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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Clever ideas for petty revenge...

91 replies

2021x · 18/10/2023 03:53

Petty revenge... with a purpose.

I live in a flat and one of my immediate neighbours of a married (gay) couple, is an hostile but cowardly goblin. A couple of years ago at the height of the pandemic lockdowns, there was some increasingly hostile emails being sent about people using the washing line or something, and I asked him to tone it down. That night, he had had a few bottles of wine, lost his shit and attempted to kick in my door and banged on my windows screaming all types of abuse. It was so bad, I thought he was having a pyschotic break and was frozen in fear and 3 different people called the police. Afterwards, his husband who is very sweet and kind, wanted me to come into their flat so he could apologise to me but, that was a hard no, and there was some more intimidating behaviour after that. After a few weeks I was still terrified, so I followed up with the Police. They visited him, he told them that all he did was kick my door a few times and screamed at me, and that wasn't illegal and no harm done. The police informed him that it very much was illegal and told him to stay away from me. Since then, I have been scared about getting entering and leaving my own home and everytime I hear them putting the bottles out in the recyling in case he kicks off again and I also avoid walking past their flat at all costs (including hurricaines)

Getting on to my problem. I live at the end of the building and to access the west set of stairs, people have to walk past my bathroom window, front kitchen window, and then as the stairs go down the side of the builiding passes the side ktichen window. Every morning this mad bastard goes out of his way to take this route rather than other shorter more sheltered east stairs, like his husband now does since the warning from the police.

However, I have now grown a spine and I want to take action to stop him intimidating me. I know I can't obstruct him or the common areas and I am not going to speak to him, but I really want to put up something in my window that makes him so uncomfortable he has to stop. Obviously he is not a reasonable person i.e. perpetural victim, militant vegan, has violent outbursts that he (blames on a head injury rather than alcohol), and is deeply mysogynistic.

I was thinking about getting some sort of pornographic style picutres of women, something that will disgust him so much he won't want to walk past but do any of you wise mumsnetters have any other more classy or clever suggestions, recommendations etc.

OP posts:
BlueKaftan · 18/10/2023 04:16

Georgia O’Keefe painting Grey Lines in the window should stop him in his tracks.

Mangolover123 · 18/10/2023 04:25

@BlueKaftan that is the simplest, most intelligent and effective idea ever!
I had to google it. But I think we all need a copy.in our lives!

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/10/2023 05:03

Caltrops.

But maybe the O'Keefe would be better.

lesserspotted · 18/10/2023 05:08

Or just pretend you dont notice him at all ever, until he realises all his extra time and effort going into passing your doorway has been wasted

SunRainStorm · 18/10/2023 05:12

Drop the rope and ignore him.

He's doing it to get in your head, so don't let it work or he'll keep it up.

Putting pornography in your window is just mad behaviour, it probably won't bother him- he'll be pleased to see you doing something bizarre that confirms his ideas of you.

Having given all this advice about being the bigger person- could you start keeping bees on the balcony? 🐝 🐝🐝🐝

Electrictache · 18/10/2023 05:24

SunRainStorm · 18/10/2023 05:12

Drop the rope and ignore him.

He's doing it to get in your head, so don't let it work or he'll keep it up.

Putting pornography in your window is just mad behaviour, it probably won't bother him- he'll be pleased to see you doing something bizarre that confirms his ideas of you.

Having given all this advice about being the bigger person- could you start keeping bees on the balcony? 🐝 🐝🐝🐝

This ^ Anything you do will continue to give him power. Even if you think you're somehow getting to him, you're harming yourself.

Do what you can to protect yourself emotionally from the impact of any intimidation but don't engage, provoke or otherwise try and get his attention. If he does anything then report him and keep reporting him.

Climbingthehillfast · 18/10/2023 05:45

You can’t put pornographic pictures on display as he will call the police on you. Surely you have a blind do he can’t see in. Ignore him. Don’t (cough) sign him up for viagra mailings or penis enlargement surgery!

JustMaggie · 18/10/2023 06:03

I would ignore him. Don't give the issue anymore oxygen because he's very obviously unhinged. Let him see that all his efforts are for nothing and you are completely chilled and living your best life. He'll give up sooner or later.

