Called aside in the office today...

[whatty]

I work in London in a hub office (many businesses under common ownership using the same space) in a senior role (I am female in my 40s). It is a hot desking set up- sit where you like when you come in. Some areas in the office have music playing & some don't (some context!).

At the end of my day today, a senior male colleague (50s) from another business asked to have a word with me. I have met him a few times at sessions where the businesses have been collaborating/ doing leadership workshops. He didn't remember me, so introduced himself.

He then proceeded to tell me that as I had been on calls all day (11.30-6.30 with a short lunch break) that I had been distracting people around me, and "many" people (from his area of the business) had reached out to him mention that they had found me distracting. For info- I had a headset on, and was working with colleagues on budget documentation & talking to my team re: work they were tackling.

He recommended that I use a pod/ room in future if I was going to be on lots of calls. I questioned whether there was a policy re: working in silence/ being a silent space- and he admitted that it was just different approaches to working, and that the team he works in tends to avoid being on calls in the open plan. He then said he hoped that this conversation would be taken in the way in which it was intended. I was confused to be honest- so I said it wasn't clear how it was meant. But that I'd consider his feedback.

When we left the room where we had his conversation, it was clear that those from his business around me were all aware that I was being "pulled aside".

I was livid if I'm being honest- and upset too. I am really busy at work, have been doing long hours, and felt that he had no right to tell me what to do in a shared office space. I accept that I am tired and emotional though, so perhaps should just leave it and move on. However- I also feel like he wouldn't have had that conversation with me if I was male. And that I wouldn't be unreasonable to pull him aside/ talk to him when I next encounter him with some measured feedback of my own.

What do you think? Would I be unreasonable to stew on this- and think up some direct home truths? Or should I keep quiet in the office and on the feedback front. TIA for any guidance you can offer!

DH works in a shared office space (company pays for WeWork, too cheap to pay for an actual office building). There aren’t pods, so if he has meetings scheduled he works from home. I have a shared office and usually work on site, but work from home when I have all-day meetings.

It’s just basic open plan office etiquette that you go elsewhere if you are on a call. You are lucky to have the option of a pod!

He wasn’t criticising your work or how you do it - he was suggesting a more appropriate work space for you to do it in, for your benefit and those around you.
All tasks have different needs. I couldn’t do my job with someone on a call constantly next to me.

I kinda agree with him. The odd call at your desk fine but many back to back calls I think warrants a meeting room or pod.

He then said he hoped that this conversation would be taken in the way in which it was intended.
I would take this to mean it was given with good intent to help you see from the perspective of the rest of the office how you being on calls impacted them. You likely reacted defensively to the feedback rather than hearing it with grace.
If this is how you receive feedback generally then it may mean your team don't give you the feedback they have since they already know it won't land well.
A fellow senior leader on your own level found it easier to approach you and you should take that as intended - i.e. something to listen to and reflect on, not dismiss put of hand because your pride was hurt.

Agree with him , our boss sits in our office on Teams calls sometimes, it's really annoying and distracting.

There’s a long way between “working in silence” and nearly 7 back-to-back hours of phone calls in an open plan office. YABU, and it sounds like the guy handled it well.

And I wouldn’t be finding a reason to do this: wouldn't be unreasonable to pull him aside/ talk to him when I next encounter him with some measured feedback of my own. because presumably you are not a teenager trying to find something to ‘get your own back’ with.

My guess is a combination of not wanting to interrupt a meeting and they kept thinking that surely this is the last call and she will move to a pod / move to quiet work now.

I think it sounds like he handled it in a polite and fair way

I think he handled it well. Much better to have a quiet word rather than raising it with you in front of everyone.

Depends on the company culture. I only go into the office when I need to and try to ac all meetings in person but this does effect my productive.

I have back to back meetings all day, every day and so do others. Plenty of people in my office are in the same boat. It’s the reality of working in a office for some roles it’s unavoidable

Seems fair to me.

He's just asking you to make a reasonable adjustment so that you and everyone else can get their job done. It's not as if he's asked you to step outside in the cold.

