Should I cancel the party or go ahead without DS?

[Autumnleaves06]

My DS has just started with chickenpox, his 5th birthday party is on Saturday, all booked and paid for as of yesterday when they called me to confirm numbers. I can’t believe the timing of this!
I said to my DH this morning that we’ll need to cancel and let parents know.
He suggested we still have the party (it’s soft play) but without DS. Surely this is totally unfair on him? He’s been looking forward to this party for weeks. I’m so gutted for him.

DH’s logic is that we’ve already paid the balance and other than doing the cake and candles, we should still go ahead and his friends can enjoy soft play & the food without him, this makes me really sad though and what if his friends mention it when he’s back at school? That they went to his party without him.

What would you do?

Postpone until the New Year. It’s not a birthday party if the birthday boy isn’t there! Besides January tends to be a quiet month so a party then will be fun.

Thanks all, I’ll see if we can postpone it for Jan and I’ll contact the parents to cancel.

DH and his ideas 🙄

I don't think you can go ahead without hjm - that would be really unkind. I would either rebook for January or cut my losses, cancellation, and book somewhere else or have a party at home in a couple of weeks. How much will you lose if you cancel altogether?

I'd still move it if you can. My son's friend had his party 5 months later so he could have a pool and BBQ party at home, as his birthday is in January.

Yes, move it. January is such a bleak time once Christmas is over, it’ll be good to have something fun to look forward to.

Sorry @Autumnleaves06 but your DH is as clueless as mine. Cancel it. Your ds will be much happier to have the party with his friends when the time comes round rather than sitting at home feeling poorly and thinking about everyone else having a nice time. Saying that, I'm sure his friends would also have enough sense to think that being at a party without the birthday boy is not the right thing to do and would not want to go.

Have it in January. Something for your DS to look forward to after Christmas.

No dont have the party without child i think he/she may never forget it if you go ahead.
Just re - book it for when ever they can fit you in.

Aw don’t go without him. Postpone for the new year. Or even for his next birthday and do something else when he’s better. A friend of my dd had a party which the venue cancelled the day before so all the kids met at the local park and the parents brought cake and party bags and snacks. The kids saw it as a party and had a fab time. Obviously it’s weather dependent though but might work for you when ds is better

When you have a few days notice, I would reschedule for the new year

I did have a soft play party without the birthday child as they came down with a tummy bug 2 hours before the party! I told all the parents, most kids came, some didn't want to, and the child had presents to open from the friends when they were feeling perkier...

And we did have a birthday picnic with candles and cake a few months later too so they wouldn't miss out

On another note, I was desperate for my kids to get chicken pox out of the way so would have happily come round to celebrate in the house with you if your son is up to it. A pox party might not be the same but he could still have cake with his friends this weekend.

You do realise children can get seriously ill and die from CP? No one should be having "pox parties".

OP I see your DH's logic, but that would be beyond cruel. A new year party sounds great!

@OdeToBarney I didn't have chicken pox as a child so was very worried about getting it during pregnancy. I would rather my child had it so I could limit that risk. Most kids get through chickenpox without any extra complications but I'm sorry if I've upset anyone.

Neither did my husband. So we got him and DD vaccinated!

Wasn't an option ever given to me by my doctor but I'm ancient.

DD went to a birthday party where the birthday boy was ill that morning, too late to cancel and so it went ahead and he got all the presents. That was a 5th birthday

DS was ill two days before his 5th birthday (ended in A&E) put on antibiotics. Too late to move or cancel. He quietly sat when the rest did the party. In fact I think he opened and played with a couple of his presents

can you move and not lose money if so do that.

if you cannot cancel and would lose money (as in both my situations) then go ahead, he gets the presents and his friends get to have fun.

neither felt is was cruel, both understood that whilst they were not well enough wjy should their friends miss out plus got to open all the presents.

If they will let you postpone until January without additional cost, I'd go for that. It's not going to be on his birthday, so it's going to be an unbirthday party now, but I'm sure it will be just as special.

If you can’t cancel or move the date. I’d just message everyone and say the parties cancelled but you can still go and get free soft play. And leave it at that.

Will they not refund you under the circumstances? If not defo postpone til Jan- something to look forward to & will help any January blues!
Definitely dont do party without him that’s so mean & really weird!

If they're scabbed over then he's not contagious - if he's feeling up to it then let him go.

Do this.
Don't have the party without him! That would be too upsetting for your child.

If you go ahead with the party without him, it is not a birthday party. I can understand how you feel, losing the money, but at this point you don’t really have many options.

it seems a shame to waste it if it can’t be rescheduled. If you do go ahead with the party this weekend then don’t attend. Stay with your son and do something for his birthday when he’s better, just you guys.

alternatively, reschedule for the new year. Do something when he’s better, just you guys, and reschedule the party as a Christmas joint event so he has something else to look forward to?

I don’t envy your position. I do like how practical your husband is being, but he’s not being very sympathetic to your son’s feelings.

if it was me, I’d reschedule, celebrate quietly, and have the party whenever you can rebook it.

hope he feels better soon! Use the cream and not the lotion, and give him lots of oat baths xx

Book it for the new year! It will be a nice January treat

Cancel, I’d never forgive ( or forget! ) my dad if he did that!