Gardeningtime · 18/10/2023 06:10

This can’t be serious, you want to put porn in your window? And you think he’s the issue?

ALittleTeawithmilk · 18/10/2023 06:21

Okay, I’m going to bite. What is pornographic about grey lines? It’s beautiful.

TheWayTheLightFalls · 18/10/2023 06:28

Does it remind you of anything @ALittleTeawithmilk ?

I’d sign him up to a bunch of spammy mailing list type things. More so if you have his phone number.

Stopaskingmequestionsandputthegerbildown · 18/10/2023 06:38

You want to potentially incite someone who has already shown violent to escalate? Hard no from me.

piddocktrumperiness · 18/10/2023 06:40

Sign him up to The Mormon Church or Scientology. Just put his name and number down as interested, they won't let go of him!

autiebooklover · 18/10/2023 06:43

If you are going to do something don't do something that's obviously you!!

Agree spam mailing lists are a great idea.

Guavafish1 · 18/10/2023 06:47

I would consider CCTV camera for your safety

ChChChCherryBomb · 18/10/2023 06:49

Guavafish1 · 18/10/2023 06:47

I would consider CCTV camera for your safety

This! And ignore him!

DappledThings · 18/10/2023 06:54

How is any of that going to be taking revenge? It makes no sense; neither the wanting revenge in the first place or thinking that putting a picture in your window is going to do anything other than antagonise him. Antagonising someone isn't taking revenge on them.

ALittleTeawithmilk · 18/10/2023 07:30

TheWayTheLightFalls · 18/10/2023 06:28

Does it remind you of anything @ALittleTeawithmilk ?

I’d sign him up to a bunch of spammy mailing list type things. More so if you have his phone number.

Obviously. But I can’t see how a beautiful painting of a vagina is pornographic. It doesn’t strike me as ‘porn’

I’m just surprised other people would think that way. (Perhaps people of strict religions) . Not being combatitive, just a bit surprised about it, is all.

ALittleTeawithmilk · 18/10/2023 07:37

OP, i understand that you don’t want to feel like he’s pushing you around etc., but people this unbalanced are best just stayed away from, imo.

put a pot plant in front of your window so he can’t see in or something similar, and forget about it, is what I’d fo.

Offcom · 18/10/2023 07:46

His behaviour makes me impressed at the restraint you’re showing with your revenge plan! What a horrible person.

Having said that, sometimes it’s about sticking up for yourself but the fact this guy drinks and has a head injury makes me shiver. That he insisted to the police it’s perfectly legal to kick your door suggests he’s not got a firm grip on reality.

Don’t know if I’m saying avoid revenge or just be super sneaky about it, but do be careful!

Missing the point entirely but his husband must be living in hell…

therealcookiemonster · 18/10/2023 07:52

the most obvious thing would be to put a photo or painting of some meat. nothing offensive but he will know its for him....

but the sensible thing would be to put in a camera....

BMW6 · 18/10/2023 07:58

Walking past your window is not intimidation surely? Nor is he trespassing. More fool him I'd say.

As pp put it, just drop the rope. You are looking to escalate this and you would be wrong and stupid to do so.

4naansjeremy · 18/10/2023 08:00

I very quickly thought of multiple revenge plans but now I’m worried I’m as bad as your neighbour.

I wouldn’t advise escalation. He sounds like he would be more than happy to up the ante. Try to be happy knowing his life is likely less happy and fulfilling than yours.

pictoosh · 18/10/2023 08:02

Gardeningtime · 18/10/2023 06:10

This can’t be serious, you want to put porn in your window? And you think he’s the issue?

THIS! Omg. I believe you when you say he's an absolute rocket...but why the HELL would you respond by posting porn to be seen in a communal area??

Back up horsie.

MassageForLife · 18/10/2023 08:03

ALittleTeawithmilk · 18/10/2023 07:30

Obviously. But I can’t see how a beautiful painting of a vagina is pornographic. It doesn’t strike me as ‘porn’

I’m just surprised other people would think that way. (Perhaps people of strict religions) . Not being combatitive, just a bit surprised about it, is all.

I don't think the person that mentioned it thinks it's porn. I think it was offered up as an alternative. Because it would be much more reasonable to have that up than actual porn.

I could be wrong though!

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