To think the age of leaving home is getting higher and higher

[Fatcat00]

Sparked by a comment I’ve just read on a tiktok video “we can’t afford to leave home”

I know many people late 20s still living at home. The norm as I understand it is you’d leave home at around 19/20 years ago. Now I know everyone can’t afford a deposit for a mortgage (also read something about 0 deposit mortgages being a thing recently?) but do people just not move out because they don’t want to rent?

I’m trying to have a better understanding on what is the norm now. And how people do things. Purely out of interest but also because I fell on very fortunate circumstances where this is not something I’ve ever had to deal with or think about. There seems to be a divide of people saying kids should move out by X age by any means even if it’s a house hard, and another half saying no. What do you believe to be the case generally?

Entirely depends on their circumstances.

One of mine left 6m after university graduation for work in a town 6 hours away. The other left for an apprenticeship.

We paid for accommodation during study years but once they were earning a proper wage they've looked after themselves.

However, had their opportunities arisen in our local area, I'd have fully understood why they might want to stay at home. Indeed, if misfortune ever becomes them, our home is still theirs.

My eldest was 29 when he moved out of the family home.
He saved hard for a deposit for a house, but it did take a long time.
Once he met his current girlfriend they were able to save up together and finally buy a place and move out , but it's miles away from us.
Ds2 is still here. It'll take him forever to buy a place and he has Uni fees too.
Is what it is, but the young have it hard ( especially if your on your own )
The prices of houses are eye watering and we don't live in an massively affluent area or anything , but it is the south East , so pricey.

To think the age of leaving home is getting higher and higher.

Obviously, if you want to google the statistics on it the information is all there.
It directly relates to house prices.

do people just not move out because they don’t want to rent?
Or most likely, there is no way they will be able to ever build up any sort of savings while paying high rent on relatively low incomes, therefore pricing themselves out of home ownership.

I’m trying to have a better understanding on what is the norm now. And how people do things. Purely out of interest but also because I fell on very fortunate circumstances where this is not something I’ve ever had to deal with or think about.

Surely you don't need people to point out that some people have less money than you though. Is that really hard to understand?

Already such difference with the first two comments, it’s really interesting.

I do think because of cost of living, people are living at home for much longer, especially if they are aiming to buy, rather than rent. I know a 26 year old who is still living at home.

Personally, my partner and I moved out of his parents together at 19 and 22, but that is purely because we both work full time, neither went to university and we are renting but this will mean we will not be able to buy for a long time. We have only been moved out for a year.

There are 0% mortgages but the rate you would be able to borrow would barely afford you a flat these days let alone if you want to buy your first home when you buy, there's also schemes coming in for people who are currently renting but again, unless you are paying upwards of £1,000 per month, the amount you can borrow is really limited with no deposit being put down, which I understand but it feels very much like they are limiting the renters market, there is very little security in renting yet make it very difficult to buy. Especially as someone with a below average credit score.

I posted for a discussion amongst average people on a public forum. Of course the statistics are there on google. But I’m here. You’re welcome to not read or comment.

Moving out at 18/19 is a relatively recent trend. For people of my parents’ and grandparents’ generation, unless you were going away to university (which wasn’t many people) then you lived at home until you were married - which for many people was well into their twenties. It was uncommon for young people to just move in with their mates, and scandalous in many communities to live unmarried with a partner!

Obviously high rents and inability to get mortgages will keep many younger people at home for longer, but if it works for families then I can’t see a problem.

What a weird question. The difference in the first two responses is that the parent actually paid for their child's accommodation.

People moved out soo we years ago because housing was more affordable. Council housing was available and renting or buying was an option too.

People are priced out these days. Some people are also very quick to forget help they've had by way of a deposit or inheritance.

It's not just mortgages and house prices.

Rental costs as a proportion of income are higher than they ever have been.

yes these are good points. I suppose the cost of living itself I.e food shopping, furnishing etc are all just another thing to think of even if people manage to buy the home. Really depressing to think that some people are in this position tbh. I wonder if it will ever change.

Although If house prices drop I suppose it could be a double ended sword really.

One of my friends just turned 43, she is still living at home. Her parents have a council house in central London, they bought it for less than £30k when she was 5/6 under Right to Buy.

Of the people she grew up with, most have council properties that they got because they had children. As she has her own room at her parents, she is not classed as ‘in need’ and has been registered with the council for over 20 years, but never has enough points to bid.

She has always worked full time but never earned enough to buy anything within about 50 miles. I don’t imagine she’s alone in that.

Both my DC moved out for university/work etc, and both are now at home for the foreseeable future in their mid-20s.

