Coffeerum · 18/10/2023 09:23

No I wouldn't throw a child's birthday party with the birthday child not attending.
Quite weird imo.

I'm sure the date could be changed, at worst for a small fee.

Whinge · 18/10/2023 09:23

Autumnleaves06 · 18/10/2023 09:20

I’ve just called them. They have no availability until the new year! His birthday was last week. No idea what to do now.

You cancel.

YourNameGoesHere · 18/10/2023 09:25

Autumnleaves06 · 18/10/2023 09:20

I’ve just called them. They have no availability until the new year! His birthday was last week. No idea what to do now.

I'd ask if they can move it to next year for his birthday and this year just have a small birthday tea at home with family.

MermaidEyes · 18/10/2023 09:25

Postpone until the new year, gives plenty of notice for everyone else to be able to make it as the next few weeks will probably be busy for most anyway. When he's feeling better why don't you take him and a couple of his favourite friends for a couple of hours soft play for a missed birthday treat?

HattieIou · 18/10/2023 09:25

Book for the new year. You've paid for it you might as well. A 5 year old won't care about dates.

WhatWillEyeCallMyself · 18/10/2023 09:26

Rebook for the new year. Call it his 5 and a 1/4 birthday. Do not be so mean as to go ahead without him! Hope he's better soon.

Ormonde · 18/10/2023 09:26

Book it for the new year then? It doesn’t need to be his birthday to have a party.

OhDoSitDownAndShutUp · 18/10/2023 09:27

Cancel it. The poor kid can't miss his own party

Bobbyelvis4ever · 18/10/2023 09:27

Postpone to the New Year, and let him have his party. Everyone will be delighted with something to do on a cold January day!

They'll all start to come down with it anyway - I'd expect lots of cancellations if you do go ahead.

Seas164 · 18/10/2023 09:27

So your son is at home and his friends are whooping it up at his party in the soft play? On what planet does that sound like a kind idea?

pinkfondu · 18/10/2023 09:27

Do it in the new year, I had the exact same thing. Kids don't care when it is we do. No one will be able to afford to take their kids anywhere in Jan so they will be glad.

Our school started quite late, do it before tgey go back.

Bibbitybobbitty · 18/10/2023 09:28

Book it for new Yr, def don't go ahead without him! Also it's likely that his friends will Lso now come down with CP so won't come anyway

AlltheFs · 18/10/2023 09:29

Obviously you cancel.

You can do something different when he is better- might not be the same party but an activity or something with close friends instead. You absolutely do not have a party without him.

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