I don't see the problem and FWIW yes I do think he'd have asked a man to do the same thing - certainly we would in our company

Your boss should not have had to take you aside to point out something so very obvious.

Not only is it pretty antisocial to be on calls all day in a shared space - you wouldn't have a meeting in a shared space, you'd book a meeting room, you should do the same for a meeting on the phone / Zoom, it's surely against company policy and very bad re information security to have conversations about budgets in full earshot of lots of other people! I assume your company wouldn't want the budget documents emailed to the people around you. Similarly, they won't want them to get details by hearing you on the phone. They need to ensure you have a private and secure place for such conversations.

It is distracting if someone is on calls all day - but it also depends on how loud they are. I work from a hot desk co working space and find that it’s so distracting when someone is on a sales call or call and they are super loud. Whereas having a quick 10 to 15 minute call that’s similar to chatting ti the college next to you is fine.

I can see why gender would get involved, I’ve often been in work spaces with men shouting on the phone (as I’m speaking so loudly) and nobody says anything.

Using a pod or booking our meeting rooms for long calls is a way to respect the space. However I think there is nothing wrong with short calls or long zoom calls where Tok ohh t only say a word or two because that tends to blend in with the background noise.

Also if you have tried to book a meeting room but cannot - then calls on desk is a must. But I think there needs to be a balance.

I'm in a similar set up and I'm with your colleague one hundred percent. Short phone calls are one thing, but someone who is sat in meetings all day is annoying, distracting, and if there are alternatives then it's downright rude.

He handled it really well. Didn't call you out in front of everyone. Probably had multiple complaints and wanted to deal with it sensitively.

I really don't understand what you being a woman has to do with any of this, other than your need to present yourself as a victim.

This. It's unlikely any manager would complain where I work because the response would be 'fine, I'll work from home five days a week, then.'

If OP was on back to back calls, like it appears from her OP, when were they supposed to have lightly mentioned this. Tbh, i think telling someone who is making calls that poss are available would come across as rude.

OP, I’m with the general opinion. It’s very annoying to have to listen to people chat on the phone for long periods when you’re trying to concentrate. I do wear ear buds in the office tbh because of some calls that go on for ever. I struggle with a lot of background noise

That would be your response when you’ve good pods or other private spaces in which to have meetings online?

I think people speak more loudly when they are looking at a screen in a virtual meeting. When they are wearing headphones it's good because people nearby can't hear both sides of the conversation, but it seems to me that also means they often speak louder.
It's not the same as being on the phone in the workplace. In that situation we don't speak so loudly (or we don't need to at any rate!) because the phone is close to our mouths. I've worked in many large open plan offices in the days before virtual meetings and yes, they were quite busy noisy places, but more of a background noise.
Of course it would be more considerate to work in a pod if you're going to be in virtual meetings for most of the day. Apart from being a pain in the arse to people around you, there's got to be a point where you don't share your company business around a group of people who don't work there.

I can understand why you are annoyed about the way he approached this, in that he basically gave you a telling off and other people understood that was what was happening.

But he's not wrong in principle.

If you know you're going to be on calls all day then it's better to either book a room, or even better, work from home.

See the response I was quoting - like that pp there is a desperate shortage of private spaces in my building.

He’s 100% right and nothing in what you’ve written suggests he handled it badly. Take long calls elsewhere, it’s not hard.

In all my years working from our offices and clients I have never seen an open plan office set up with anywhere near sufficient rooms/pods to negate the need for any long calls made from hot desks.

If the desks are a decent size and the overall space is large its less of an issue. It tends to be worse in offices with smaller shared areas and no thought to sound when refurbishing.

TBH, when I have a day which is b2b calls from early until late I just WFH.

Yep, in agreement with him I’m afraid; when me or my colleagues are on long calls we will step into a separate room. I’ll take quick calls at my desk but I HATE when people sit at their desk nattering on for half an hour or more. Especially if they’ve got a loud voice! (I have a loud phone voice which is why I ensure I’m in a separate room for my calls). It’s just common courtesy I’m afraid.

OP was apparently the only one doing that. Which means Thar office space culture is to take calls elsewhere