We recognised this a few years ago when we had paid off our mortgage on our 3 bed semi. We had 2 children who we didn't see being able or wanting to move any time soon so we made the conscious decision to upsize. We took out a mortgage and bought a house double the size of our old one.

It hasnt stretched us too much and tbh we are not taking anything other than a token gesture from the oldest ds for keep. Younger dd is at college and works part time. He is saving well and if the right situation arose could afford the deposit on a house at 21 but i don't expect that to happen. It works really well now. We dont get frustrated living on top of each other. They have the space for having a girlfriend or friends over. They are working adults now and we all manage.

Happy for it to continue like this for as long as they want.

Why is it a weird question? Ffs you can’t ask anything on this forum these days.

im asking the question because I’ve lived a sheltered adult life, and absolutely NOT through parental privilege. I just managed to fall into a lot of luck and continue to do so. The reason I’m asking is because if truth be told I have absolutely no idea about the way of the world, wouldn’t know how to pay a utility bill or how to even register to pay one for that matter, I run businesses but have someone that does all that kind of stuff for me and quite honestly wing it through life. So excuse me for being curious as to how people are living and managing.

London prices are just mind blowing and I see why so many people leave there. I really feel for people like your friend who are tied to an area due to older parents etc.

My Grandmother was sent away at 14 from the family farm thinking she was going on holiday. She was being sent to work for her Aunt who waa a housekeeper and she was to be a live in house maid.

My Dad and Mum left home in their early 20s when they got married. They were on a council housing list but there were no homes so the council allocated them a lifetime (but not portable) fixed rate mortgage to buy privately.

My husband and I had early careers whe we met and we bought our first home with a 2.5x mortgage in our early 20s. I moved from home to.this house. My husband had left home at 16 for the Navy. He was renting a dire, but cheap, bedsit when he moved into.our.home.

Both my kids now have a deposit raised but the amount they can borrow has fallen dramatically with the interest rate rises, so they still can't buy anything. In the meantime,.they continue to.save whilst paying for small studio type rental accommodation.

What amazing, supportive and lovely parents you sound. Your DC are very lucky x

Meant to add our kids are mid to late 20s so I can't see them.getting a house until 30 minimum

If you go to university (obviously not everyone does), then it's definitely becoming more common to go to a local uni and live at home than it used to be. But actually this is more in line with other countries, and the UK is (or used to be) quite unusual in terms of the number of students who live away from home during uni.

interesting RE moving away for uni.

I personally would have great difficulty renting a bed sit or house share, in my mind that would be the worst thing. I applaud people that do for their independence. (That sounds really patronising but I genuinely don’t mean it in that way). It’s just all mind blowing I can’t believe this is the country we live in in 2023. I don’t even know who we could vote to change it. Such a mess

I mean, a 1 bed flat on my street, not 'naice' area, not super central (edge zone 2/3) , costs between 435 and 560k. My DD is 24, earning 34k. She would need a deposit of somewhere between 200 - 300k to buy.
As it happens, she chooses to rent rather than live at home, but pays nearly 1k a month for a v shitty room in a 3 bed flat in Stepney. When she gets fed up she'll be back to save up for a while, and I'll be happy to have her.
We've converted the loft in the expectation that both our kids might need a crash pad at various points.

I have two friends who had kids, their relationships broke down and they are now living with their parents/ in their family home, with their children. It is impossible for either of them to save enough to get a deposit. One of them has to work around school hours, so is limited in terms of what she can do. Her youngest will be in secondary school the year after next, which should help a bit, but it's going to take years for her to be able to afford a place of her own.

Whilst they are both very grateful to their parents for their support, it's not what either of them want, and I suspect it's not what their parents were anticipating either. Who would want to be in their mid 30s, never really having lived away from home, with their children? The housing market is broken and unfortunately they are having to deal with the consequences of that. It is demoralising and depressing for them both to have this sort of extended infanthood. I can also see them sliding into the role of live in carers for their parents as they get older.

Amongst people I know, the ones most likely to have left home young are those who went to university who often did not return home after that. Others have left home around 30 on average.
It is also common for people to return home after a break up, job loss or tenancy ending. Many of these return and leave again more than once, and can end up living permanently with parents in their 40s.

Whys it the worst thing?

My son's accommodation as a apprenticeship student was a houseshare. He lived with a professional.guy and had a list of shared chores and simple rules to follow. It helped him on a stepping stone to become independent plus it was an affordable option when he was on a low apprenticeship income. He loved it there and stayed 2 years.

A bed sit or house share is normal for young people in their 20s and even 30s where I live. My DD earns about 25k and lives at home with us in zone 2. It’s just cheaper. I don’t earn much more than her, but together it’s fine.