Clever ideas for petty revenge...

[2021x]

Petty revenge... with a purpose.

I live in a flat and one of my immediate neighbours of a married (gay) couple, is an hostile but cowardly goblin. A couple of years ago at the height of the pandemic lockdowns, there was some increasingly hostile emails being sent about people using the washing line or something, and I asked him to tone it down. That night, he had had a few bottles of wine, lost his shit and attempted to kick in my door and banged on my windows screaming all types of abuse. It was so bad, I thought he was having a pyschotic break and was frozen in fear and 3 different people called the police. Afterwards, his husband who is very sweet and kind, wanted me to come into their flat so he could apologise to me but, that was a hard no, and there was some more intimidating behaviour after that. After a few weeks I was still terrified, so I followed up with the Police. They visited him, he told them that all he did was kick my door a few times and screamed at me, and that wasn't illegal and no harm done. The police informed him that it very much was illegal and told him to stay away from me. Since then, I have been scared about getting entering and leaving my own home and everytime I hear them putting the bottles out in the recyling in case he kicks off again and I also avoid walking past their flat at all costs (including hurricaines)

Getting on to my problem. I live at the end of the building and to access the west set of stairs, people have to walk past my bathroom window, front kitchen window, and then as the stairs go down the side of the builiding passes the side ktichen window. Every morning this mad bastard goes out of his way to take this route rather than other shorter more sheltered east stairs, like his husband now does since the warning from the police.

However, I have now grown a spine and I want to take action to stop him intimidating me. I know I can't obstruct him or the common areas and I am not going to speak to him, but I really want to put up something in my window that makes him so uncomfortable he has to stop. Obviously he is not a reasonable person i.e. perpetural victim, militant vegan, has violent outbursts that he (blames on a head injury rather than alcohol), and is deeply mysogynistic.

I was thinking about getting some sort of pornographic style picutres of women, something that will disgust him so much he won't want to walk past but do any of you wise mumsnetters have any other more classy or clever suggestions, recommendations etc.

Hang a row of dried sausages in front of the window?

No, honestly, just ignore. Getting a rise from you is exactly what he wants. He has a lot of energy to put into this, don't get drawn in. You can't win against crazy without becoming even crazier yourself, and you don't want that.

I’d probably put up some of that one way window film so that you can still see out but all he can see is himself. Not on the whole window, only as high as he’d be able to see in if he were trying.

Walking past your windows, if it’s public space, isn’t intimidation, regardless of whether this man is unhinged, as his past behaviour suggests. Ignore it.

Personally I always think the best revenge is indifference. These people want a show to star in...don't watch.

Disengage with him. He’s seriously unhinged.

Put plants/ blinds to obscure his view and go Grey Rock. Don’t feed him anything to get angry about.

Cameras also good idea.

When my absolutely vile steroid addicted woman hating thug of a neighbour called me a fat cunt for no reason I lost nearly 7 stone. His vile remark has changed my life for the better. I look fantastic and feel it. First time he saw me in skinny jeans was priceless. I turned the situation round to suit me. Not for everyone I know but it's a priceless piece of revenge on my part

Reflective window film, a Ring doorbell and cctv in by the kitchen. Do not engage.

This

Any response at all will just encourage him to find other fun ways to get in your head. And sticking up pictures of porn or meat will make you look entirely mad.

If people walk directly passed your windows maybe a few strips of the film stuff that obscures the few so you don’t have to look at him. I’d do it anyway as I wouldn’t want to make eye contact with people when standing at my sink.

If the property manager allows it then a camera outside your door might make you feel better.

Other than this make an effort to move on.

I think that what he is doing is purposely intimidating and I would speak to the police again. Obviously this is complicated by this area being communal but he does have an alternative route and I would look into the possibility of a court order, where he cannot come within a certain distance of you. Certainly I would discuss his purposeful behaviour with the police and see if anything can be done.

Get blinds - if he thinks you aren't aware or bothered then he won't be getting any satisfaction from doing this.

Since he's a militant vegan , you could also waft the smell of bacon from the kitchen window pretty continuously in the meantime

I wouldn’t put up any pictures. But I would flood the hallway with the smell of meat cooking.

I’d be so tempted by revenge but I’d also be worried about complaints from other neighbours.

I think the best thing to do is try to carry on as normal and ignore him. If he thinks it’s not bothering you then hopefully he will move on. I think intentionally putting things in your window will just encourage him to do something else. It also massively escalates the situation and you go from being a victim to potentially encouraging it.

That’s not relevant to the OP though is it?!

And good for you for loosing weight you wanted to, but I don’t think it will have done anything to cure your neighbours misogyny.

Definitely sign him up for a few mailing lists. That won’t scream it’s you either.

If he has a doormat a couple of prawns under there might be a nice added extra.

Well it was for me

One evening when you know they are in get a dog turd from somewhere and wrap it in newspaper, light it then ring the bell and and put the package through the letterbox, don't forget to leg it.

Or maybe do nothing

Hi it’s make sure you’re cooking some bacon and defrosting a leg of lamb with the window open when he walks past.

I was thinking about getting some sort of pornographic style picutres of women, something that will disgust him so much he won't want to walk past

Seriously? This is where your mind went? Pornographic pictures of women?

Sure, why not plaster your window with images of exploited and abused women just to get back at your neighbour. That won't make you look nuts at all...

As PP said, it isn’t intimidation if it’s public space. Just don't engage.

I like this. I’d probably do this and sign him up to something.

What an awful situation. Don't engage. Call the police every time he does something awful. Keep your blinds down. Did I say don't engage?

To be honest, I found the emphasis on him being gay and a "militant vegan" a little uncomfortable. He sounds like a potentially dangerous irrational person that you need to keep yourself safe from.

Go through the police. He can be prevented from walking past if he's broken the law before. My next door neighbour had to take an extremely circuitous route out of his house because he'd harassed so many of us.

If you start harassing him, in any way, you will only give him power over you. He will 100% call the cops. He may even report you for hate crime given your reasoning here. Do not arm your enemy.

I ordered a sample of incontinence pants for my arsehole neighbour and while I wasn't there to see his reaction, he definitely lost the plot more around that time and inside I felt a ridiculous sense of glee.

Line your windows with outward facing images of raw meat?

Forget about ''petty revenge'', it will just make it worse and you will give him a reason to complain against you...

What you need to do instead:

• Is this man renting the property or does he own it? if he is renting you need to contact his landlord/housing association/the council to keep them informed of his behaviour so you might eventually get him evicted
• Every time he tries to intimidate you, report it to the police and keep a diary
• Try to just get on with your life and not give him the satisfaction to see that you are affected by his conduct
• If you are friendly with your other neighbours, make sure that you all keep reporting the guy's dodgy actions.

I'd go the static cling window film. If he can't see in you've got no worries. I've got opaque stuff at my place and it's great for letting light in but stopping people seeing in (there's a window right next to where you stand in the shower -what were they thinking?!)

Don't engage. Seriously. If you start baiting him with frying bacon, don't be surprised if you're bombarded with the most distressing images of abattoirs from his vegan campaigning mates - and if he decides to plaster them around your door, your neighbours will suffer too.

Put up reflective window screens and a Ring doorbell, record any further harassment and drop the rope.