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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should I cancel the party or go ahead without DS?

108 replies

Autumnleaves06 · 18/10/2023 09:15

My DS has just started with chickenpox, his 5th birthday party is on Saturday, all booked and paid for as of yesterday when they called me to confirm numbers. I can’t believe the timing of this!
I said to my DH this morning that we’ll need to cancel and let parents know.
He suggested we still have the party (it’s soft play) but without DS. Surely this is totally unfair on him? He’s been looking forward to this party for weeks. I’m so gutted for him.

DH’s logic is that we’ve already paid the balance and other than doing the cake and candles, we should still go ahead and his friends can enjoy soft play & the food without him, this makes me really sad though and what if his friends mention it when he’s back at school? That they went to his party without him.

What would you do?

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 18/10/2023 12:48

YourNameGoesHere · 18/10/2023 09:25

I'd ask if they can move it to next year for his birthday and this year just have a small birthday tea at home with family.

Show quote history

This

Poundfoolishpennywise · 18/10/2023 12:51

Postpone to the New Year, you can present it as a fun way to celebrate his birthday when January would normally be a dull and depressing month after the magic of Christmas. In the meantime, when he recovers, you could always take him out for the day with one or two chosen friends to a theme park or, depending on budget, cinema or movie and pizza night at home? We did this in summer 2020 when parties still weren’t possible and DD had a great time (in our case we went to a theme park with cousins).

BootGirl · 18/10/2023 12:57

I’d definitely cancel and forget the money, these things happen, the other kids won’t care less about going without the birthday boy. Forget worrying about the party, which obviously can’t happen and focus on cheering your son up, maybe tell him you’ll take him and a couple of his friends to soft play as soon as he’s better. Yes awful timing though, I was so pleased to get chicken pox out of the way before it ruined any plans.

EltonJohnsSunglasses · 18/10/2023 12:58

My mum did this when I was 10 - didn't cancel the ice skating party we had booked when I broke my foot two weeks before.... had to sit on the side and watch all my friends skating at my party - never forgotten it, it was horrible! So I say, definitely cancel!

Justaboutalive · 18/10/2023 13:09

Definitely cancel and book for the New Year - get the new date.
phone everyone and give them the new date.
Have a family party at home.

Maybe take him and a best friend somewhere nice when he has scabbed.

stayathomer · 18/10/2023 13:25

So your son is at home and his friends are whooping it up at his party in the soft play? On what planet does that sound like a kind idea?
This by a million percent. Have a party without the birthday boy?!?!? What?!?!?

Mememe9898 · 18/10/2023 14:29

I would re book it for his 6th party if you can move it that far and then choose a different venue when he’s better.

Mememe9898 · 18/10/2023 14:30

stayathomer · 18/10/2023 13:25

So your son is at home and his friends are whooping it up at his party in the soft play? On what planet does that sound like a kind idea?
This by a million percent. Have a party without the birthday boy?!?!? What?!?!?

Haha sounds wrong on so many levels 😂

Bluetrue · 18/10/2023 15:04

Cancel the party and throw an Xmas bash instead.

He can take a few friends to soft play when he's better, so its still close to his actual birthday?

Ponderingwindow · 18/10/2023 15:09

If the venue will let you move the party, even with a reasonable fee, then move it, even if it is months away.

if you are going to lose the money, then let his friends have a some fun. No reason to let the slot go to waste. I wouldn’t go and host though. I would maybe just deliver whatever shelf stable snacks you have already purchased and let your guests go and play.

novalia89 · 18/10/2023 16:27

I would cancel but if you can’t get your money back tell the parents that they can attend as a family, ie not as part of the party. So they can use the entry but the party didn’t happen without your child.

I doubt all parents would attend this anyway. You wouldn’t host the party without your son and even with a free entry not all parents will be able to make use of that. Especially if there is food that can’t be refunded. I’d definitely make it clear that you aren’t hosting though.

I would just see if I could postpone in the first instance. It’s not that far away and will be something nice to do in the new year.

RubyBon · 18/10/2023 18:22

I don’t think your DH is BU if there is a no refund policy and no other available dates

you just need to make it clear there is no party …

it’s wasted money, so let friends know, their space is paid for so they can go and enjoy the soft play if they wish. Cancel the food. Let the venue know some kids will be coming to play

CowboyJoanna · 18/10/2023 18:37

Don't have DS's party without him ffs! That's just mean!!

You cancel, and maybe you can do a non-birthday party for him in the new year when he's better (the same kind of soft play party where he and his friends can run around and play, except no cake or presents!).

cheddercherry · 18/10/2023 18:57

I’d cancel if they can’t move it, my little boys birthday (same age) is coming up and all he’s chatting about is his party and we’ve got loads of parties coming up for his class. They all buzz about them at that age and it would be awful if he missed his own one but his mates all went. Hope he’s feeling better soon!

JRM17 · 18/10/2023 19:44

Poor baby, but lmao at your DH thinking anyone is gonna be there, does he know how contagious CP is, if you son has it then by the weekend 75% of his class are likely to have it. Cancel the party take the hit and have a lovely day in with your DS.

Steev · 18/10/2023 20:15

Wtf? You can't have it without him.

carly2803 · 18/10/2023 20:36

postpone - even to the new year!

MMCQ · 18/10/2023 20:59

Re alternate date in New Year: Go with it, something for you all to look forward to in the dark days in Jan. have a couple of close friends for a birthday tea or play date when he’s better.

MamofCandJ · 18/10/2023 21:48

My son caught chickenpox a few days before his 4th birthday last year, it didn’t occur to me to still have the party without him, I just let the venue know and they were kind enough to refund £50 of the £150 I’d paid for the party. I then rebooked the party for his birthday this year, using the £50 they’d refunded. His party is in a few days but at least I know he’s unlikely to get the pox again! Once he was well enough last year I just did an old school music and games party which I hosted myself a few weeks after his original party was meant to be.

GingersOwner26 · 18/10/2023 22:51

Go with the offer of a move of date to the new year, you can always do something smaller with family nearer his birthday.

Hilly7 · 19/10/2023 06:00

I actually can't believe you're asking the question

GuitarGeorge · 19/10/2023 07:14

Cancel

chickbean · 19/10/2023 07:51

I have three children. The latest I have ever had a party after their birthday was six months, so you have still a way to go to beat me. It became quite a joke with my friends. To be fair, the six month one was because my daughter wanted an outdoor laser party and her birthday is in winter, but most were a month or two late because I just never booked in time. My DC actually liked having theirs late because it spread the celebrations out. Definitely postpone.

StarMumma18 · 19/10/2023 09:07

I'd say call the soft pay up and postpone it to after new year so he enjoys his day.

legosunqueen · 19/10/2023 09:15

Move it to the new year but ask to be notified if there are any cancellations. Hope your DS is better soon, that's rotten luck Flowers